Time Traveler Attacks Cern

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
Jan 25, 2007
16,642
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Canada. Land of the Fat.
#1
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/man...collider-claims-hes-from-the-future-49305387/

story said:
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
...
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
15,949
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#2
Look out Liddy, he's stealing your communist bit.
 

Owenay

Those who fail to learn from history are doomed...
May 10, 2007
3,666
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Bizarro World
#3
But what about the Army of the 12 Monkeys? And look, his name is Cole too! Maybe it IS real!


Looking at the guy I think Crispin Glover should play him in the movie.
 

Ballbuster1

In The Danger Zone...
Wackbag Staff
Aug 26, 2002
103,805
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Your house, behind the couch
#7
You do know this story is fake, right? It's an April fools joke from 2 years ago.
Well duh! A time travel device that resembles a blender? (Mr Fusion anyone?)
Kit Kats for all and a chocolate commie hell hole? Obviously fake story is so fake.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
143,288
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#12
This story is so ridiculous that Kirk is using it as proof of Hitler.