Movie Rock To Star in Film Version of RAMPAGE Video Game

Bill Lehecka

The Fat Horse v. 2.0
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Dec 8, 2004
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I saw it. It was stupid. But what else do you expect from this film?

The submarines in the Chicago River line was guffaw worthy.

And I want to do terrible things to Malin Ackerman. I didn’t even realize she was in the movie because I’m not used to her as a brunette. Can’t miss those eyes, though.

Her brother was fucking terrible. Just an awful actor.

Why the hell did her office have a Rampage Arcade cabinet in it?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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Well that’s an interesting question. I’d probably have to rewatch zilla 99 or at least re-read the HitW. But from what I remember, this is worse. Or at least as bad.
But the leads in this are at least better or at least more charismatic than Broderick and the dip they saddled him with. Right? RIGHT?!?!?

But is there anyone as good as John Rhino?
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
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But the leads in this are at least better or at least more charismatic than Broderick and the dip they saddled him with. Right? RIGHT?!?!?

But is there anyone as good as John Rhino?
The Rock is the Rock, and the Rock has a presence and charisma that transcends his terrible, flat, wooden delivery of the cringe worthy dialogue they gave him. He truly is this generation’s Schwarzenegger/JCVD/Seagal
 

Stormrider666

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The Rock is the Rock, and the Rock has a presence and charisma that transcends his terrible, flat, wooden delivery of the cringe worthy dialogue they gave him. He truly is this generation’s Schwarzenegger/JCVD/Seagal
While I do agree with your assessment about the Rock, he might want to start thinking twice about what movies he says yes to. Especially if Rampage and Skyscraper wind up being financial duds.
 

Pigdango

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While I do agree with your assessment about the Rock, he might want to start thinking twice about what movies he says yes to. Especially if Rampage and Skyscraper wind up being financial duds.
Dude is making Black Adam. The word “no” is not in his vocabulary. And while Rampage looks like it may turn out to be a flop here in the states, it will make gobs of money overseas.
 

LiddyRules

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Dude is making Black Adam. The word “no” is not in his vocabulary. And while Rampage looks like it may turn out to be a flop here in the states, it will make gobs of money overseas.
But will you vote for him for President?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
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While I do agree with your assessment about the Rock, he might want to start thinking twice about what movies he says yes to. Especially if Rampage and Skyscraper wind up being financial duds.
Skyscraper is a movie made to lick the shoes of the Chinese box office.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
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When we doing what?
Rampage. I saw it today. When are we doing it? I'm good for whenever.

Please note that I forgot most of the long list of comments you made so if I'm reiterating things, that's why.

I am a big proponent of the Vouch system, but I knew this was going to be HitWorthy when The Rock was signing to George while George wasn't even looking at him (at the beginning).

That was 1990s bad.

I have to give acting credit to The Watchmen. Jeffrey Dean Morgan hammed it up so much that he was great. He was so delightfully hammy, I kept waiting for him to reveal himself as the villain. Every time he did a nice thing, all I could think was "okay, when does Jeffrey Dean Morgan finally betray them?" I was still expecting that throughout the end credits. (I was also expecting him to be a completely wasted Deathstroke's father.) But he didn't. It was fucked up. And don't get me wrong, I'm glad he didn't because he was the only good character in the movie.

Though I have to give some props to Malin Akerman as Evil Business Woman. Also great at completely hamming it up. There's a scene where she spouts off nonsense exposition (when they're going to the new antenna) that's just terrific with her sashaying about with all the EBW confidence she could muster. (And her wearing that stole at the end? Fabulous.)

Why set up the antenna in Chicago, a major city? Why not do it out in the sticks somewhere so it's less conspicuous that giant monsters are coming. I presume they own a lot of property across the world. There's a lot of farmland nearby. There was no reason to bring them to a city. It's even safer for them.

Was the company Wynn (or Wynett) or Energene?

I wondered how they'd get a monster to eat a big-tittied woman like in the game, and I guess that's how they pulled it off.

Why did she wait until the morning after the specimens landed on Earth to send a team to get them? Shouldn't they have been there within an hour?

