Mr. Plinkett Reviews: The Official Thread

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
@BIV rank R1

Horrible
Bad
Sometimes
Often
Good
Great
Um...low end of sometimes.

Call it a good "Saturday afternoon while doing something else" movie.

Better tham TPM and Clones...about on par with Sith.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
For the record, from worst to best


TLJ
The Christmas Special
Clones
TPM
Sith
R1 (I could be persuaded to put this behind Sith)
Clone Wars 2
Clone Wars 1
TFA
RotJ
ANH
Empire

I still haven't seen Solo
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
Thank God the first half hour of Catpool was so good we decided to stop as not to ruin the perfection.

A) Great Plinkett. Better than TFA and Girlbusters
B) He's doing episode 9. Don't be fools.
 
1) Aside from R1, that's not even remotely true. And R1 wasn't horrible, just not great.
2) It was better the second time I saw it
Wait a minute, didn't you make a point of saying it was worse when you re-watched it? I remember me and @Pigdango were quite happy when you finally admitted it.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Wait a minute, didn't you make a point of saying it was worse when you re-watched it? I remember me and @Pigdango were quite happy when you finally admitted it.
No, No. The "better the second time I watched it" was in reference to Guardians 2.


My opinion of R1 dropped dramatically after a second viewing.
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
No, No. The "better the second time I watched it" was in reference to Guardians 2.


My opinion of R1 dropped dramatically after a second viewing.
No, No. The "better the second time I watched it" was in reference to Guardians 2.


My opinion of R1 dropped dramatically after a second viewing.
Speaking of f'ing garbage your heart goes a flitter flutter for, they're showing Transformers The Movie in theaters 9/27.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Speaking of f'ing garbage your heart goes a flitter flutter for, they're showing Transformers The Movie in theaters 9/27.
For your information, that was a fine piece of cinema.

:)
 
I love how understated this was. I think that was the right move considering how INSANE the rhetoric was surrounding the movie. It made it way more effective and not about fanboyism or SJWs or yadda yadda.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
I love how understated this was. I think that was the right move considering how INSANE the rhetoric was surrounding the movie. It made it way more effective and not about fanboyism or SJWs or yadda yadda.
I disagree. While I enjoyed the Hell out of it, it felt kinda half ass. It's easily as bad as the prequels, it should have got the same treatment.
 
I disagree. While I enjoyed the Hell out of it, it felt kinda half ass. It's easily as bad as the prequels, it should have got the same treatment.
It's not as bad as the prequels, not least of which because it doesn't suffer from their lack of actual filmmaking. The prequels have an entire additional aspect to them that this movie doesn't have - stuff like scene construction and flow, framing, blocking, and also not casting and acting and shit like that. It's a competently-made film on many levels on which the prequels are not competent.

Also I can't help but sense a grudging respect they have for Johnson for kinda doing this deliberately, even if they don't like the result. Almost as though if Mike and Jay got to direct a Star Wars movie, maybe they would decide to do something sorta trolling just because. So game respects game lol
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
It's not as bad as the prequels, not least of which because it doesn't suffer from their lack of actual filmmaking. The prequels have an entire additional aspect to them that this movie doesn't have - stuff like scene construction and flow, framing, blocking, and also not casting and acting and shit like that. It's a competently-made film on many levels on which the prequels are not competent.

Also I can't help but sense a grudging respect they have for Johnson for kinda doing this deliberately, even if they don't like the result. Almost as though if Mike and Jay got to direct a Star Wars movie, maybe they would decide to do something sorta trolling just because. So game respects game lol
I agree with this. Putting it below the Christmas Special is ridiculous. And it's not as bad as the prequels. It was a collection of bad or at least questionable decisions - but made competently. I think Casio Bright (and the humor) are the only really egregious problems I have with the movie. I think I can appreciate something more if I see what they were trying to do but they failed at it rather than having no idea at all.
 
I agree with this. Putting it below the Christmas Special is ridiculous. And it's not as bad as the prequels. It was a collection of bad or at least questionable decisions - but made competently. I think Casio Bright (and the humor) are the only really egregious problems I have with the movie. I think I can appreciate something more if I see what they were trying to do but they failed at it rather than having no idea at all.
On subsequent viewings the humor was also the thing that stood out the most to me as hard to overlook. That and the entire Finn/Rose story line. A better contrived plot involving just the fleet and Skellig island (perhaps with Finn having to go there to get Rey back), and a lot less humor and it would have been good. I still think some of the ideas in it were great and offbeat in a way that would have worked amazingly in a better package.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
It's not as bad as the prequels, not least of which because it doesn't suffer from their lack of actual filmmaking. The prequels have an entire additional aspect to them that this movie doesn't have - stuff like scene construction and flow, framing, blocking, and also not casting and acting and shit like that. It's a competently-made film on many levels on which the prequels are not competent.

