Pest Mission: Have an Inmate on Death Row's Last words be a Jimmy Norton line

SOS

Is alive.
Wackbag Staff
#1
Patrick Knight, a death row inmate in the Polunsky Unit in Texas. He has an execution date of June 26th 2007. In his own words

"I'll be enjoying my last days on this earth. I'm not asking for any pen pals but I am asking you to spread the word that I am holding a contest. I want people to send me thier best jokes, to keep me and the others with dates, laughing!"

The best joke, which will be determined by the inmates on death watch and will be recited in Patrick's "Last Statement". Hopefuly The Houston Chronicle and other media will print it. Instead of "Dead Man Walking" he will be "Dead Man Laughing".

send to: Patrick Knight
#999072 Polunsky Unit 3872 FM 350 S.
Livingston, Texas 77351
mysanantonio.com

Dead man laughing: A gallows humor contest on death row

Web Posted: 06/01/2007 10:41 PM CDT

Maro Robbins
Express-News

Have you heard the one about the dead man laughing?

Not every one will think it's funny, but one inmate with 24 days left to live is holding a humor contest in the grimmest section of Texas' death row, the cellblock for prisoners with scheduled execution dates.

"I want people to send me their best jokes, to keep me and the others with dates, laughing!" inmate no. 999072, Patrick Bryan Knight, wrote in a letter that has since been posted online at myspace.com/prisonuprise.

The Web site says 39-year-old Knight will tell the best gag — as judged by residents of the so-called "death watch" cell block — when he's on the gurney and making his last statement on June 26.

The MySpace profile, titled Dead Man Laughing, asks that jokes be mailed to Knight at the Polunsky Unit in Livingston, but more than two dozen have simply been posted online.

"A man went to prison for the first time," begins one bromide from "Jan," a 43-year-old woman from London.

Others, not surprisingly, poke fun at death....

"When you die and go to heaven, which part of your body goes first?" asks a nun in the gag offered by a South Carolina woman.

...and take aim at the legal system.

"Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?" quips another one posted by a woman with a brother on Ohio's death row. (Answer: To prevent attorneys from billing twice for the same service.)

Amarillo lawyer Warren L. Clark saw no humor in Knight's case when he served as the special prosecutor handling the inmate's appeals from Randall County.

"I saw a brutal double homicide is what I saw," Clark said.

Knight was convicted of holding his Amarillo neighbors, Walter and Mary Ann Werner, captive overnight and shooting them in the back of their heads the next day in a field.

Doreen Hawk, a Massachusetts death-penalty opponent, set up Knight's MySpace page after receiving his request by mail a couple months ago.

At first, it disturbed her that the convict was making a joke out of something as serious as capital punishment, especially when others like her were working hard to end executions.

But with time, she came to accept his gallows humor as a reasonable reaction to hopelessness.

"He knows they're going to do it," she said, "so he might as well go out laughing."

If he does, it would take to a new extreme the old show-biz motto: Always leave them laughing.

mrobbins@express-news.net
 

TallBaby

Unregistered User .
#2
I wanna hear him say the Vos line:

"I've never been politically correct.....even as a child. My teacher said sit Indian-style, so I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and sat by the curb."
 

Burger

Fuck ALL Forms of Censorship
#3
this execution stinks, and I dont like it
 
#4
I wanna hear him say the Vos line:

"I've never been politically correct.....even as a child. My teacher said sit Indian-style, so I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and sat by the curb."
HEE HEE I Forgot about that one. Hysterical I thought he Laid on the curb though.
:haha7:

I got Nuthin
 

Rangers484

Chia Obama, WTF?
#5
So who is going to volunteer to commit a capital crime so we can tell one of Lil Jimmy's jokes on death row?
 

Coffee Diva

Female? Nope. Meaty-breasted? You betcha!
#7
What, it shouldn't be "Your mom's box!"?
 

101

Registered User
#8
How about: "Two white guys walk into a bar. And they have a beverage."
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot in the Galaxy
#9
CSK: You know, guys are known to lose their bowels after dying. Just sayin'
 

skione

OA Fan From Way Back!
#10
Send a letter to the guy and explain "Your Mom's Box" and if he says it he would be foundly remembered by 28 million fans no matter what he did to get himself to where he is.
 

Rangers484

Chia Obama, WTF?
#11
Send a letter to the guy and explain "Your Mom's Box" and if he says it he would be foundly remembered by 28 million fans no matter what he did to get himself to where he is.
We can only hope he doesn't get pre execution jitters and forget the punch line.
 

CrewCab

Phillies Fan
#14
If the joke bombs will, Anthony have the "car crash" effect ready to go?
 

doppler

Just another bagger
#15
I can't believe nobody mentioned. Fruuuuunkiiiiis?
 
#16
Not to piss on this parade, but I could swear I heard somewhere that the guy doesn't want it to be dirty or offensive, which will make it a little bit harder to have it be a line from Jimmy.
 

weakside

He was stupid. I was lucky. I will visit him soon.
#17
On a side note:

"In January this year, Knight and approximately ten other inmates participated in a hunger strike at the Polunsky Unit in Texas to protest what he called the deplorable conditions the death row inmates endure. Knight was one of the last inmates to end the strike."

Worst protest ever. You don't have much of a bargaining chip when they are going to kill you anyway.
 

Plunkies

Registered User
#18
Not to piss on this parade, but I could swear I heard somewhere that the guy doesn't want it to be dirty or offensive, which will make it a little bit harder to have it be a line from Jimmy.
Ugh, we're in trouble if even our murderers are politically correct...:(
 
#19
He would then be the latest to incorrectly use the term "punching out" when it is already too late.
But if he's punching out due to forgetting the punchline (ei: moment of shameful silence followed by "Damn! Punching out!") is that not the correct usage?:icon_conf
 

blakesnake00

The name is Snake.
#21
I just saw this story on cnn.com ,kinda funny we gotta get this to Jimmy I hope he see this
 
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