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I was surprised when Babica died they didn’t lay her out in the house but instead did the whole deal at the church, full mass, all in polish except for a few readings from the grand kids who were blasphemous for not learning polish.
Over the last few years I see that they don't open the coffin at the cemetery. There was that weird custom of placing it on the ground beside the grave and opening it for the last time. Last time I saw that was about 20 years ago. That was pretty creepy.
 

tattered

Uber-Aryan
Wackbag Staff
Lately, I even found three of those things:

There was a crazy collection of pictures there, including I think the last pictures of my grandfather before his untimely death (he Jimi Hendrixed) and the very last pictures of grandma and grandfather being together. There were also a whole bunch of pictures of some super ugly dead guy with open mouth. I love my family and the shit they take pictures of.
Took a bunch of sleeping pills and shot smack because its a day that ends in Y?
 

tattered

Uber-Aryan
Wackbag Staff
Grandpa got drunk and collapsed on his back, and then choked on his own vomit.
I was close enough. I had that almost happen once. Got blackout drunk and passed out in the bathroom face down so my bff thought it was a good idea to drag me to the livingroom and put me on the couch on my back. Started projectile vomiting in my sleep. Luckily i woke up mid heave and sat up or i would of choked on it.

Yeah yeah i know damn shame.
 

HandPanzer

Shantih Shantih Shantih
I was close enough. I had that almost happen once. Got blackout drunk and passed out in the bathroom face down so my bff thought it was a good idea to drag me to the livingroom and put me on the couch on my back. Started projectile vomiting in my sleep. Luckily i woke up mid heave and sat up or i would of choked on it.

Yeah yeah i know damn shame.
Using the term "bff" was the most upsetting aspect of the story.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Over the last few years I see that they don't open the coffin at the cemetery. There was that weird custom of placing it on the ground beside the grave and opening it for the last time. Last time I saw that was about 20 years ago. That was pretty creepy.
I caught shit from aunt Judy because I didn’t force my 6 year old kid up to the open coffin so he could kiss her goodbye
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
I like to pry the eyes open when no one is looking.
My gimmick is walking up like I'm going to pray respectfully, and say my last goodbyes, but then I wind up and kick over the casket.

Crash, bang, and the body comes spilling out on the floor. It's a hoot.
 
I caught shit from aunt Judy because I didn’t force my 6 year old kid up to the open coffin so he could kiss her goodbye
Ew. I wouldn't let my kids touch corpses.

When we were burrying my great-grandmother, we came to the chapel to see the open coffin and say bye-bye (stare at the caved eyesockets and broken fingers, because somehow you can't wait till after rigor mortis goes away to put the rosary in their hands), the chapel had several family members in it, and as we were praying, my brother pushed me towards the corpse and yelled "she's waking!". So yeah, my brother likes to put the FUN in FUNeral.
 

SatansCheerledr

Ideologically Unsound
Ew. I wouldn't let my kids touch corpses.

When we were burrying my great-grandmother, we came to the chapel to see the open coffin and say bye-bye (stare at the caved eyesockets and broken fingers, because somehow you can't wait till after rigor mortis goes away to put the rosary in their hands), the chapel had several family members in it, and as we were praying, my brother pushed me towards the corpse and yelled "she's waking!". So yeah, my brother likes to put the FUN in FUNeral.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
I like to pry the eyes open when no one is looking.
Lol, would you believe me if I told you that my grandma used to do hair and makeup for an undertaker? And that there are no eyes but glass / plastic balls that are shoved in the holes and they are superglued shut?
 

HandPanzer

Shantih Shantih Shantih
I know when my grandpa died we had an open casket funeral. It was nice. We all formed a line--not unlike a conga line--and proceeded to tenderly place our tongues in his mouth in an orderly fashion.
 

jnoble

Lingering longer for a longering linger
Everytime I see a promo for the This Is Us show and they show the fat lady who plays the fat lady I make "oink oink!" piggy noises
 

Shootr

OOHHH, GNARLY!!!
Donator
Lynette Nusbacher - you are not an attractive transvestite (or whatever the fuck you're going for...)
 

ysr50

Well-Known Member
Donator
When I was a very young boy I thought hummingbirds didn't have legs, I figured they must hover so they could land on their belly when they got tired. Then one day I saw one land, MIND BLOWN!!!!
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Fumbled a night with a new girl on every level. Wasn't a good date, said all the wrong things, had to jump the truck after dinner because I left the dome light on, she still went home with me, I fucked her poorly, there was absolutely no chemistry... etc etc.

I would trade a dozen perfect encounters with girls out of my league for nights like this. They are so fucking entertaining.
 
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