Summer Movies 2012 – 5 Page Preview

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
644
#2
I want to see Avengers aaaaaaaaaaaaaand The Dictator aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Prometheus aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Spider-Man aaaaaaaaaaaaaand The Dark Knight Rises aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Total Recall aaaaaaaaaaaaaand maybe Neighborhood Watch.

Actually, summer next year looks kind of gay. Wonder who'll be the first caller to go "I was watching a movies, and saw a commercial for a movie called Ted and it reminded me of you little Jimmy." *show grumble grumble grumble* *Travis says it's made by Seth MacFarlane* *Suddenly it becomes the greatest movie ever created*
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
328
#3
I'll go see Prometheus. But that's about it.
 

blee

Will Drink Today
Dec 9, 2004
721
#4
I want to see Avengers aaaaaaaaaaaaaand The Dictator aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Prometheus aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Spider-Man aaaaaaaaaaaaaand The Dark Knight Rises aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Total Recall aaaaaaaaaaaaaand maybe Neighborhood Watch.

*
You'll see nothing and like it.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
788
#5
I don't see why you need 5 pages. There's only one movie coming out next year that matters. I guess you could put a description on Page 1 and then just put pics of Scarlet Johanssen's ass on the next 4 pages.

Edit - I didn't think anything could make Spiderman seem less appealing than it already did. There is literally nothing in this paragraph that doesn't fill me with rage. I'll highlight all the words and phrases that make my fandango-sense tingle

Spider-Man gets a slightly uncalled for reboot that takes him back to high school. 27-year-old Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) is the new Peter Parker and Mary Jane is nowhere to be seen, replaced by Gwen Stacey (Emma Stone). This time Spider-Man has to face down against the Lizard (Ifans) and the “Proto-Goblin,” (Khan) a test subject of Norman Osborn’s experimentations. Martin Sheen is Uncle Ben, who presumably has to be shot dead again. The director of 500 Days Of Summer takes over from trilogy director Sam Raimi. They’re also going for a much lower budget, so expect more character work, less morphing sand.
I know some folks will see it out of a weird sense of obligation. But does anyone want to see it? For real?

And I guess I do want to see that Non Prequel Non Alien Kind of Alien Kind of Prequel Alien Prequel. And I'll see the Dark Knight to finish the series, but I actually do agree with Fezzie that leaving the Riddler out and putting Bane in is a puzzling move that will really make it tough for them to keep the realism they've striven so hard for.

One more edit - Anyone that sees Total Recall should be shot and killed. Anyone that doesn't see the Expendables 2 should be arrested for treason.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
644
#6
What's wrong with Emma Stone? I also don't get your beef with and and 27 year olds. But fuck again. Piece of shit.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
788
#7
What's wrong with Emma Stone? I also don't get your beef with and and 27 year olds. But fuck again. Piece of shit.
Emma Stone is hot as fuck, but not as a blond, and she just can't pull off Gwen Stacey the way she was portrayed in the comics.

My beef with "And" is that if you're doing a character driven piece, which they say they are, cluttering it up with multiple Bad Guys probably won't be a good idea. So ANY second bad guy is a bad idea. The "Proto-Goblin" or whatever the fuck that is supposed to be just sounds awful. If you have to do a goblin and you don't want to do the fucking Green Goblin. Do the god damn mother fucking Hobgoblin and be done with it.



My beef with 27 year olds playing 17 year olds should be obvious, but if more explanation is necessary:

[yt]wP0apJCugzo[/yt]

And fuck "Again" because we've seen Uncle Ben get shot and killed.

Unless you think the director of 500 days of summer is going to pull something like this off, which was a huge improvement over the original "Dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight" nonsense:

[yt]VP4KLs_1G6I[/yt]
 

CousinDave

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
393
#9
I so wanted to see Sam Rami's Lizard

Aside from those 1st couple of McFarlane issues of Amazing Spider-Man, I've always hated Venom
While I liked the black costume, I hated the symbiote living alien costume thing

Aliens, supernatural, & mutants with god like powers make for lazy & uncreative writing
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
643
#11
As much as it pains me to say this...

I'll be seeing MIB 3

I knoowwww I knowwwww. It's just for nostalgia. I know it will be shit. But I want to see it for the shit that it is.
 

DR. Jimcy M.E.

I bring love and cheer.
Dec 12, 2007
493
#12
As much as it pains me to say this...

I'll be seeing MIB 3

I knoowwww I knowwwww. It's just for nostalgia. I know it will be shit. But I want to see it for the shit that it is.
Tommy Lee Jones must be hurtin for cash.
 

