Talking to Animals

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
#1
This is a faggy question but don't you dare deny your guilt.

What kind of wacky/stupid/gibberish rhetoric do you use with animals? Do you talk to your pets in a special way?

I kind of have a Tim Allen Home Improvement grunt thing going on when I talk to my dog.
 

Psychopath

I want to fuck your girlfriend.
#2
It's a higher pitched version of my voice.
 
#3
I talk to our two cats all the time. Me and my brother have full on discussions about fantastical things the cats do.
Like today, the one cat was sitting on my guitar bag. So there was a daily thing about how he's a homeless musician cat, and how he's on tour, etc etc.

How he has book club meetings with other cats while we're gone. No drugs involved...

The other cat I talk to a lot, and she'll chirp back to me. Just stupid shit, like "You looking for birds? What do you see, a bird, you're gonna get that bird!"

They seem to enjoy the attention and talking
 

JoeyDVDZ

Well-Known Member
Donator
#5
Yup. Three of my cats are talkers. One just likes to get petted, doesn't say much.
 
#6
My dog has two names... When he stops responding to Maxx, I call him Ass Hole and he starts listening again.

I know what you're going to say, but we've tested it with different tones of voice, and it really is the words Ass Hole that make him snap to.
 

Dicktator

I need a Vacation
#7
I only use a different voice when the dogs are talking to the kids or wife. And my dogs are retarted when i talk for them.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
Donator
#8
I probably have 30 nicknames for my dog. I haven't called him his real name in years. I called him OC (short for Offensive Coordinator) for a few years when my friend and I used to have serious Madden battles and I would ask my dog for some help calling plays.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
#9
We have two cats and one is a talker. She'll have a 5 minute conversation with you if she's in the right kind of mood.
 

LiddyRules

The 9/11 Moon Landings Were An Outside Job
#10
Cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie

[yt]YpBPavEDQCk[/yt]

"Good lord! Dr. Doolittle is Chief Wiggum!"
"This bird's gonna fly!"
 

Jacuzzi Billy

Watching PTI
Donator
#11
Cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie cookie
Kiss
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
#12
i talk to my dogs all the time, not so much with dizzy my token gift to my ex wife, but duncan and DOC wow we solved the woes of the world. poor DOC got to hear all of my ill's after my wife moved out, poor dog. duncan, he just follows commands and occasionally gets a diatribe from me.
 

Psychopath

I want to fuck your girlfriend.
#13
I forgot to mention I have a shitload of different nicknames for my dog. I also have a stupid song in my head I'll change the lyrics to be dog oriented shit and sing it to her. She wags her tail when I do that. Jesus, am I weird.
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
#14
My boxer Blutto has a retard voice and can't say any words that start with an "L". He also calls me daddy and my wife mommy.
My cat Freeway sounds just like Uncle Paul. i started doing the Uncle Paul voice because he has a habit of stealing my wife and daughters dirty panties and then rolling around in them. He will sit and sniff them and drool. So I do the creepy "I love the smell of your little underpants" my wife is not amused. He also turns into angry Uncle Paul when said underpants are taken away.
 

LiLJimmysHog

Professional negative prick
#16
I have conversations with one of our dogs about his gambling problems.
 
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