Also I can't help but sense a grudging respect they have for Johnson for kinda doing this deliberately, even if they don't like the result. Almost as though if Mike and Jay got to direct a Star Wars movie, maybe they would decide to do something sorta trolling just because. So game respects game lol
There is nothing competently made about this film OTHER than scene construction. Well constructed scenes of garbage. It has it's own horrid casting problems, IE Rose and captain lesbian. Of course, neither character should have been in the film in the first place. That could very well be the worst character BDT has ever played. And it does new and horrid character issues around misuse of existing characters. Fin was pretty good in the last film, he was an abortion in this one. The likable Poe turned into a selfish cunt. You kept waiting for Luke to make his turn and become a real character, but no, he stayed a cartoon until the end.


As terrible as George's scrpits were, he at least had a clear focus on where he wanted to take the films. This damn thing felt like Johnson was making it up as he went along.


The casino scenes may be the absolute worst in the entire franchise.


The ONLY good thing about the movie was the Rey/Ben plotline and they even fucked that up in the end.


Don't give me this "not as bad as the prequels" horse shit. I'd rather watch RotS. R1 wasn't good, but it's another level above this garbage.


Johnson needs to go make horror movies or romcoms so I never have to be infected with his cancer ever again.
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
On subsequent viewings the humor was also the thing that stood out the most to me as hard to overlook. That and the entire Finn/Rose story line. A better contrived plot involving just the fleet and Skellig island (perhaps with Finn having to go there to get Rey back), and a lot less humor and it would have been good. I still think some of the ideas in it were great and offbeat in a way that would have worked amazingly in a better package.
I actually did one of those quasi-rewrites here where you end up ashamed because you put in so much time into something that's utterly non-sensical and not at all good (and even avoids the SJW whining while retaining Rose and Holdo as *gasp* girwels ), but once those gears start 'a turning...

Fuck it. Here are the changes I'd make based on what they gave us, most of which I'd said before. Again, I'm not creating a whole new movie, but now I'll compile everything. And yes, I know a lot of these things are contradictory and don't mesh with other points. This is just a list of points. Okay? Is that okay with you @BIV ?

1) Eliminate a lot of the "comedy" - take out the entire phone call bit at the beginning. Instead of Luke taking the lightsaber and throwing it over the shoulder, he looks down disdainfully at it instead and walks away.

2) I'd keep most of what happens on Luke Island except I'd eliminate the Porgs and the Caretakers. Luke is alone. Other than maybe the blue milk monsters for nourishment, there's no one to make the place seem livable. It's miserable but he needs to be. Fuck it, take away the blue milk monsters too. It's just him his thoughts and his ghosts.

3) Holdo - Make her a more frazzled, distrustful character. Instead of looking well composed, calm and hippy-ish, she's over her head and she knows it. She never expected to be The Leader, but now she has to be and she doesn't know what to do. (Yes, shades of President Rosalind, but I think the character could be different enough.) Leia's incapacitated, her fleet is being destroyed left and right, her only plan is to run away slowly. She knows there's a base but if a First Order ship decides to step on the gas, they're done. She believes that they're being tracked because there's a spy on the ship. For all she knows, it could be Poe. That's why she can't share her scheme with anyone. Is there a spy? I don't know. Probably not. Maybe it's Leia's stupid tracker she gave to Rey that she said could be tracked through hyperspace and never brought up again. Maybe they just put a tracker on the ship - everyone becomes so obsessed with this epic scheme and plan that they miss the simplest smallest thing because they aren't thinking straight and aren't well trained.

4) Don't bring up Rey's parents. It felt shoehorned in, and that's a mystery that could have waited another stupid movie.

5) Let Snoke die without us knowing his backstory and in a similar way as in this movie. Just none of that "YOU GOT BEATEN BY A GIRL! DON'T YOU HAVE A COCK?!?!" I also think people wouldn't have been as bothered with his lack of backstory if they didn't just get the disappointing Rey reveal.

