Movies that will probably be awful.

justifyyourgarb

You drab South Bend cocksuckers are all the same.
Mar 15, 2007
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#1
Saw some trailers at the theater the other day.

Firstly, this Joseph Gordon Leavitt vehicle looks so bad, I thought it was a joke.
[video=youtube;Pn6ie1zCkZU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn6ie1zCkZU[/video]
I love when movies make up worlds that don't exist. Like in those break dance movies, there's always an established world of competitive street break dancing. In this, it's the fast paced world of bike messaging.

Getting chased by the cops, and avoiding them on a bike. Awesome.

YOU SEE HIM AVOID THAT COP WITH THE WHEELY FLIP!!!!1!


This looked equally bad.
[video=youtube;hTUvX_pYNBM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTUvX_pYNBM&feature=related[/video]
It was really hard to hear over the sound of 75 vaginas collectively moistening. I couldn't be happier that that dude from Star Trek is going bald already.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
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#2
There is not enough room on this whole board to complement that thread title.
 
Dec 12, 2007
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#3
for every 10 movies 9 will suck dog dick, maybe 8 if your lucky
 

Fustercluck

Registered User
Jul 25, 2005
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FEMA Region 9
#4
there's that new action film with the fag from the twilight movies, not the skinny fag, the other one. Its gonna suck
 
Jun 2, 2005
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#5
there's that new action film with the fag from the twilight movies, not the skinny fag, the other one. Its gonna suck
Kidnapped or something. It really bugs me how often I've been seeing ads for that piece of shit.
 
Jan 9, 2006
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#6
That bike movie, just like the break dancing movies you mentioned, are aimed at kids and teenagers. If you're over the age of 15 you're not supposed to like it. When I was a kid I loved the movies Rad, Gleaming The Cube, and a ton of other junk. There's no accounting for the taste of kids. The other is a cheese fest romance flick, so that's obviously not marketed to the wackbag crowd, either.

Here's a better challenge. How about we look for movies that on paper we probably should like, but still look awful.
 

jagsfans

Registered User
Dec 26, 2005
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Jacksonville FL
#7
Real Steel and I think that's enough said. I've been seeing this trailer for what feels like a year. Kate from Lost, "You got nothing left". Oh Really you cliche ridden piece of shit!!!
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
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#8
You ruuuuned your own god damn thread, with the second pick.
 

Falldog

Wackbag's Best Conservative
Donator
May 16, 2007
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Nothern VA
#9
That bike movie, just like the break dancing movies you mentioned, are aimed at kids and teenagers. If you're over the age of 15 you're not supposed to like it. When I was a kid I loved the movies Rad, Gleaming The Cube, and a ton of other junk. There's no accounting for the taste of kids. The other is a cheese fest romance flick, so that's obviously not marketed to the wackbag crowd, either.

Here's a better challenge. How about we look for movies that on paper we probably should like, but still look awful.
It sounds like it could be a simple fun action movie to rake in the bucks. Some movies shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Though that trailer is fucking atrocious. "Oh, it's a zombie movie? Wait, it's not a zombie movie? What's going on?"
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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#10
Abducted, Real Steel (the "nothing left" line bugs the fuck out of me), Dolphin Tale, Dream House, Moneyball, Footloose, The 3D Musketeers, In Time, Jack and Jill, Arthur Christmas, Happy Feet 2, The Sitter,
 

NuttyJim

Registered User
Feb 18, 2006
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#11
World War Z is gonna blow
 
Dec 12, 2007
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#12
Killers Elite, Jason stop making the same shit, we get it you kick and punch very well and can't pick a good script to save your career or life
 

silentbob8201

Registered User
Jun 29, 2005
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#13
Eh the chick flick dont look that bad growing up with 2 sisters i've seen much much worse. Yeah Liddy i have to agree with the Sitter or you know exactly the same movie as Adventures in Babysitting except with Fat Jonah Hill.
 
