New Company Policy -- Fucked, So Fucked

Off-White-Power

High maintenance, low tolerance
May 12, 2007
762
116
453
Shenandoah Valley, VA
#1
So the HR dept at work calls a last minute co meeting to say that everyone must meet these requirements made by the parent co (not insurance co) by August or be charged as follows. What are your thought? I think most of us here would be seriously screwed, I know I am.

If you smoke: $600 a year
If your spouse smokes: $1200 a year
*we are already charged by ins extra for this

If you do not meet 3 of the 4, another $600 per year for you and $1200 for spouse:

1). BMI under 30 or lose 10% body weight per yr
2). Sugar under 126 fasting 180 not fasting
3). Cholesterol under 240
4). Blood pressure under 140/70

Btw this is a right to work state and the company has nothing to do with healthcare.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
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Feb 20, 2006
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#2
Thanks, Obama.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
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Mar 22, 2006
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#3
I'd stand up and pay my $600 right then and be done with it. Donuts and McD's the next day while I ask my boss for a raise.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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#4
Lose weight and stop smoking.

You bloated black lungers are dragging the rest of us down like the tubby wheezing boat anchors you are.
 

Off-White-Power

High maintenance, low tolerance
May 12, 2007
762
116
453
Shenandoah Valley, VA
#5
I disagree sir, it's the bitches who keep popping out babies in Sales, the guy with the Napoleon complex in Finance on his third DUI and in rehab, and the fatty pig fatty in engineering who had a quad bypass, that is costing the co more money than I am with my smoking ...
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,714
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#6
Switch to one of them electronic nicotine things. You're no longer smoking.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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#7
I disagree sir, it's the bitches who keep popping out babies in Sales, the guy with the Napoleon complex in Finance on his third DUI and in rehab, and the fatty pig fatty in engineering who had a quad bypass, that is costing the co more money than I am with my smoking ...
Yank the tubes out of the baby factories of the breeders in Sales, hand shorty in Finance a bottle of vodka and point his car towards a cliff, tie tubby in Engineering to a chair and stuff him full of spaghetti until he bursts, and you... stop delaying the inevitable and just inhale a quart of motor oil into each lung already.

Jesus... what a bunch of disasters. Is the person who does the hiring TRYING to drive your company into bankruptcy?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,643
49,886
644
#8
So the HR dept at work calls a last minute co meeting to say that everyone must meet these requirements made by the parent co (not insurance co) by August or be charged as follows. What are your thought? I think most of us here would be seriously screwed, I know I am.

If you smoke: $600 a year
If your spouse smokes: $1200 a year
*we are already charged by ins extra for this

If you do not meet 3 of the 4, another $600 per year for you and $1200 for spouse:

1). BMI under 30 or lose 10% body weight per yr
2). Sugar under 126 fasting 180 not fasting
3). Cholesterol under 240
4). Blood pressure under 140/70

Btw this is a right to work state and the company has nothing to do with healthcare.
Can they force your spouse to take a medical test?
 

Off-White-Power

High maintenance, low tolerance
May 12, 2007
762
116
453
Shenandoah Valley, VA
#14
Yank the tubes out of the baby factories of the breeders in Sales, hand shorty in Finance a bottle of vodka and point his car towards a cliff, tie tubby in Engineering to a chair and stuff him full of spaghetti until he bursts, and you... stop delaying the inevitable and just inhale a quart of motor oil into each lung already.

Jesus... what a bunch of disasters. Is the person who does the hiring TRYING to drive your company into bankruptcy?
Actually, guy who does hiring is out now for a week after a heart attack lol
 

TomC

uppity neobarb
Aug 1, 2006
4,636
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Charleston, SC
#17
Lose weight and stop smoking.

You bloated black lungers are dragging the rest of us down like the tubby wheezing boat anchors you are.
Is it an urban legion that smokers cost the system less because WE die sooner and quicker than healthy people that live another 20 years and suck the medicare tit dry?
 

Creasy Bear

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#18
Is it an urban legion that smokers cost the system less because WE die sooner and quicker than healthy people that live another 20 years and suck the medicare tit dry?
That is certainly true, but you generally wait until after you retire from work to politely drop dead. While you're alive and working, you human smokestacks are less productive workers because you're out sick more often and you're always taking breaks to feed your nicotine monkeys.

You may cost "the system" no less than non-smokers... but you certainly cost "the employer" more with your smokey sickness and monkey-feeding shenanigans.
 

TomC

uppity neobarb
Aug 1, 2006
4,636
1,901
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Charleston, SC
#19
That is certainly true, but you generally wait until after you retire from work to politely drop dead. While you're alive and working, you human smokestacks are less productive workers because you're out sick more often and you're always taking breaks to feed your nicotine monkeys.

You may cost "the system" no less than non-smokers... but you certainly cost "the employer" more with your smokey sickness and shenanigans.

Tried to quit last month with e-cigs, just made me want a real smoke. Oh well I can still get mine for around $3.50 a pack. cough-hack-cough
 

Gorilla Pimp

Popped a molly i'm sweatin, WOO
Nov 2, 2009
3,269
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Mobile, AL
#20
People who bitch about other people smoking cigarettes are faggots. Tough break on your job though.
 

Cunt Smasher

Caligula Jr.
Aug 26, 2005
13,288
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#21
That is certainly true, but you generally wait until after you retire from work to politely drop dead. While you're alive and working, you human smokestacks are less productive workers because you're out sick more often and you're always taking breaks to feed your nicotine monkeys.

You may cost "the system" no less than non-smokers... but you certainly cost "the employer" more with your smokey sickness and monkey-feeding shenanigans.
I agree, 100%.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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#22
People who bitch about other people smoking cigarettes are faggots. Tough break on your job though.
As long as you smokers obey the law and stand outside and smoke in the gutter like mangy mutts, I'm not going to bitch. Keep your noxious stench out of my face and I care not.

I own stock in tobacco companies... so if you currently smoke a pack/day, I'd consider it a personal favor to me if you could go ahead and bump it up to two or better yet three packs/day.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em... see if I give a care.