I also liked her lackey because he kind of looked like Jonah Ryan from Veep, so I kept imagining him as Jonah Ryan from Veep.

What was the deal with the rat? I was expecting a sequel set up where the rat starts growing. Instead, it's just there.

The audience really seemed to like it though for whatever reason. I was sitting by a Cline who was "Wow!"ing at the action scenes and laughing at the Rock's "jokes?"

As for The Rock, he's not good being a guy who isn't supposed to be a nice guy. He's too charming for that. However, this movie had a similar problem as Baywatch did in that The Rock's character is completely violent, unreasonable, and dangerous. There's no reason for him to root for him and George. They're both monsters.

But I want to close this out by giving super special credit to Dr. Puffy and Dr. Pink, Dr. Rock's two assistants at the Primate House.
 

Pigdango

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Rampage. I saw it today. When are we doing it? I'm good for whenever.

Please note that I forgot most of the long list of comments you made so if I'm reiterating things, that's why.

I am a big proponent of the Vouch system, but I knew this was going to be HitWorthy when The Rock was signing to George while George wasn't even looking at him (at the beginning).

That was 1990s bad.

I have to give acting credit to The Watchmen. Jeffrey Dean Morgan hammed it up so much that he was great. He was so delightfully hammy, I kept waiting for him to reveal himself as the villain. Every time he did a nice thing, all I could think was "okay, when does Jeffrey Dean Morgan finally betray them?" I was still expecting that throughout the end credits. (I was also expecting him to be a completely wasted Deathstroke's father.) But he didn't. It was fucked up. And don't get me wrong, I'm glad he didn't because he was the only good character in the movie.

Though I have to give some props to Malin Akerman as Evil Business Woman. Also great at completely hamming it up. There's a scene where she spouts off nonsense exposition (when they're going to the new antenna) that's just terrific with her sashaying about with all the EBW confidence she could muster. (And her wearing that stole at the end? Fabulous.)

Why set up the antenna in Chicago, a major city? Why not do it out in the sticks somewhere so it's less conspicuous that giant monsters are coming. I presume they own a lot of property across the world. There's a lot of farmland nearby. There was no reason to bring them to a city. It's even safer for them.

Was the company Wynn (or Wynett) or Energene?

I wondered how they'd get a monster to eat a big-tittied woman like in the game, and I guess that's how they pulled it off.

Why did she wait until the morning after the specimens landed on Earth to send a team to get them? Shouldn't they have been there within an hour?

I also liked her lackey because he kind of looked like Jonah Ryan from Veep, so I kept imagining him as Jonah Ryan from Veep.

What was the deal with the rat? I was expecting a sequel set up where the rat starts growing. Instead, it's just there.

The audience really seemed to like it though for whatever reason. I was sitting by a Cline who was "Wow!"ing at the action scenes and laughing at the Rock's "jokes?"

As for The Rock, he's not good being a guy who isn't supposed to be a nice guy. He's too charming for that. However, this movie had a similar problem as Baywatch did in that The Rock's character is completely violent, unreasonable, and dangerous. There's no reason for him to root for him and George. They're both monsters.

But I want to close this out by giving super special credit to Dr. Puffy and Dr. Pink, Dr. Rock's two assistants at the Primate House.
It says a lot for how bad this movie is that we didn’t have much overlap in our lists. “1990’s bad” is a good one sentence review though.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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It says a lot for how bad this movie is that we didn’t have much overlap in our lists. “1990’s bad” is a good one sentence review though.
Here's something that made me REL.

When Captain Military is watching the live feed of George killing the Alligator and he says "My god." (or something like that) I imagined an associate saying "Sir, did you stop the air stri-" and then it immediately cuts to the montage of bombs exploding at the end of Dr. Strangelove. Not updated, not no song/new song - exactly the same.


Nothing else. That's how it ends.

Also as far as your ratings question goes, George does the penis in vagina finger motion. Why did that creep teach him that?

Also, I don't know much about how science works, but how come the cylinder carrying the antidote was so cold they had to wear gloves, but the antidote canisters within the cylinder could be handled by a bare hand?
 
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