Progressives angry about new "anti Obama" G.I. Joe Movie

KRSOne

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Dec 8, 2011
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#1
"G.I. Joe: Retaliation": The Anti-Obama Conservative's Fantasy


G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Paramount Pictures
115 minutes


G.I. Joe: Retaliation—sequel to American Classic G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra—is escapist filmmaking for the paranoid wingnut.

Before I get to why, let me just state for the record that Retaliation is no Battleship—which is to say it is not a coruscating beacon of unimpeachably fantastic moviemaking. Yes, they are both Hasbro movies; but this one lacks a certain joy and self-aware humor—even though it was written by the same guys who wrote Zombieland and Spike TV's The Joe Schmo Show. The brightest part of the movie is the fact that rapper/producer RZA * plays a blind ninja dojo master named Blind Master. (Click here to see RZA as a ninja-dojo-master action figure.) The film also has Channing Tatum, The Rock, North Koreans, Adrianne Palicki fighting North Koreans, and 3D visual effects.
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But the real draw is that this movie possesses plenty of amazing (but perhaps unintentional) political troll-power.

The crème de la crème of the G.I. Joe: Retaliation trollfest is that—as my colleague Tim Murphy points out—much of it doubles as a conservative anti-Obama fantasy. One of the bad guys (played by Jonathan Pryce) is the Democratic President of the United States, a foreign-born imposter who uses killer drones on American citizens overseas, and desires a world rid of nuclear weapons. As the movie trundles to its climax, the only thing that can stop him is a team of gun-toting insurgents, led by a politically incorrect Army veteran played by Bruce Willis who does nothing but hoard a large arsenal of assault weapons in his house.

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYONE???

There are many other instances of political trolling, featuring an array of targets. For instance, the villains orchestrate from behind the scenes a global summit to eliminate all the nukes. "[H]ere's the rare film to make an evil scheme out of global nuclear disarmament," as Scott Tobias writes at The A.V. Club. The film gives the finger to won't publicly admit to having a nuclear weapons program and has gone to great lengths—including drugging, kidnapping, and jailing a dissident—to continue to not acknowledge its existence.)

In one scene, a female G.I. Joe soldier crashes a White House gala, wearing a tight red dress and impersonating a Fox News reporter; the imposter president then quips that her media affiliation explains why her body looks so "fair and balanced." In one scene, a villain gleefully discusses torturing people, and says, "You know...they call it waterboarding—but I never get bored," which I can only assume is an homage to "I got soul, but I'm not a soldier," "I got ham, but I'm not a hamster," and "They call 'em fingers, but I never see them fing." Democratic political strategist James Carville has a speaking role in this film, which has to qualify as trolling of some kind. And the movie casually explodes London, taking with it centuries of culture, architecture, and over eight million souls; the death and destruction isn't mentioned even once after it happens, and nobody sheds a tear for London.

As you can plainly see, G.I. Joe: Retaliation takes its fair share of day trips to Troll City.
Now here's Retaliation's trailer dubbed in German:
 

d0uche_n0zzle

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Sep 15, 2004
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#4
They make these types of movies to sell cheap toys to children. Anyone who believes otherwise is delusional.
 

Hudson

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#7
You know it is from a dubious source when it calls "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" an American Classic.
 

MayrMeninoCrash

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Dec 9, 2004
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#8
Remember when Conservatives were all up in arms because GI Joe was replaced by a multi-national United Nations fighting force in the first movie? If I had to guess, the filmmakers are just trolling both sides of the political spectrum now.
 

Ballbuster1

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Aug 26, 2002
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#9
Almost enough to make me want to see this piece of shit. But not quite.
I'll watch it because I don't read anything into movies.
I watch them for entertainment value (and yes sometimes a lack there of)
and not for any deeper meaning. Plus I can't stand regular TV
any more. Reality tv sucks, sit coms are perdictable and not funny.
Other than some of the adult toons and sports I watch movies.
 

MayrMeninoCrash

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Dec 9, 2004
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#11
I'm just happy it's banned in Pakistan. Why? I have no idea.
If you're asking why the movie is banned, probably because the first half of the movie centers around capturing Pakistan's nukes and the Pakistani president being killed by "Snake Eyes".
 

Don the Radio Guy

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#13
Do they actually come out and say the evil president is a democrat or is it implied? That takes balls.
 

LiddyRules

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Jun 1, 2005
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#15
Kevin Spacey's character in House of Cards is a Democrat. and he's a backstabbing cunt who suicides people.
 

MayrMeninoCrash

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#17
Do they actually come out and say the evil president is a democrat or is it implied? That takes balls.
I'd say neither. Political affiliation was never a plot point. Since the "president" we see most of the time is actually Zartan in disguise, his decisions cannot really be used as a determination of whether he's left or right leaning.

Sorry for the spoiler Hudson ;)
 

Hudson

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#20
I'd say neither. Political affiliation was never a plot point. Since the "president" we see most of the time is actually Zartan in disguise, his decisions cannot really be used as a determination of whether he's left or right leaning.

Sorry for the spoiler Hudson ;)
Do we at least see Zartan as Zartan?
 

MayrMeninoCrash

Liberal Psycopath
Dec 9, 2004
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#23
ok...I guess there is a suspension of disbelief over the height difference between the two actors.
Zartan is infected with the nanomites so he can completely resemble whomever he wants. He "becomes" the President.
 

silentbob8201

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Jun 29, 2005
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#25
Well um it's not Obama, he's busy fucking up the US in the shitty Transformers movies.