New York Times review of The Hills

sbrainb

Go suck a bag of dicks.
Jul 27, 2007
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New York City
#1
Since this board is pretty much a sausage fest, I doubt most of you will give a shit about this. However, I hate The Hills and everything about it. When I read this article I almost puked because a) I can't believe the Times is actually dignifying this piece of shit with a review and b) they actually label one of the main skanks on the show as a "feminist hero."



March 24, 2008
Television Review | 'The Hills'
Career Climbing, With Claws Bared
By GINIA BELLAFANTE

The pseudo-improvised reality series “The Hills,” as it plays out beyond MTV, on tabloid covers and in nearly every other byway of the modern media, is above all a vicious decimator of hope. It mocks our hearts; it plays with our allegiances, and we welcome the abuse.

During its third season, which picks up again on Monday after a three-month hiatus, “The Hills,” set among young aspirants of the Hollywood Hills’ music and fashion industries, has continued to track the emotional warfare between former best friends Lauren and Heidi, while delving more deeply into the twistedness, gaslighting and superficiality of the boyfriends who ensure that the tortured rivals treat each other like Crips and Bloods. The show that looked, in all of its Antonioni-esque plotlessness and dreamy cinematography, at the ignominies of youthful friendship has turned toward the more conventional cruelties that good-looking playboys perpetrate on young women who wear low-rise pants and put on boots in warm weather.

Defying our expectations, Heidi has emerged as a kind of feminist hero this season, climbing her way to a bigger position at the event-planning company where she orchestrates Nascar parties, and refusing to acquiesce to the demands of her fiancé, Spencer, that she get herself home on time. Her career-mindedness sets their relationship off course. Heidi identifies the problem with no name: a boyfriend who sits around an apartment decorated to look like an ’80s video arcade while trying to deny Heidi a real wedding with the glory of registering. Her groundswell of self-assertion begins when he insists on eloping, prompting Heidi to declare, “This isn’t, like, Spencer’s relationship and you decide what we do.”

The full-on joyous Oprah-fication of Heidi culminates with the show’s return and gives “The Hills” a new momentum. After taking a break from Spencer at her parents’ modest house in Crested Butte, Colo., Heidi returns to Los Angeles to kick him out and chastises him for taking her flat-screen TV with him. How proud Gloria Allred would be.

And oh, what Lauren, her vulnerability hidden beneath her baroque moralism, could learn from Heidi right now. Lauren is pining for Brody, who, she has confessed, never makes her feel good enough. (Although we are led to believe that she could still have a chance with him, Us magazine has already told us no — reality squelching the suspense of mock reality.)

The theme of ambition permeates the new season, although it detracts not at all from the show’s canny sense that there’s no such thing as postadolescence: you’re a teenager until you start having biopsies and paying a mortgage. Lauren’s close friend and colleague Whitney, until now perhaps the best approximation of a Shakespearean mute that reality TV has ever produced, wants more out of life than serving as an assistant at Teen Vogue. She wants to be a stylist, and her boss, Lisa, helps her get a new job. (Lisa is the West Coast editor of Teen Vogue and the show’s most enigmatic figure because she allows herself to be shot close-up, her craggy skin contrasted with all those unspoiled 21-year-old complexions.)

By showing one short job interview Whitney has with the owner of a fashion-publicity company called People’s Revolution, “The Hills” captures the delusional self-seriousness of the fashion business better than any episode of “Project Runway.” “You’ll give up your life,” the owner tells her. Of course Whitney, Lauren and Heidi already have, and America has shown its gratitude.
 

SuperGolfer

I got it from a negro
Nov 6, 2004
4,461
701
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#2
"Antonioni-esque plotlessness?"
"Baroque moralism?"

This self-important reviewer cunt can eat a dick.
 

sbrainb

Go suck a bag of dicks.
Jul 27, 2007
1,244
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New York City
#3
"Antonioni-esque plotlessness?"
"Baroque moralism?"
I know. I hate these bitches who write for the arts section. I hate Alessandra Stanley the most. She's like the main TV writer. Since I work in TV, I read her drivel regularly and want to shove a remote up her ass.


This self-important reviewer cunt can eat a dick.
And also go suck a bag of dicks...
 

