Tabloid Gets "Angry"

SOS

Is alive.
Wackbag Staff
#1
Weekly World News.com



AND NOW A WORD FROM YOUR OLD FRIEND ED ANGER:

I've had enough of this free web crap. When I was a kid, the only thing we got for free was a beating.

So I want all you deadbeats to start buying the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS this week and I MEAN NOW! Get in your broken down jalopy or on your stolen schwinn and get to a retailer that sells this truth laden periodical and shell out some cabbage. Stealing won't help, as we need to get sales recorded for statistical purposes. plus we have an unusual stomach condition - we have to eat every goddammed day! SO LET’S GO. Take the money from your sleeping roommate. Sell your VCR. Whatever it takes. If we don't see you buying this incredible newspaper - NO MORE WEBSITE! Think we're kidding. Come down here and I'll show you how much I'm kidding? IT’S BETTER ON PAPER ANYWAY. We kill three hundred thousand trees a year just so our loyal readers can take this fun publication to their bathrooms. YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR BATHROOM? HA! I DIDN’T THINK SO.



Let's not PISS OFF Ed any more than he already is. Here's a picture of this week's issue so you know what to look for.
 
Top