6) The C-Plot. Honestly, anything would have been better than the Casino Planet. Even the rationale behind getting the Master Codebreaker doesn't make sense - they need someone to hack into the Empire's Codes so they can sneak onto the ship and hack something else to keep them from getting tracked. Not only are there too many levels of "who cares?" to that storyline but it also requires a lot of perfect timing. To get to a planet, recruit someone, and get back all before the Empire realizes they could probably just send a few faster ships ahead of the big slow Resistance one and start shooting at it.

So what to do? I don't know. I guess you can keep everyone on the ship, but I understand why they wouldn't want to do that. I guess you can go back to MILF's bar, but I guess that's destroyed even though it seemed standing when they called her. Why did they call her? I don't know.

Anyway, the "theme" of the movie is failure, being old, and giving up. So they need to go to a planet to get something or someone (I'm not rewriting the whole fucking thing), and the planet couldn't care less about the First Order/Resistance fight. Not in the shitty Casino Planet way, but in the "you guys have been going at it for decades, we just want to live our lives in peace. The Empire might be assholes, but you assholes couldn't notice a 1000x times bigger Death Star being built under your nose. Leave us the fuck alone and stop this nonsense." way. Maybe the guy is a former Rebel operative. Maybe the guy is a former Imperial asshole who ended up betraying the Empire. They need him to raise an army. And he says no.

It feeds into their disillusionment. Maybe Finn even decides to leave the Resistance again because he realizes that he does not want to be a soldier, no matter which side. He still wants to help people though. He's not becoming a hermit. He's joining the society. He wants to do good, but never again at the end of a blaster.

But you really could do anything to fill the hole here and make it better.

7) Rose. After her sister's death, Rose is out for blood. She is more angry warrior than stinky lump of shit. This way when she gets her eventual "love will save the day" moment, it's an arc. Instead, she's like that the entire fucking movie. And, needless to say, she's not played by Potatoes. There are a lot of Asian actresses who could exude some sort of something - Colleen Wing, Asian from Pacific Rim 1, Asian from Pacific Rim 2. They could be harsh and cold, but can have some warmth about them. Potatoes is ... I don't know how that happened. I don't know what she is. Boyega has chemistry with fucking Scott Eastwood of all people and she brings him down. She is Kryptonite.

8) Knights of Ren. Mention them. Maybe they're Snoke's guards now. I don't know. Just mention them.

9) End a half hour early using Holdo's sacrifice maneuver as the climax. Here's where the characters are:
* Finn/Rose are either captured by the First Order or they just said "fuck it" and quit.
* Rey and Kylo Ren leave together, possibly to the planet where the Knight of Ren are partying.
* Holdo did the sacrifice move so both sides have completely obliterated fleets.
* The last we see of Luke is him looking at the Falcon leaving. I guess that means we don't get the Yoda sequence. Oh well.
* Both Hux and Poe, now the inexperienced leaders of their respective armies, are going off to points unknown. Save the Salt Hoth sequence for the start of Episode 9.

But really, outside of the Casino Sequence, it's mostly minor fixes. Give me $15 million.
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
There is nothing competently made about this film OTHER than scene construction. Well constructed scenes of garbage. It has it's own horrid casting problems, IE Rose and captain lesbian. Of course, neither character should have been in the film in the first place. That could very well be the worst character BDT has ever played. And it does new and horrid character issues around misuse of existing characters. Fin was pretty good in the last film, he was an abortion in this one. The likable Poe turned into a selfish cunt. You kept waiting for Luke to make his turn and become a real character, but no, he stayed a cartoon until the end.


As terrible as George's scrpits were, he at least had a clear focus on where he wanted to take the films. This damn thing felt like Johnson was making it up as he went along.


The casino scenes may be the absolute worst in the entire franchise.


The ONLY good thing about the movie was the Rey/Ben plotline and they even fucked that up in the end.


Don't give me this "not as bad as the prequels" horse shit. I'd rather watch RotS. R1 wasn't good, but it's another level above this garbage.