Stormrider666

Hell is home.
Mar 19, 2005
673
#13
I don't see why you need 5 pages. There's only one movie coming out next year that matters. I guess you could put a description on Page 1 and then just put pics of Scarlet Johanssen's ass on the next 4 pages.

Edit - I didn't think anything could make Spiderman seem less appealing than it already did. There is literally nothing in this paragraph that doesn't fill me with rage. I'll highlight all the words and phrases that make my fandango-sense tingle



I know some folks will see it out of a weird sense of obligation. But does anyone want to see it? For real?

And I guess I do want to see that Non Prequel Non Alien Kind of Alien Kind of Prequel Alien Prequel. And I'll see the Dark Knight to finish the series, but I actually do agree with Fezzie that leaving the Riddler out and putting Bane in is a puzzling move that will really make it tough for them to keep the realism they've striven so hard for.

One more edit - Anyone that sees Total Recall should be shot and killed. Anyone that doesn't see the Expendables 2 should be arrested for treason.
Even after seeing Andrew Garfield's performance in The Social Network, I still have no desire to see the new Spider Man movie.

Lock me up for treason then. After the first Expendables, I have no desire to see that movie either.
 

DR. Jimcy M.E.

I bring love and cheer.
Dec 12, 2007
493
#14
Even after seeing Andrew Garfield's performance in The Social Network, I still have no desire to see the new Spider Man movie.
I love comics but with the way some studios choose to portray certain characters in over complicated, character heavy (when characters have no reason to be in the movie) versions that don't make any sense I rather they just stay in the comics. I dont think spiderman needs to be remade so soon either. Hes bitten by a spider and gets powers, you need a new origin story to sum that up? You can wiki his fucking story, just make a spiderman movie.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
644
#15
Emma Stone is hot as fuck, but not as a blond, and she just can't pull off Gwen Stacey the way she was portrayed in the comics.
Have you seen any of her performance? Do you even know their take on Gwen Stacey?

As for complains about AND and AGAIN I tried to make it sound like you had a problem with those words irrespective of what they were referring to.

Do the god damn mother fucking Hobgoblin and be done with it.

Why did Spidey's sense not go off when what's his face attacked him from behind? Still love Woodhouse.


Unless you think the director of 500 days of summer is going to pull something like this off, which was a huge improvement over the original "Dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight" nonsense:

[yt]VP4KLs_1G6I[/yt]
When it was announced that Webb was directing, I expressed my displeasure. It's a gigantic and possibly career retarding leap to go from one small romantic comedy to mega-budgeted action franchise. And the teaser didn't really give me a sense of why this is different from the Raimi films.

Also the Expendables sucked, and I can't see any reason why to bother with Expendables 2.
 
Jun 2, 2005
0
#16
My step-brother posted this on Facebook a few days ago:

I cant stress enough how bad apollo 18 was. The rocks on the moon are actually transformer crabs, nobody escapes. I just saved you ten bucks.
Just in case you were curious.
 

DR. Jimcy M.E.

I bring love and cheer.
Dec 12, 2007
493
#17
Why did Spidey's sense not go off when what's his face attacked him from behind? Still love Woodhouse.
Venom? His spidersense doesn't work on the symbiote suit because it evolved a way to bypass it when it was attached to him for a while. Thats in the comics atleast.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
644
#19
Venom? His spidersense doesn't work on the symbiote suit because it evolved a way to bypass it when it was attached to him for a while. Thats in the comics atleast.
He wasn't Symbiote Spider-Man yet. And I was referring to Harry Osbourne, hence my Woodhouse comment.
 

DR. Jimcy M.E.

I bring love and cheer.
Dec 12, 2007
493
#20
He wasn't Symbiote Spider-Man yet. And I was referring to Harry Osbourne, hence my Woodhouse comment.
Ah ok had to google it, Warren Woodhouse. I know very little actors by name. My bad.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
644
#21

[yt]vEs00TxlWL4[/yt]
Who the fuck is Warren Woodhouse?
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
643
#23
At this point I have no fucking idea.... Soooooooo Men in Black 3? Yeah I'll watch it on netflix...... I stink.
I knew I couldn't be alone on this one. MIB is one of those silly movies you just have to watch whenever it's on, no matter how much it stinks.
 

DR. Jimcy M.E.

I bring love and cheer.
Dec 12, 2007
493
#24
I'm a sucker for Tommy Lee Jones. Will Smith when hes not doing a soft shoe and shucking and jiving around the movie set hes pretty decent. "Awww hell naw!" Lines like that make my stomach turn in knotts.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
643
#25
I'm a sucker for Tommy Lee Jones. Will Smith when hes not doing a soft shoe and shucking and jiving around the movie set hes pretty decent. "Awww hell naw!" Lines like that make my stomach turn in knotts.
It just be rainin' black folk in New Yoke