Dec 12, 2007
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#14
Speaking of the Seth Rogan gang any movie with Seth Rogan is also shit. I know some of you like him but hes done nothing good as far as I've seen.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,643
49,886
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#15
Eh the chick flick dont look that bad growing up with 2 sisters i've seen much much worse. Yeah Liddy i have to agree with the Sitter or you know exactly the same movie as Adventures in Babysitting except with Fat Jonah Hill.
I don't know man, a kid farts in it.
 

Stormrider666

Hell is home.
Mar 19, 2005
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#16
Abducted, Real Steel (the "nothing left" line bugs the fuck out of me), Dolphin Tale, Dream House, Moneyball, Footloose, The 3D Musketeers, In Time, Jack and Jill, Arthur Christmas, Happy Feet 2, The Sitter,
I'm actually willing to give The Three Musketeers a chance since Christopher Waltz is playing Cardinal Richeliu and Ray Stevenson is one of the Musketeers. I won't be seeing it in 3D though.

Killers Elite, Jason stop making the same shit, we get it you kick and punch very well and can't pick a good script to save your career or life
I have to disagree with you about the Killers Elite being awful. But I will agree that Jason Statham has been in some pretty shitty movies. But he has been in some pretty good ones as well.

Speaking of the Seth Rogan gang any movie with Seth Rogan is also shit. I know some of you like him but hes done nothing good as far as I've seen.
Now this I will agree with you on. I still don't understand why Seth Rogan is a movie star.

Any movie starring Katherine Heigel in it is guaranteed to be awful.
 
Dec 12, 2007
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#17
I have to disagree with you about the Killers Elite being awful. But I will agree that Jason Statham has been in some pretty shitty movies. But he has been in some pretty good ones as well.

Now this I will agree with you on. I still don't understand why Seth Rogan is a movie star.
I love Snatch so not all his movies suck but he seems to be recycling his scripts at this point.

I can't fathom how hes seen as funny either. All his roles could be played by any other actor and have little to no change, he brings nothing to everything.
 

thekidslepthere

Registered User
May 19, 2004
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#18
Abducted, Real Steel (the "nothing left" line bugs the fuck out of me), Dolphin Tale, Dream House, Moneyball, Footloose, The 3D Musketeers, In Time, Jack and Jill, Arthur Christmas, Happy Feet 2, The Sitter,
How dare you shame Dolphin Tale. The real life Dolphin plays himself in the movie! It's almost as amazing as that WW2 vet with the hook hands playing himself in The Best Years of Our Lives.
 

thekidslepthere

Registered User
May 19, 2004
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#23
I wonder who got paid, if anyone for the story rights. I guess the aquarium. It's easier to make up a story around the dolphin then to have to get all these Florida hicks to sign off on it.

I'd also like to see a true life story that isn't at least 75% made up. The script about my family that's in development is the exception, maybe 50% of it is true, but most of it is so ridiculous no one will ever believe it. I'm now developing two sports movies based on true stories, and besides the names and the out comes and a couple trailer moments pulled from real stories, the rest are all made up.

The other problem with all movies in Hollywood is the WGA rules for writers and the studio execs who lack any confidence. They'll buy a great script, but decide it needs a rewrite or a polish, usually by a friend of theirs. The thing is if you're a writer and you get hired to do this, if you can prove you changed more then 50% of the script you get the bulk of the residuals for decades to come, so boys become girls, whites become blacks, and so on. So what was a decent script with a couple small problems, now is completely rewritten, but the studio has just doubled the money they spent on the script so they just move forward with it, even though it now sucks.
 

Neon

ネオン
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Mar 23, 2008
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#24
First thing I do every time I see a movie that's "based on a true story" is research the inaccuracies. Most of the times I get disappointed by how different the movie and real life story are.
 
Jan 9, 2006
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#25
First thing I do every time I see a movie that's "based on a true story" is research the inaccuracies. Most of the times I get disappointed by how different the movie and real life story are.
Except Fargo. They got that one perfect.