The Ultimate Handgun.


as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
ahhh the glock 18, its a shame that the US government has stomped on the constitution once again and doesn't allow law abideing citizens to own one.


Registered User
Holy Shit Nice
But I do much rather prefer injuring people with my hands :icon_mrgr

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Holy Shit Nice
But I do much rather prefer injuring people with my hands :icon_mrgr
thats because you have two waffle irons attached to your wrists. :action-sm

i have Voss like hands. that gun would be awesome.


Satellite Of Hate
Harken all ye sinners. Repent, go to your local gun dealer, kneel and spake "Forgiveth me John Moses for I have sinned..."

PSALM 19:11

1. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.

2. And shouldst thou muck with it, and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.

3. And as the ages passed, men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

4. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.

5. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the Great Battle.

6. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunctions to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

7. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

8. And being a deceitful spirit, the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did appear to function.

9. And the Evil One also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.

10. But man, being stupid, did not understand these new pistols and didst proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol and with the trigger-cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continue to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

11. And when man had been totally ensnared with the plastic pistol, the lord of the Underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible "Ka-Boom" to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

12. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men, they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.

13. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.


as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
i accept my damnation to hell for all of eternity for my following of the lord Gaston, and his combat tupperware :bow:


There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum.
I think Ant is drooling.


Registered User
There's not really any 'ultimate' handgun, as there's so many different users requiring lots of varying qualities for different situations.

I have the ultimate handgun. In terms of pure absurd foot-pounds of muzzle force. I'd be very surprised if anyone has a more uselessly powerful one.

No pics, so I guess I got to go take one and upload it..


as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
my buddy has one chambered in 30/30, the fucking thing like to blow my god damn hand off, and correct about certain weapons having there uses a had gun is a last chance weapon, i would rather have a UMP or UZI with a collapsible stock for a full auto / 3 round burst concealable weapon, than a G18, dont get me wrong i would give my left nut for one, but from a tactical standpoint a nice .45 (maker of your choice) is your best bet for a hand gun.


There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum.
I miss my Colt 45. It was a perfect fit for my hand .... FU NYC!