Johnson needs to go make horror movies or romcoms so I never have to be infected with his cancer ever again.
R1 is not better than TLJ. Get off it. I've read a lot of your posts, and I still don't get why it makes you so angry. Genuinely angry. R1 makes me a lot angrier.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
And, I'm sorry, but they SHOULD have addressed the SJW nonsense. It was like a strobe light constantly going off in the background. They didn't even make an attempt to disguise it. Like so many things in our society, this blight is the single biggest problem in Hollywood right now. They go straight at every other problem in Hollywood, but refuse to do more than just hint about this. I won't go so far as to call it cowardly, but it IS annoying as fuck and becoming an increasingly large hole in HitB, let alone this.
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
And, I'm sorry, but they SHOULD have addressed the SJW nonsense. It was like a strobe light constantly going off in the background. They didn't even maan attempt to disguise it. Like so many things in our society, this blight is the single biggest problem in Hollywood right now. They go straight at every other problem in Hollywood, but refuse to do more than just hint about this. I won't go so far as to call it cowardly, but it IS annoying as fuck and becoming an increasingly large hole in HitB, let alone this.
I honestly don't see SJWism as an issue with TLJ unless you're just obsessed with SJWism. If they were to talk about it, it should be how both sides are obsessive babies.
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
And, I'm sorry, but they SHOULD have addressed the SJW nonsense. It was like a strobe light constantly going off in the background. They didn't even make an attempt to disguise it. Like so many things in our society, this blight is the single biggest problem in Hollywood right now. They go straight at every other problem in Hollywood, but refuse to do more than just hint about this. I won't go so far as to call it cowardly, but it IS annoying as fuck and becoming an increasingly large hole in HitB, let alone this.
By the way, they have touched on SJWism in HitB and in the Ghostbusters Plinkett and they've made snarky comments about it throughout a lot of their programs. It's not that they're blind to it, it's that - I think they view it in the same way I kind of do. It's there, it's worth making fun of here and there, but it's not as big a deal as a lot of people want it to be and it's not this all encompassing force whose tentacles are everywhere. Not every female/minority casting is Because Agenda, and the more people keep acting like it is, the more this ridiculous "fight" will go on. There is far worthier fodder when discussing and mocking things, as this showed.

And just so you know, unless you're really deep into the SJW/anti-SJW movement, most of the time you come across as buffoons. Both sides. The longer you go on, the more you sound like your grasping at straws to make a point that was never particularly clear in the first place. And it doesn't take that long to get there. I mean really, unless you're the type of person who likes frothing about it, it's really fucking dull to listen to.

So they lightly touched on it/talked around it with Holdo, and I think that was the perfect amount.
 
I actually did one of those quasi-rewrites here where you end up ashamed because you put in so much time into something that's utterly non-sensical and not at all good (and even avoids the SJW whining while retaining Rose and Holdo as *gasp* girwels ), but once those gears start 'a turning...

I'll dig into that later haha.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
I honestly don't see SJWism as an issue with TLJ unless you're just obsessed with SJWism. If they were to talk about it, it should be how both sides are obsessive babies.
Rose, the wise woman out thinking the stupid, cowardly man, Hodo, the wise woman out thinking the stupid, aggressive man, the entire "rich people can only be rich by hurting people" casino planet...there is only one reason all this shit is in there and it's NOT to advance the plot.

You want to add in your horse shit politics, fine. Do it tastefully, like Black Panther did.

But when it fucks with the entire script it shouldn't be brushed aside.

Meanwhile, Leia was a complete cunt to Han when she met him, but the script never emasculated him and Han gave back as much as he got. It was a partnership.

I know Above it all Liddy likes to be above it all, but you can't be THAT oblivious.
 

LiddyRules

You Dig On Multiverses?
Rose, the wise woman out thinking the stupid, cowardly man, Hodo, the wise woman out thinking the stupid, aggressive man, the entire "rich people can only be rich by hurting people" casino planet...there is only one reason all this shit is in there and it's NOT to advance the plot.

You want to add in your horse shit politics, fine. Do it tastefully, like Black Panther did.

But when it fucks with the entire script it shouldn't be brushed aside.

Meanwhile, Leia was a complete cunt to Han when she met him, but the script never emasculated him and Han gave back as much as he got. It was a partnership.

I know Above it all Liddy likes to be above it all, but you can't be THAT oblivious.
I know @Neon and I have made fun of the All Future Rich People Are Victorian Dilettantes thing before, but it's not like I'm getting outraged over Hunger Games. And those movies were primarily about that. This was some offhand comment that didn't work. I actually would have liked more about it. My problem was that nothing came from it more than it existing. If Hux was in deep to some arms dealer, or the Rebels were, it might have added some flair to the proceedings.

Rose didn't outthink anyone. Are you talking about when she gave the ring to the child? BB8 saved them more than Rose saved anyone. Then she rams her transport into another transport. Brilliant!

And Holdo didn't outhink anyone. She fucked up in a big way then sacrificed herself as a way to say sorry.

I'm honestly not acting "above it all," I just don't have whatever weird emotional obsession you have with it. I'm not saying it's not there. I'm saying you see it as a 10, I see it as a 2, and with that 2 comes an overall feeling of "so what?"
 
Last edited:
Top