Sam's Nightmare: Vince McMahon Presumed Dead

SOS

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Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
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From Wall Street Journal

thoughts and prayers go to the McMahon family...

June 12, 2007, 12:38 pm
Pro Wrestling Is Fake
Posted by David Gaffen

Tim Hanrahan, assistant managing editor of WSJ.com, also moonlights as pro wrestling correspondent, and he checks in with this report:

At most companies, the execution-style murder of the chairman might be cause for alarm. At World Wrestling Entertainment, these kinds of things happen all the time.

In a press release put out on Business Wire and also fed into the finance sites on Google and Yahoo (and WSJ.com’s company research pages), wrestling company WWE reported that last night, at the end of Monday Night RAW on USA Network, Chairman Vince McMahon entered his limousine when it suddenly exploded.

The press release adds: Although full details have not been disclosed, initial reports indicate that Mr. McMahon is presumed dead. An official investigation into Monday night’s events is currently underway … Throughout the night, people from Mr. McMahon’s past - from Donald Trump to Snoop Dogg to Bob Costas to Stone Cold Steve Austin - had less than flattering things to say about the WWE chairman, but would any go so far as to actually blow him up?

This is the latest piece of bad news for Mr. McMahon, who recently lost a proxy battle a proxy wrestling battle, that is with Mr. Trump, after which Mr. McMahon’s head was shaved. In midday trading, shares of WWE were down 25 cents, or 1.4%, to $17.45.










Milk Fish sticks pizza rolls
Memorializing Mr. McMahon
By Louie Dee
Written: June 19, 2007

Next Monday night, there will be a Mr. McMahon memorial service on a special three-hour Raw. All Superstars from Raw, SmackDown and ECW are required to attend.

With the investigation widening into Mr. McMahon’s demise, who else will be there? Just two weeks ago, there was quite a turnout for Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night, so one has to wonder if a Mr. McMahon memorial service will draw an even larger crowd.

Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night drew comments from such stars as Snoop Dogg, Bob Costas, Jackass star Steve-O and Donald Trump. Hall of Famers such as Jimmy Superfly Snuka, Bret Hitman Hart, Dusty Rhodes, Rowdy Roddy Piper and The Iron Sheik showed their appreciation as well, and Sheik himself just met with interim Raw boss Jonathan Coachman on Monday. Will any of these Legends or more of their fellow Hall of Famers be on hand?

No matter who shows up, all eyes will be on the possible attendance of four people. Of course, as his investigation into the Chairman’s tragic demise continues, investigator Daniel Beck may be on hand for the festivities. Most importantly, however, are the three people closest to the fallen Chairman: Linda, Shane and Stephanie McMahon.

On the last Raw, Stephanie made the family’s first public appearance since the tragedy. While she thanked the fans for their sympathy and promised vengeance on the culprit, the distraught and visibly grieving Stephanie was unable to hold her emotions together for very long. Neither Linda nor Shane have been seen or heard from since the tragic limo explosion; one would assume that all three will be there, but will they be in any condition to make a public appearance? Given Stephanie’s demeanor this past Monday, that’s a tough question to answer.

Tune in Monday night at the special time of 8/7 CT on USA Network to see just who comes to pay their respects to the Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment.

 

ginaf20697

Registered User
Jul 26, 2005
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I'm loving every minute of it.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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I have to say the way Sam spins every argument is brilliant and hysterical.
 

Plunkies

Registered User
Jun 28, 2006
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#7
I've got this idea that it's all just a set up and Vince isn't even dead. I know it's pretty out there, but what can I say, I'm a conspiracy theorist.
 

Nimrod

Registered User
Feb 15, 2005
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I never thought it would make the WSJ. Who else covered it?
 
Jun 29, 2005
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#11
I've got this idea that it's all just a set up and Vince isn't even dead. I know it's pretty out there, but what can I say, I'm a conspiracy theorist.
oh man, now that's crazy. weeeeoooowwweeeeeooooo the crazy mobile is here for Mr. Plunkies. craziest thing i ever heard. you're sick in the head
 

ringofhonor88

Opie's number 1 fan
Oct 29, 2006
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#12
I cant eat or sleep. I wish Vince was still here.
 

Hoffman

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#14
[Tony Danza] Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. [/Tony Danza]
 

SKEPTIC

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Nov 11, 2005
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That just reminded me of just how much I miss Owen Hart, Louie Spicolli and a whole slew of great entertainers. *sniffle*
 

skione

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Nov 17, 2005
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#19
I have to say the way Sam spins every argument is brilliant and hysterical.

I will agree that Sam IS doing a great job at this. He is making the bit.

I guess that is the bit; seeing Sam try to come with "legitimate" explanations for the fact the Vince staged his own demise.

I wonder how will he reappear?

I bet Vince will rise from the dead like Jesus.

Maybe that will spark the apocolypse for real? Wouldn't that be hysterical.

Vince rises from the dead the spark the apocolypse and the four horseman return to wrestling.
 

jimmyjimjimz

Wackbag's version of The Miz
Aug 12, 2005
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#20
I will agree that Sam IS doing a great job at this. He is making the bit.

I guess that is the bit; seeing Sam try to come with "legitimate" explanations for the fact the Vince staged his own demise.

I wonder how will he reappear?

I bet Vince will rise from the dead like Jesus.

Maybe that will spark the apocolypse for real? Wouldn't that be hysterical.

Vince rises from the dead the spark the apocolypse and the four horseman return to wrestling.
Actually, they were thinking about bringing back the four horsemen, but Arn Anderson can't do it, because he's not medically clear to wrestle.
 

MyMomsBox

Morality is temporary, wisdom is toast.
Aug 26, 2005
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#23
I work in the office building across the street from WWE headquarters. People are now starting to leave candles and shit out in front of the building. It amazes me how some people really believe this bit of crap.
 

SwimConnerSwim

O&A Token Midget
Feb 20, 2007
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#24
I work in the office building across the street from WWE headquarters. People are now starting to leave candles and shit out in front of the building. It amazes me how some people really believe this bit of crap.
I wouldn't put it past Vince to have hired people to do that. Meanwhile he is upstairs laughing his ass off.
 

CM Mark

The East is Ours!
Apr 13, 2005
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#25
I work in the office building across the street from WWE headquarters. People are now starting to leave candles and shit out in front of the building. It amazes me how some people really believe this bit of crap.
I may sneak down there late at night and put a nice pile of turds on the memorial thingie. :D