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Unicorns Were Real.........North Korea Says So....

the Streif

¡¡¡¡sıʞunɹɹɹɹɹɹɹℲ
Donator
Aug 25, 2002
14,966
5,894
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In a hot tub having a snow ball fight.
#1
It must be true......right??

Unicorns’ Existence Proven, Says North Korea

By Patrick BoehlerNov. 30, 201244 Comments
Buyenlarge / Getty Images
U is for Unicorn. Book illustration by C.B. Falls, ca. 1923.
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You can be forgiven for thinking that unicorns only exist in medieval fables and modern-day cartoons. North Korean scientists say you are wrong.
On Thursday, the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), the North Korea’s government mouthpiece, said scientists “reconfirmed” the location of the burial site of the unicorn ridden by King Dongmyeong, the founding father of the ancient Korean kingdom of Goguryeo (37 BC-668 AD).
The unicorn’s grave was rediscovered near a temple in the capital Pyongyang, with a rectangular rock engraved with the words ‘Unicorn Lair’ at its entrance, according to the report. The report did not elaborate on what further evidence of the royal unicorn’s existence was discovered.
(WATCH: Kim Jong Un Has a New Theme Song)
Like most news reports from North Korea, even unicorns are used to underscore the legitimacy of the current regime. “The discovery proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo (Goguryeo) Kingdom,” the report quoted Jo Hui Sung, director of the History Institute of the National Academy of Sciences, as saying.
King Dongmyeong’s biography is half history, half myth. As the legend goes, Kongmyeong was born from an egg impregnated by sunlight and united the tribes left in disarray after the collapse of the Chinese Western Han dynasty. His line ruled over the Korean peninsula for seven centuries until the return of the Chinese under the Tang.
(PHOTOS: The Dictator’s Bride: Kim Jong Un Debuts His First Lady)
The North Korean news agency does not have much of a reputation for factual accuracy. When the country’s former dictator Kim Jong Il died in December 2011, it reported a rock carving glowing brightly and ice near his presumed birthplace to have cracked “so loud, it seemed to shake the Heavens and the Earth” in mourning of the Dear Leader. While he was alive, Kim reportedly invented the hamburger, wrote 1,500 books in three years while at university, and shot eleven holes-in-one the first time he played golf (a feat verified by his 17 bodyguards).
Looking back at those reports, unicorns don’t seem that far off.

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/11/30/unicorns-existence-proven-says-north-korea/#ixzz2DzHpKNas
Rink
 

Neckbeard

I'm Team Piggy!
Oct 26, 2011
24,756
15,141
303
#4
I don't get what is so magical about a unicorn when we already know definitively that rhinos, the gigantic version of a unicorn, exist.

A rhino is a 5000 pound unicorn, right?
 
Dec 8, 2004
48,183
20,676
693
Maine
#7
From the same country that brought you...

Kim Jong Il: 18 Strange 'Facts' About The North Korean Leader


Deceased North Korean leader Kim Jong Il was a complex, often brutal dictator who prioritised military might and his own comfort ahead of feeding his own people.

He was also a man who seemed to radiate weirdness.

Perhaps it was his style of dress, or his keen ability to look at things without smiling. Perhaps it was his claim to have invented the hamburger. Whatever the cause, there is no shortage of funny, bizarre and odd facts about Kim Jong Il floating around on the internet.

Here are some of our favourites:






He Was Born Under A Double Rainbow

According to Kim Jong Il's official biography, he was born in a secret military camp on Baekdu Mountain during North Korea's Japanese occupation and his arrival was prophesised by a double rainbow and marked by the sight of a new star and a swallow in the sky. Unfortunately the truth appears to be more mundane - according to Soviet records, Kim was born in the Siberian village of Vyatskoye in 1941.



He Loved Waterslides


Recently-taken satellite imagery of some of Kim Jong-Il's personal mansions
(the Communist leader had at least 17) show that the leader made great efforts to build and maintain a series of ludicrously loopy waterslides.



He Was Afraid Of Flying


Kim Jong Il was reportedly terrified of flying and always travelled in armoured private trains - one of which he eventually died inside. His father, Kim Il-sung, was also afraid of flying.

He Kidnapped Short People


According to one of Kim Jong Il's former tutors, the leader used pamphlets advertising wonder-growth drugs to lure small people into traps, from where they would be deported to "uninhabited islands" to remove their "substandard" stock from the genepool.

He Was The World's Greatest Sportsman


According to national media, in 1994 Kim Jong Il shot a record-breaking round of golf in which he achieved 11 holes-in-one, and a total score of 38 - by far the greatest score in history. And it was his first try, having never before played the game. No other media organisation reported the news, however…

He Could Control The Weather


According to reports the former leader spread rumours that he could make it rain on demand, depending on his mood.

He Kidnapped Two Directors To Remake Godzilla


Kim Jong Il loved movies - he had a collection of more than 20,000 - and his 1973 book 'On The Art Of Cinema' became a manual for North Korean directors. Disappointed with their work, however, he took matters into his own hands. No, he didn't direct a film himself, as far as we know. Instead he kidnapped two respected South Korean directors in 1978 (Shin Sang Ok and Choi Eun Hee) and forced them to remake Godzilla. Their movie, Pulgasari, only emerged after the couple were forced to remarry in 1983 having spent years inside labour camps. They eventually escaped on a trip to Vienna, where they fled to the US embassy in 1986.

