The Art of Woke Satire (Godfrey Elfwick, Titania McGrath, et al.)

SKEPTIC

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

An upcoming more politically correct remake of classic Christmas program Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer will have Rudolph immediately sue Santa for discriminating against the color of his nose.

The exciting film will follow the story of Rudolph's uphill court battle against the ultra-privileged bigot Santa Claus and his accomplices.

According to insiders, the epic climax of the film will show Santa Claus losing the court case and his business. He'll then be sent to a North Pole gulag for "re-education" at the hands of tiny secret police elves.

Other changes have been made as well. Prospector Yukon Cornelius will no longer sing about oppressive capitalistic commodities like silver and gold, but will rather belt out a charming tune about food stamps and bread lines. In a particularly bloody sequence, the toys living on the Island of Misfit Toys will rise up in violent revolution and slaughter hundreds of elves with a guillotine.

"Overall, this is a much more woke take on Rudolph," wrote a Huffington Post critic after seeing an early screening. "Rudolph will rise up and overthrow his prejudiced oppressors, as should have happened all along."

"Finally, a Rudolph film for the whole family," the early preview concluded.
 

SKEPTIC

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Only problem with that video is that the students would be ever more triggered than the professor.
that video was made in 2015.

from the comments on YT:

Damn, in 2019 and this isn't comedy anymore. It's a documentary.
It's 2019 and this video made from 2015 is more real than ever.
This was in 2015. We thought they were exaggerating. We thought society would never reach this level. We're in 2018 and it's a lot worse.
Wow 2019 and seriously this now real life
 

SKEPTIC

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
It was named for the tragic time period when slave owners would lynch all of their unsold slaves so they didn't have to buy them Christmas presents
Actually "Black Friday" was the day of the year when slaves would be sold for discount prices. Slave sellers had discovered that the absolutely best time to sell slaves was the day after gluttonous Americans had gorged themselves on their annual turkey slaughter feast, which they perversely called "Thanksgiving," a holiday which celebrates the genocide of the Native Americans.
 
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