Midget cowboy complained to doctor about excruciating pain in his balls. Doc looked him over, pulled out a huge set of scissors. Midget says you ain't cutting my balls off. Doc said, no, I'm cutting the tops off your new boots.
best short joke i ever heard was heading back to the ship in kuala lampur. there was a sign of a police man w/ one hand on his hip, and one off to the side. so one of the PH's start yelling at me while i was walking thye pier back to the ship and when i turned around he took my pic.
posted it the next day and the way it came out i was beneath the level of the sign cop's arm. he captioned it "HM2 Edwards isn't tall enough to ride the USS Blue Ridge" and posted it on the ships webpage for the whole crew to get a loff at.