My cousin's coming in for a visit

mills

I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness
Jan 30, 2005
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#1
Here's the lowdown: I think I might want to kill his father.



This isn't about my cuz at all. We're the same age, Dave and me. We grew up together to some extent. My grandparents - Nana and Johnny - used to drive me out to Indiana every year (2-day trip each way) for 10-14 days visiting him and my uncle [Ron] and my aunt.
Dave's a good guy.
And so were his parents. At one point, at least.

This is about my uncle [Ron]. He's the 3rd of my grandmother's 4 children. He's the father of my (single child like me) cousin Dave, who's just about to come in and visit, new wife included.

Long story short, my uncle wrote a letter 2 years ago. It was a scathing letter detailing the personal and financial shortcomings of myself and my mother, and it was written (in numbered copies) to all 4 of my grandmother's kids (yes, including himself). None of these feelings had ever been aired by him, or anyone, before. Not by a longshot. My mother raised me alone with zero help from my dad. My grandmother's other two children besides my mom and my Dickfuck Uncle [Ron], are a successful/stable nurse and a successful/stable architecht. My uncle [Ron] is a successful physicist, married to a successful radiologist. That leaves my mom, the fourth child, who was a waitress her whole life.

Am I wrong in assuming that my mom is the natural inheritor of my grandmother's paltry, ridiculously old-fashioned, lower middle class home? Especially considering the other 3 of my grandmother's kids are doing perfectly fine, and, in this cunt shithead Uncle's case, fine and then some?

Not that the matter had ever been discussed before.

My grandmother and I and my mom have had, at least since I was born 30 years ago, the closest relationship out of anyone in the family. We always show up and leave together at family functions. We're in the same shitty tax bracket. She sat for me all the time while my mom was working the dinner shift. We're on the closest of terms, closest by a lot. But out of nowhere, Uncle Cock Ass From Indiana, suddenly decides out of absolutely fucking nowhere that he ought to be able to add to his millions with one quarter (1/4 for each of the four children) of the 60k we're expecting to get from my grandmother's house when she dies.

So he writes this absolutely lunatic, very long, very volatile letter, and sends it to everyone.

A few points about grams. 1) She's not even fucking dead yet. 2) She's quite possibly the most decent person who ever lived. 3) There was never any drama, in the entire family, before now. 4) He Broke her heart. He accused my mom and me of evilly taking advantage of my grandmother, which is not even close to the truth. The simple economics of bank statements proves that one. And he used the most offensive and abrasive words imaginable, blaming my grandmother for how she 'made herself a victim' by allowing it to happen.

It's this last one - him breaking her heart - which is the reason I am almost sure I will kill him if he ever comes around here again. I don't care if he's in his 60s. My grandmother's a very simple person. Her life was defined by precisely two things. One is the tragic death of her husband in the war. The other is her humble attempt to raise her four kids to be the most decent people they possibly could be.

And now I have to deal with this man's son who I haven't seen or talked to in 10 years. The son of a man I once wrote a high school essay on wisdom about. A guy I don't have a problem with, other than with who his dad is. This is really difficult since I don't think I can sit in the same room with a person whose Father I know I would kill if he were the one visiting.
 

weakside

He was stupid. I was lucky. I will visit him soon.
Dec 9, 2004
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#3
Not knowing the entire story my opinion is this: the only person whose opinion is relevant on what should happen to your Grandmothers estate when he passes on is your Grandmother. No matter what she decides, and as long as her mind is sound, everyone should respect that decision.

I agree, sending out those letters in a douche-bag move. Whether your Uncle or mother is wealthy or not is irrelevant as like I said, this is totally your Grandmother's decision. He should stay out of it. That is unless you and your mother were actually trying to manipulate the situation and by doing so are taking advantage of her, which you say you weren't.

Greed is a horrible thing and can tear a family apart. Sad.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
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#4
Greed is a horrible thing and can tear a family apart. Sad.
QFT

I hope your grandmother revises her will and only leaves him a dollar.

Is he also the last one to help her out in any kind of emergency?

It's totally up to your grandmother as to who gets what. One friends mother left everything to him, excluding her other children, but being a decent person, he gave half of the estate to his sister who was in need of financial help. That act only, speaks volumes about his character.
 

mills

I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness
Jan 30, 2005
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#5
Thanks for the replies.
Is he also the last one to help her out in any kind of emergency?
I wouldn't say that. Sort of a n/a answer I guess. It always bugged my grandfather that he never sent them a dime. I never knew why he didn't, but I guess now I do. If I had his and his wife's kind of money, I would have bought them a new house. Or at least a couch or a TV or some fuckin thing.

As far as what my grandmother wants, she always planned on this. Way before she became a little senile. Part of his letter was directed at her saying it's "not fair" and it should be divided equally. I still can't get over how out-of-nowhere it was. You'd think he'd call her up and try to just discuss it at least once, rather than go right to defcon 5 and send over all the warheads. The guy went batshit.
 

LBF

Banned
Jun 18, 2005
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#6
Don't sweat your dickhead uncle. If he's as big an ass as he appears, your grandmother knows it. Whether her will is amended to reflect this knowledge doesn't really matter in the long run. If this asshole is hellbent on getting 1/4 share of the house when she passes, he's a whole lot poorer than the rest of the family.



That being said, kicking the dogshit out of his kid will probably make you feel better.
 

Nothing Sound

Riding the Biggest Wave
Dec 9, 2004
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#7
People worry about the dumbest things.
This is why I keep to myself and stay as far away from people as possible.
 

Digital_Trauma

"man of leisure". . . aaaand repeat
May 2, 2005
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#9
If I were you, I'd plan ahead that your Grandmother's stuff will be divided up equally when she's gone, even if the others don't really need the money. Your dickhead Uncle will probably even try to bring up anything extra that you or your mom got over the years from her, even if he has to make stuff up. My family did this kind of stuff when my Grandmother died. Unless it's millions of dollars, it's not worth your stress, and certainly not worth her stress while she is still alive to bring any of this up with her. I've got Aunts and Uncles like yours, they have spent their whole lives being assholes, now they're more or less dead to me. I also wouldn't worry about your cousin. He probably knows his dad is an ass. Just steer clear of these topics or avoid him altogether.
 

Mags

LDAR, bitch.
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
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#10
Got any female cousins?


just askin'....
 
Nov 8, 2005
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#11
sounds like a dick, but he does have a right to a quarter the inheritance. Assuming your grandmother doesn't give it all to you and your mom.