New Wasp Found In Indonesia

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
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#1
geekologie.com

Terrifying New 2.5" Wasp Has Jaws Longer Than Legs

March 29, 2012 in discovery, flying, get it away from me, indonesia, insecets, man you wouldn't even be able to kill that with a newspaper -- it would take an ipad, new, note to self: cancel all future plans to visit indonesia, oh hell no, scary, terrifying, the things nightmares are made of

RETROACTIVE WARNING: Scary wasp picture above.
This is a new species of giant wasp discovered in Indonesia, effectively canceling my plans to ever visit the country. It grows over 2.5" long and has jaws longer than its legs. That...ain't right. Same goes for longer-than-leg genitals.
Lynn Kimsey, professor of entomology at the University of California, Davis, says 'Its jaws are so large that they wrap up either side of the head when closed. When the jaws are open they are actually longer than the male's front legs.'
'I'm going to name it Garuda, after the national symbol of Indonesia,' Kimsey said.
Garuda - known as 'King of Birds' - is a powerful mythical warrior that's part human and part eagle, boasts a large wingspan, martial prowess and breakneck speed.
'The large jaws probably play a role in defense and reproduction,' she said.
OMG -- my jaws play a roll in reproduction too! Get it? "Like licking nipples?" Well that too but I was gonna say like eating nachos off each other's bodies. "Con queso?" OF COURSE CON QUESO.




 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
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Feb 20, 2006
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jersey
#6
Holy nightmare fuel!
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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In a porn tree
#9
If that thing came anywhere near me, I'd scream like a girl and completely humiliate myself.
 

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
Jan 25, 2007
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Canada. Land of the Fat.
#11
If there was one of those in a room coming at me, and the room is also full of women and babies, I'm laying throat punches to get the fuck out of there
 

mills

I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness
Jan 30, 2005
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#12
New Wasp Found In Indonesia
Found where, Skull Island? Who the fuck just didn't notice them 'til now.
 

the Streif

¡¡¡¡sıʞunɹɹɹɹɹɹɹℲ
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Aug 25, 2002
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In a hot tub having a snow ball fight.
#15
Just one more reason to never step outside the boundaries of the walls that compose my home. Jesus fuck. The only thing I can think of is that thing sneaking up underneath my blanket at night, grabbing hold of one of my nuts with its jaws via the vas deferens, and proceeding to sting the ever loving shit out of one of my balls.


I hope you all sleep well.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
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#19
At first I was terrified, then I looked at chiapeteater's sig and was reassured. Get rid of that would you?
 
Aug 12, 2005
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#22
Fuck that. Just kill those fucking things. No use whatsoever.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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#23
Oooooooooooo. It's an elegant dinner party for the most elegant people in all of Jakarta!