LilJimmyRbinson

Best muppet ever
Nov 19, 2004
11,417
7,547
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RI
#4
I've never seen that show, but I will have to tune in at least once to see how bitchy this girl is.

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3694

Bad news if you came here today expecting to judge the bikini contest, because it turns out Audrina Patridge wasn't even wearing one when she took these never before seen pictures as an audition for Playboy when she was just out of high school, long before her role on MTV's "The Hills" made her and BFF Lauren Conrad famous.
 

silentbob8201

Registered User
Jun 29, 2005
7,203
347
513
#5
I prefered laguana Beach where all the girls did was get there nails done and talk about boys and the boys did wacky things like dress up in gorrila outfits to impress the chickssssssssssss.
 

LilJimmyRbinson

Best muppet ever
Nov 19, 2004
11,417
7,547
586
RI
#6
I've never seen that show, but I will have to tune in at least once to see how bitchy this girl is.

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3694

Bad news if you came here today expecting to judge the bikini contest, because it turns out Audrina Patridge wasn't even wearing one when she took these never before seen pictures as an audition for Playboy when she was just out of high school, long before her role on MTV's "The Hills" made her and BFF Lauren Conrad famous.
Just a heads up, that link goes to some NSFW pictures.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
50,288
38,369
628
In a porn tree
#7
Here's how you could get me to watch ANY of the docudrama and "reality" dreck that MTV churns out...


 

Perch1019

Registered User
Oct 4, 2004
5,484
178
678
White Plains, NY
#8
That review really is awful. There is no reason any of those words should be used to describe that show. Those Audrina pics are pretty hot tho. She was right out of HS when she took them.
I read somewhere that Heidis job is also a load of shit and its just used to give her 'character' something to do all day. They cut some deal with Brent Boathouse to give him publicity or something.

Ill admit I have the show on my Tivo season pass and do check it out. Its so mindless and awful that I cant turn it off. Im obsessed with how dumb the blond girl Whitney is and when she interacts with other people, its really like shes completely disconnected from reality. Also its fun to notice how fake the show is. There was one point last season when they went to NYC they took a cab from JFK to their hotel and then 3 days later hailed the exact same cab.
 
Apr 14, 2003
4,056
0
0
Eastern MD
#9
It does make for easy fodder on The Soup, so I say keep it on the air. I don't even know what the channel number for MTV is, so I could give two shits what they decide to use their license for. As for a newspaper "reviewing" this dreck...isn't there a better use for their time and space?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
144,463
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#10
Heidi returns to Los Angeles to kick him out and chastises him for taking her flat-screen TV with him. How proud Gloria Allred would be.

And oh, what Lauren, her vulnerability hidden beneath her baroque moralism, could learn from Heidi right now.
On an O+A board, you guys don't get sarcasm? It's a terrible show she has to review so she's making fun of it with this exaggerated sense of importance.
 

Hate & Discontent

Yo, homie. Is that my briefcase?
Aug 22, 2005
15,799
1,350
693
#11
I've never seen that show, but I will have to tune in at least once to see how bitchy this girl is.

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3694

Bad news if you came here today expecting to judge the bikini contest, because it turns out Audrina Patridge wasn't even wearing one when she took these never before seen pictures as an audition for Playboy when she was just out of high school, long before her role on MTV's "The Hills" made her and BFF Lauren Conrad famous.
Oh dear lord. I could do without the overdone eye makeup in the ones of her wearing the skirt, but she is smoking hot.

Does anyone know of a way to get around that website's retarded measures to prevent you from saving that hotness?
 

SuperGolfer

I got it from a negro
Nov 6, 2004
4,461
701
658
#12
I know. I hate these bitches who write for the arts section. I hate Alessandra Stanley the most. She's like the main TV writer. Since I work in TV, I read her drivel regularly and want to shove a remote up her ass.




And also go suck a bag of dicks...

She's showing off that she went to college.

Big fucking deal.
 
Apr 14, 2003
4,056
0
0
Eastern MD
#13
Oh dear lord. I could do without the overdone eye makeup in the ones of her wearing the skirt, but she is smoking hot.

Does anyone know of a way to get around that website's retarded measures to prevent you from saving that hotness?
Firefox + NoScript -> right click on image -> view background image -> save!