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New Company Policy -- Fucked, So Fucked

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by Off-White-Power, Apr 27, 2013.

  1. Off-White-Power

    Off-White-Power High maintenance, low tolerance

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    So the HR dept at work calls a last minute co meeting to say that everyone must meet these requirements made by the parent co (not insurance co) by August or be charged as follows. What are your thought? I think most of us here would be seriously screwed, I know I am.

    If you smoke: $600 a year
    If your spouse smokes: $1200 a year
    *we are already charged by ins extra for this

    If you do not meet 3 of the 4, another $600 per year for you and $1200 for spouse:

    1). BMI under 30 or lose 10% body weight per yr
    2). Sugar under 126 fasting 180 not fasting
    3). Cholesterol under 240
    4). Blood pressure under 140/70

    Btw this is a right to work state and the company has nothing to do with healthcare.
     
  2. fletcher

    fletcher Darkness always says hello.
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  3. Jacuzzi Billy

    Jacuzzi Billy Watching PTI
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    I'd stand up and pay my $600 right then and be done with it. Donuts and McD's the next day while I ask my boss for a raise.
     
  4. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    Lose weight and stop smoking.

    You bloated black lungers are dragging the rest of us down like the tubby wheezing boat anchors you are.
     
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  5. Off-White-Power

    Off-White-Power High maintenance, low tolerance

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    I disagree sir, it's the bitches who keep popping out babies in Sales, the guy with the Napoleon complex in Finance on his third DUI and in rehab, and the fatty pig fatty in engineering who had a quad bypass, that is costing the co more money than I am with my smoking ...
     
    lajikal likes this.
  6. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    Switch to one of them electronic nicotine things. You're no longer smoking.
     
  7. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    Yank the tubes out of the baby factories of the breeders in Sales, hand shorty in Finance a bottle of vodka and point his car towards a cliff, tie tubby in Engineering to a chair and stuff him full of spaghetti until he bursts, and you... stop delaying the inevitable and just inhale a quart of motor oil into each lung already.

    Jesus... what a bunch of disasters. Is the person who does the hiring TRYING to drive your company into bankruptcy?
     
  8. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

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    Can they force your spouse to take a medical test?
     
  9. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    If they want to be on the health insurance plan... yes.
     
  10. fletcher

    fletcher Darkness always says hello.
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    You can always sign up for a single plan. As long as you meet the criteria of course.
     
  11. weeniewawa

    weeniewawa it's a man, baby!!!

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    or get a government job

    have you seen those people?

    they are exempt
     
  12. Hate & Discontent

    Hate & Discontent Yo, homie. Is that my briefcase?

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    Depends on the government job...


    Sent from the USS Sulaco.
     
  13. Off-White-Power

    Off-White-Power High maintenance, low tolerance

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    They test for nicotine in your blood stream so this wouldn't work. Have together nic-free for six mths too.
     
  14. Off-White-Power

    Off-White-Power High maintenance, low tolerance

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    Actually, guy who does hiring is out now for a week after a heart attack lol
     
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  15. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    Damn... who do you work for? Ted's Sick and Dying Employees Emporium?
     
  16. Party Rooster

    Party Rooster Unleash The Beast

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    Damn! Fucker stole my likes!
     
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  17. TomC

    TomC uppity neobarb

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    Is it an urban legion that smokers cost the system less because WE die sooner and quicker than healthy people that live another 20 years and suck the medicare tit dry?
     
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  18. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    That is certainly true, but you generally wait until after you retire from work to politely drop dead. While you're alive and working, you human smokestacks are less productive workers because you're out sick more often and you're always taking breaks to feed your nicotine monkeys.

    You may cost "the system" no less than non-smokers... but you certainly cost "the employer" more with your smokey sickness and monkey-feeding shenanigans.
     
  19. TomC

    TomC uppity neobarb

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    Tried to quit last month with e-cigs, just made me want a real smoke. Oh well I can still get mine for around $3.50 a pack. cough-hack-cough
     
  20. Gorilla Pimp

    Gorilla Pimp Popped a molly i'm sweatin, WOO

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    People who bitch about other people smoking cigarettes are faggots. Tough break on your job though.
     
  21. Cunt Smasher

    Cunt Smasher Caligula Jr.

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    I agree, 100%.
     
  22. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    As long as you smokers obey the law and stand outside and smoke in the gutter like mangy mutts, I'm not going to bitch. Keep your noxious stench out of my face and I care not.

    I own stock in tobacco companies... so if you currently smoke a pack/day, I'd consider it a personal favor to me if you could go ahead and bump it up to two or better yet three packs/day.

    Smoke 'em if you got 'em... see if I give a care.
     
  23. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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  24. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    Bold strategy.
     
  25. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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    Being a skilled craftsman has its perks, I can be fat smoke, drink, I will just drop dead, since I have no healthcare anyway
     

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