Name the best thing that happened to you today

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Went pheasant hunting today. Work-related trip. Left my gun in the truck on the last walk so I could get some pictures. A rooster got up and flew in my direction. Took four pictures of it as it got closer and closer then put my phone down and caught it out of midair with my bare hands.

There were fourteen witnesses.
You’re lucky you didn’t get shot in the face
 

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
Sleep. I'm a big fan of sleep lately. I don't know why. All I want to do is sleep. Spare time on the weekends? Sleep. Chance to go to bed early during the week? Absolutely sleep. Upgraded my bed recently and it's heaven. More sleep, more happy.
 

Biff Hardslab

I have the t-shirt
I just got back home from 4 days at Disney World. For the most part I enjoyed it. They don’t have many thrill rides there, but the ones they do are pretty good. The Aerosmith roller coaster, Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, and Avatar Flight of Passage are well done and the fireworks at Magic Kingdom are fantastic. As cheesy as it may sound Splash Mountain was one of my favorites.

Epcot sucks.

The reason why leaving is the happiest thing today is because the most unhappy children on Earth are at Disney World. For 4 days I have been subjected to the never ending sound of whining and crying children everywhere I went. It never stopped. I watched a girl about 4 or 5 years old throw a level 10 tantrum because she didn’t get her own ice cream. I now have a new level of hatred for small children and strollers. The brigade of elderly and fat asses on electric scooters clogging up the walkways were hateable too.

On the plus side, there was no shortage of beautiful women there. Minnie Mouse bows and short polka dot skirts are as hot as a catholic schoolgirl uniform.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
I just got back home from 4 days at Disney World. For the most part I enjoyed it. They don’t have many thrill rides there, but the ones they do are pretty good. The Aerosmith roller coaster, Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, and Avatar Flight of Passage are well done and the fireworks at Magic Kingdom are fantastic. As cheesy as it may sound Splash Mountain was one of my favorites.

Epcot sucks.

The reason why leaving is the happiest thing today is because the most unhappy children on Earth are at Disney World. For 4 days I have been subjected to the never ending sound of whining and crying children everywhere I went. It never stopped. I watched a girl about 4 or 5 years old throw a level 10 tantrum because she didn’t get her own ice cream. I now have a new level of hatred for small children and strollers. The brigade of elderly and fat asses on electric scooters clogging up the walkways were hateable too.

On the plus side, there was no shortage of beautiful women there. Minnie Mouse bows and short polka dot skirts are as hot as a catholic schoolgirl uniform.
I do the half marathons at Disney(at least I did before my knee became riddled with termites) and picture this....

The entire EPCOT world showcase is one big private party from 9PM to 1AM during the Food & Wine Festival for people in good enough shape to run 13 miles. No snot-nosed brats... no strollers... no flab carts.

That's how you do Disney.
 

Biff Hardslab

I have the t-shirt
The Food and Wine Festival was going on while we were there. What didn’t make sense was I was able to use a snack credit on one of the most fantastic burgers I’ve ever eaten and seared scallops there, but I couldn’t use a snack credit on the tired, been sitting for a while, bacon and egg bagel at my resort.

I didn’t run any marathons, but according to my health app, we walked 43 miles on Disney property. My feet were killing me, which is why the kids whining in strollers were pissing me off.
 

jnoble

Lingering longer for a longering linger
Sleep. I'm a big fan of sleep lately. I don't know why. All I want to do is sleep. Spare time on the weekends? Sleep. Chance to go to bed early during the week? Absolutely sleep. Upgraded my bed recently and it's heaven. More sleep, more happy.
Sorry to be the one to break the news to you but, ummm....I'm pretty sure you're dying.
(Wavy hand?)
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Sorry to be the one to break the news to you but, ummm....I'm pretty sure you're dying.
(Wavy hand?)
It’s old age, there are two types of old people, my mom, who not only won’t shut the fuck up, but doesn’t sleep, I knew many of them, then there’s me, there are times when I can fall asleep standing up, but, I only sleep for two or three hours at a time, then there’s days when I only sleep two hours.
I’m dying
 

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
It’s old age, there are two types of old people, my mom, who not only won’t shut the fuck up, but doesn’t sleep, I knew many of them, then there’s me, there are times when I can fall asleep standing up, but, I only sleep for two or three hours at a time, then there’s days when I only sleep two hours.
I’m dying
Must be old age setting in. Damn near 41. Wasn't like this in up to my late 30's. I'd much rather head to bed early than much of anything.
 
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DiggerNick

Well-Known Member
Donator
I had the enormous pleasure of explaining to a female co-worker today what coprophilia was.

Actually, It reminded me of the rumour many years ago that Mike Patton was a coprophile. The story went that he had a little wooden box with him all the time that had one of his turds in it, and he would snack from it throughout the day like it was a Snickers bar.
 

DiggerNick

Well-Known Member
Donator
I made one of my rare trips into society today and did some shopping. And over the store PA came, of all things, 'It's Raining Men'.

So, naturally, this instantly leaped into my mind...


I was grinning like a fool, I couldn't help it. I'm sure anyone who saw me thought I was reminiscing about taking long, stinky dong in my mouth and ass.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
Donator
Yes. It was real and it was fantastic.
I don't know what it is about hunting but something significant (not always good) happens. I've probably gone 20 times and this has all taken place....

-Rooster flew into telephone pole
-Guy shot rooster on the ground and his barrel blew up like a cartoon
-Two dogs shot
-One person shot
-One dog ran over and died
-Gun went off right next to my head in a surburban
-Multiple fights
-My husky being shot at by a farmer

I'm forgetting many more.
 

5skin

Registered User
Yes. It was real and it was fantastic.
How did it take to being caught?

I witnessed a guy jump on a wild turkey one time and it was displeased, very displeased. He started to raise it up by it's neck and feet before realizing what a bad choice he had made.
 

5skin

Registered User
I don't know what it is about hunting but something significant (not always good) happens. I've probably gone 20 times and this has all taken place....

-Rooster flew into telephone pole
-Guy shot rooster on the ground and his barrel blew up like a cartoon
-Two dogs shot
-One person shot
-One dog ran over and died
-Gun went off right next to my head in a surburban
-Multiple fights
-My husky being shot at by a farmer

I'm forgetting many more.
The fuk?!
I'm 50 and been going as long as I can remember, never had any of that stupid shit happen. Worst was a 12ga shell miss fire and go off as the chamber was racked. To be fair the gun was very loose from years of bashing beaver in the head.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
Donator
The fuk?!
I'm 50 and been going as long as I can remember, never had any of that stupid shit happen. Worst was a 12ga shell miss fire and go off as the chamber was racked. To be fair the gun was very loose from years of bashing beaver in the head.
Nice.
 
Friend of mine went hunting with his brother and another guy, they were walking in a triangle formation, guys brother at the back. It's about 15 degrees outside. Pheasant flies up, stupid brother shoots at it, my buddy catches a pellet on the earlobe. According to him it was extremely painful. Another time me and him were teasing his mom's cocker spaniel, it got really pissed and snapped at him, ended up biting him on the nipple. Again, according to him, very painful.
 
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