Talking to Animals

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,028
1,380
643
#1
This is a faggy question but don't you dare deny your guilt.

What kind of wacky/stupid/gibberish rhetoric do you use with animals? Do you talk to your pets in a special way?

I kind of have a Tim Allen Home Improvement grunt thing going on when I talk to my dog.
 

Psychopath

Plata O Plomo
Dec 28, 2008
17,715
3,352
393
hell
#2
It's a higher pitched version of my voice.
 

Absolutely

Self-Heavy
Jan 25, 2006
33,637
4,413
578
Saint Louis
#3
I talk to our two cats all the time. Me and my brother have full on discussions about fantastical things the cats do.
Like today, the one cat was sitting on my guitar bag. So there was a daily thing about how he's a homeless musician cat, and how he's on tour, etc etc.

How he has book club meetings with other cats while we're gone. No drugs involved...

The other cat I talk to a lot, and she'll chirp back to me. Just stupid shit, like "You looking for birds? What do you see, a bird, you're gonna get that bird!"

They seem to enjoy the attention and talking
 

JoeyDVDZ

That's MR. MOJO, Motherfucker!
Aug 20, 2004
29,001
5,652
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#5
Yup. Three of my cats are talkers. One just likes to get petted, doesn't say much.
 
Jun 2, 2005
15,516
4
0
Dallas
#6
My dog has two names... When he stops responding to Maxx, I call him Ass Hole and he starts listening again.

I know what you're going to say, but we've tested it with different tones of voice, and it really is the words Ass Hole that make him snap to.
 

Dicktator

I need a Vacation
Feb 11, 2006
3,806
977
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Michigan
#7
I only use a different voice when the dogs are talking to the kids or wife. And my dogs are retarted when i talk for them.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
Donator
Mar 22, 2006
42,212
21,841
628
Red Jacuzzi
#8
I probably have 30 nicknames for my dog. I haven't called him his real name in years. I called him OC (short for Offensive Coordinator) for a few years when my friend and I used to have serious Madden battles and I would ask my dog for some help calling plays.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
40,304
7,454
438
The Inland Empire State
#9
We have two cats and one is a talker. She'll have a 5 minute conversation with you if she's in the right kind of mood.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,614
49,864
644
#10
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[yt]YpBPavEDQCk[/yt]

"Good lord! Dr. Doolittle is Chief Wiggum!"
"This bird's gonna fly!"
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,144
9,437
768
#12
i talk to my dogs all the time, not so much with dizzy my token gift to my ex wife, but duncan and DOC wow we solved the woes of the world. poor DOC got to hear all of my ill's after my wife moved out, poor dog. duncan, he just follows commands and occasionally gets a diatribe from me.
 

Psychopath

Plata O Plomo
Dec 28, 2008
17,715
3,352
393
hell
#13
I forgot to mention I have a shitload of different nicknames for my dog. I also have a stupid song in my head I'll change the lyrics to be dog oriented shit and sing it to her. She wags her tail when I do that. Jesus, am I weird.
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
Jan 23, 2006
10,385
419
243
Land of hicks and rubes.
#14
My boxer Blutto has a retard voice and can't say any words that start with an "L". He also calls me daddy and my wife mommy.
My cat Freeway sounds just like Uncle Paul. i started doing the Uncle Paul voice because he has a habit of stealing my wife and daughters dirty panties and then rolling around in them. He will sit and sniff them and drool. So I do the creepy "I love the smell of your little underpants" my wife is not amused. He also turns into angry Uncle Paul when said underpants are taken away.
 

LiLJimmysHog

Professional negative prick
Dec 18, 2005
1,228
186
498
#16
I have conversations with one of our dogs about his gambling problems.