Ok, how many of you think you could be a better Mob Boss


Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
than any of these dickheads on TV? Or even, with all respect, the fine gentlemen with no necks who are the leaders of Italian-American social clubs (with, of course, no illegal activity whatsoever)?

Idea: a split-away cell of specialized hitters. Nobody but the Boss and the consigliare knows who they are or how to contact them. You basically pay them to sit around on their asses for long lengths of time, maybe set them up with a business in some shit-hole town in the middle of nowhere, they live a nice, quiet life but spend time seriously training for shit to go down. Sniper fire, clearing a house, all that shit. Your "regular" wiseguys do NOTHING along those lines. They carry, but they legitimately carry ONLY for self-protection. Anybody who uses their guns for non-sanctioned reason are breaking orders and suffer accordingly.

No bullshit murders of waiters for the feds to pin on your guys, and your guys can't pin murders on you. Your specialized hitters don't have ANYTHING to get dirt on them. As far as LCN investigators go, they don't exist. It's just that enemies of yours, now and then, die in brutal and painful fashion.

Some dipshit wiseguy gets clipped for dealing drugs? He might be able to get drug charges against you, but he can't get murder charges against you.

It'll cost, yeah. It'll cost getting the business for your hitters set up in the first place (especially getting it to them "clean", so it can't be traced back to you), and you'll have to supplement their income, but once you get it going it's pretty self-perpetuating.

Hard-core ice-cold motherfuckers. Car bombs, sniper shots, house-clearings, the whole 9 yards. You DON'T offer their services for sale: that just means there's another way for someone to pin murders on you. These guys are purely in-house sanitation workers who take care of YOUR needs.


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I wouldn't have children so 70% of the dialogue in my final episode wouldn't be taken straight from the non-Pits in PCU.


Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
you know what you would love. www.mafialife.com
Nah. Those games are fun and all, but they're more about "living the life" within the pre-ordained boundaries of "the life". That's the very problem I see with these mooks: they're just following in the footsteps of Luciano and his ilk. There hasn't been an intelligent modification of the system since the formation of "the Commission" in Luciano's time.

They're still running under the Boss-Consigliare-Capo-Soldier pyramid, which hurts their flexibility, especially in the face of the Russian, Chinese, and Hispanic gangs that are making major inroads to the Italians' primary sources of revenue.

Intelligently restructure themselves. The BCCS pyramid from above meant that everyone from top to bottom pretty much knew everyone. Yes, that's one of the benefits to being in "The Family", but it also makes them all that much more vulnerable to being taken down by the feds. The feds get one informant in your family, and he can identify everybody and give the Feds a good idea of what each guy does.

Cell organization. One guy rats on his crew, just the crew goes down. You don't have to provide for the families of all the guys on the crew to keep them quiet: you just have to provide for the family of the captain of the crew because he's the only one who knows shit about anyone higher on the food chain from himself. Instead of having to have 40 guys you really trust, you only need 4.

You get one of your dirty cops to retire, and turn private eye. You set him up with his private dick business and keep him on a permanent retainer. You need to check up on somebody? You can do a full background check, cop style. Needless to say, you insulate him so he's "clean". Nothing that can be traced back to you. As far as anyone can tell, he's as clean as a whistle, typical Peeping Tom private dick.

You do REAL background checks on your guys. None of this Donnie Brasco, "this one really good guy vouches for him" shit, because that one really good guy could have been flipped by the feds. You honest-to-God background check the motherfucker. Pretend you're the FBI or something, and do deep background. Know who his high school girlfriend was and how long it took for him to cum. THAT kind of deep background. That's where the private eye comes in handy.

I'm not interested in living the Mafia life. I'm interested in reorganizing a fucking mess into something that can actually survive the 21st century. I'm OCD that way. Shit, I'd be perfectly happy if the FBI got rid of the mafia in Real Life, but the OCD part of me just gets frustrated when these dipshits make obvious fucking mistakes.