Time Traveler Attacks Cern

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.

story said:
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."


Those who fail to learn from history are doomed...
But what about the Army of the 12 Monkeys? And look, his name is Cole too! Maybe it IS real!

Looking at the guy I think Crispin Glover should play him in the movie.

Motor Head

He had me wondering until he mentioned Kit-Kat's and a communist chocolate hell. Moon bats got to moon.


I want to fuck your girlfriend.
You do know this story is fake, right? It's an April fools joke from 2 years ago.


In The Danger Zone...
Wackbag Staff
You do know this story is fake, right? It's an April fools joke from 2 years ago.
Well duh! A time travel device that resembles a blender? (Mr Fusion anyone?)
Kit Kats for all and a chocolate commie hell hole? Obviously fake story is so fake.


The 9/11 Moon Landings Were An Outside Job
This story is so ridiculous that Kirk is using it as proof of Hitler.