Uber/Lyft Stories

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,747
36,883
628
In a porn tree
#1
Muh name's Kin. 'jew call fudda blooba core?



Tell 'em if ya got 'em.
 

ScarletNumber

Registered User
Feb 26, 2013
1,363
613
218
#2
Do you mind if we dance wif your dates?

 

Mags

LDAR, bitch.
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
34,994
12,007
693
Ill Repute
#3
Most of mine have been named Mustafa or Muhammad.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,747
36,883
628
In a porn tree
#4
Shuwha, I'll take yudda Baaawstin and drop ya off at the gahden.

Fucking Mike. Mike was a braying jackass, and a certifiable crazy person. Mike was a conspiracy theorist, and Mike NEVER shut his fucking mouth. Not even good conspiracy theories... like UFOs and the aspartame illuminati. Mike had conspiracy theories about the local politicians in the podunk town in Maine where he lived. Every municipal employee, from the mayor, right on down to the lowliest clerk at post office was "On the take!", but Mike had the goods on them, and he had a geocities website, and he was going to "Blow the lid off it!" blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... like I gave a flying turkey.

Mike lived alone(shocker), he seemed like he was an extremely lonely guy, and I'm pretty sure he drove for Uber just for the captive audience. Mike was starved for human interaction.

OF COURSE Mike had to be my driver for the longest Uber ride in the history of Uber rides. You know how long it takes to drive from Portland, Maine to Boston? Well, if Mike is driving, it takes an entire fucking lifetime.

At one point, I even pretended to fall asleep... complete with the "In the tree fort with Richard" sounds... *snore... jeeb, jeeb, jeeb* Didn't stop Mike for a second... he just kept yammering on... with that fucking "Mainah" accent. It was utter torment.

If your Uber ever pulls up, and Mike is your driver, just strangle the life out of him, and call for another Uber... you'll be glad you did.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,421
22,055
398
Northern California
#5
Shuwha, I'll take yudda Baaawstin and drop ya off at the gahden.



Fucking Mike. Mike was a braying jackass, and a certifiable crazy person. Mike was a conspiracy theorist, and Mike NEVER shut his fucking mouth. Not even good conspiracy theories... like UFOs and the aspartame illuminati. Mike had conspiracy theories about the local politicians in the podunk town in Maine where he lived. Every municipal employee, from the mayor, right on down to the lowliest clerk at post office was "On the take!", but Mike had the goods on them, and he had a geocities website, and he was going to "Blow the lid off it!" blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... like I gave a flying turkey.

Mike lived alone(shocker), he seemed like he was an extremely lonely guy, and I'm pretty sure he drove for Uber just for the captive audience. Mike was starved for human interaction.

OF COURSE Mike had to be my driver for the longest Uber ride in the history of Uber rides. You know how long it takes to drive from Portland, Maine to Boston? Well, if Mike is driving, it takes an entire fucking lifetime.

At one point, I even pretended to fall asleep... complete with the "In the tree fort with Richard" sounds... *snore... jeeb, jeeb, jeeb* Didn't stop Mike for a second... he just kept yammering on... with that fucking "Mainah" accent. It was utter torment.

If your Uber ever pulls up, and Mike is your driver, just strangle the life out of him, and call for another Uber... you'll be glad you did.
We have a deaf/mute driver in my town who has picked me up a few times. Most enjoyable ride ever.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
78,636
27,395
898
Seattle
#9
Yes, because what I want to do is ride in a vehicle with someone who isn't even qualified enough to get a savage cab license.
 

MurphCO

Well-Known Member
Donator
Dec 13, 2011
1,353
808
298
Parts Unknown
#10
About 98% of available Ubers in the French Quarter are Nissan Altima's
 

HandPanzer

Vergangenheitsbewältigung
May 30, 2013
46,312
42,024
293
#11
I've only had good experiences.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,747
36,883
628
In a porn tree
#13
Out of over 100 Uber rides, I've had like a total of 4 "problems", and those have been little more than inconveniences.

It's a great service... the cars get to you fast as hell... usually within 10 minutes. No cash changes hands... no tipping or anything. It's all GPS tracked and the app works amazingly well.

Cabs, on the other hand... they suck at best, and they're just about useless in any kind of suburban area.

The only problem I see out in this area, and it may be happening elsewhere too... the drivers are getting blacker and blacker. I think they're cutting driver percentages, and there's more drivers... more competition... so overall revenue down.

The drivers were just about all white when I first started using it years ago... but they've steadily been getting more ghetto, and the cars are getting more ratty as the revenue goes down and competition increases. It's not worth the chump change for Whitey... so the undesirables fill the void.
 

LiLJimmysHog

Professional negative prick
Dec 18, 2005
1,228
186
498
#15
A young man grows up in the mob and works very hard to advance himself through the ranks. He enjoys his life of money and luxury, but is oblivious to the horror that he causes. A drug addiction and a few mistakes ultimately unravel his climb to the top. Wait, no...That's Goodfellas. I have never taken uber.
 

AlanSmithee

Registered User
Oct 11, 2012
2,327
1,522
208
#16
A young man grows up in the mob and works very hard to advance himself through the ranks. He enjoys his life of money and luxury, but is oblivious to the horror that he causes. A drug addiction and a few mistakes ultimately unravel his climb to the top. Wait, no...That's Goodfellas. I have never taken uber.
According to Greg Opie Hughes, this exactly how he grew up.

Caddy for the mob during the day, grab a few road sodas at night. What a life I tells ya.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,195
9,463
768
#18
I've never used it, I probably should
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,747
36,883
628
In a porn tree
#19
I've never used it, I probably should
It is one metric FUCKTONNE cheaper than a DiWI.

There are nights... many nights... when I come to in the morning, and I couldn't pick the Uber driver who brought me home out of a lineup... even if it was to save my life. Couldn't tell you if they were black or white, or even male or female. I'll look at the history, and be like "Huh, that dude drove home, huh? Whaddya know?"

I don't even remember the hotness of the sexual molestation... so that sucks.

Seriously... Uber is the drunken bar hoppers best friend... second only to the GPS app that let's you find where you parked your car before you Ubered home.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,195
9,463
768
#20
It is one metric FUCKTONNE cheaper than a DiWI.

There are nights... many nights... when I come to in the morning, and I couldn't pick the Uber driver who brought me home out of a lineup... even if it was to save my life. Couldn't tell you if they were black or white, or even male or female. I'll look at the history, and be like "Huh, that dude drove home, huh? Whaddya know?"

I don't even remember the hotness of the sexual molestation... so that sucks.

Seriously... Uber is the drunken bar hoppers best friend... second only to the GPS app that let's you find where you parked your car before you Ubered home.
Yea.... I'm a drunkard and becoming a shut in because of it, I don't go visit friends that don't really live that far away basically because I don't want to drive 45mins - hour drunk, and I do like to drink, it makes most people more interesting and less irritating to me.
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,628
5,081
568
Wyoming
#21
Yes, because what I want to do is ride in a vehicle with someone who isn't even qualified enough to get a savage cab license.
I've had nothing but good experiences. Except with this guy. He got lost despite having the GPS on.

 

Foggy

I'm wasting my life here
Donator
Dec 18, 2012
8,372
9,448
258
Straya cunt
#22
I can't figure out what Blooba Core is.