He Was Suspected Of Killing His Brother At Age Five

Kim's younger brother Kim Shu-ra drowned in the family's swimming pool in a mansion in Pyongyang when he was five. Soviet reports claimed that the young future leader might have been responsible for the incident.

He Drank $700k Worth Of Cognac A Year


According to a study a few years ago by Dr. Jerold Post, a former CIA psychologist, Kim Jong Il loved Hennessey cognac - which sells for around $630 a bottle in North Korea, or just under the average annual income ($900). According to the study he averaged around $650,000 to $720,000 of cognac a year.

He Did Not Use Toilets - Because He Didn't Need To


According to an official biography posted on the North Korean state web site, that has since been removed, Kim Jong-il did not defecate.

His Son - And New North Korean leader - Kim Jong Un Is Obsessed With The NBA.


Swiss-educated Kim Jong-un was apparently obsessed with professional basketball and worshipped Kobe Bryant of the LA Lakers. Friends who knew him said that he was a "fiercely competitive player" even though he was also shy and awkward with girls. He was not aggressively anti-American and had photographs of himself with NBA players. No one is sure of when they were taken.

Above: Kim Jong Il (right) and his son Kim Jong Un (left).

He Considered Himself To Be An Internet Expert


North Korean citizens were not able to freely use mobile phones or the Internet, but Kim considered himself to be a communications expert. "I'm an Internet expert too," he told South Korea's president in 2007. "It's all right to wire the industrial zone only, but there are many problems if other regions of the North are wired."

He Forced Staff To Become Drug Addicts


One of Kim's former staff members wrote a book in which he said that the Dear Leader forced his men to take the same painkillers as him so that he would not be the only one who became addicted after falling off a horse. Thoughtful.

He Ate Donkeys


One of Kim's former chefs reported in 2004 that the leader developed a taste for nice French wine, lobster and donkey meat.

He Had Many, Many Titles


Among Kim Jong Il's official titles were: Shining Star of Paektu Mountain, Guiding Sun Ray, Dear Leader, Great Leader, Respected Leader, Brilliant Leader, Sun of Socialism, The Great Sun of Life, Great Man Who Descended From Heaven, Invicible And Ever-Triumphant General and Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love.


Above: Pyongyang, North Korea's capital city, and the 105-storey Ryugyong Hotel.


He Was A Rice Obsessive


According to a nephew of Kim's first wife, Lee Young Nam, the leader had female staff inspect each grain of rice he ate to make sure it adhered to standards of length, weight and colour.

He Invented Hamburgers


North Korean newspaper Minju Joson once reported that Kim Jong Il had invented something called the "double bread with meat" and created factories to produce them in order to feed his students and teachers. Given North Korea's anti-American stance it wasn't politic to admit they were in fact hamburgers.

He Forced Women To Have Cosmetic Surgery


According to one report, Kim forced waitresses at restaurants frequented by foreigners in Pyongyang to have cosmetic surgery in order to appear more "western".
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VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
10,307
2,647
526
#12
Why hasn't a single missile strike been ordered to take out this fat retard? I know, I know - China will get upset because nobody gets to kick their dog other then them.
Well, think how embarrassing it is for China: The US's personal lapdog is Great Britain, one of the former great powers of the world, a member of the UN Security Council, a nation that's able to feed all of its people, a country that 3rd world refugees fight like hell to enter. China's personal lapdog... is North Korea.

North Korea is just such a sad, fucked up place. If I had any faith in humanity, North Korea would depress me.
 

OccupyWackbag

Registered User
Dec 12, 2011
3,416
188
98
#13
Well, think how embarrassing it is for China: The US's personal lapdog is Great Britain, one of the former great powers of the world, a member of the UN Security Council, a nation that's able to feed all of its people, a country that 3rd world refugees fight like hell to enter. China's personal lapdog... is North Korea.

North Korea is just such a sad, fucked up place. If I had any faith in humanity, North Korea would depress me.

Dude China's the lien holder of our country!
 

ruckstande

Posts mostly from the shitter.
Apr 2, 2005
14,734
4,293
678
South Jersey
#19
North Korea is the most fascinating place in the world. Just to think an entire section of this planet has been run by a family of bizarre weirdos. It's like the Jackson family ran a country.
 
Feb 5, 2003
5,531
918
753
With a stranger
#24
I don't know why everyone's so skeptical. I've got a whole collection of unicorn skeletons--probably 50 or 60 of 'em. I thought everyone had some. I keep mine next to my centaur skeletons in what used to be the servants' quarters (damn recession). That way the room has a theme and my pet Loch ness Monster can't get to them.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,107
12,895
373
Atlanta, GA
#25
I don't know why everyone's so skeptical. I've got a whole collection of unicorn skeletons--probably 50 or 60 of 'em. I thought everyone had some. I keep mine next to my centaur skeletons in what used to be the servants' quarters (damn recession). That way the room has a theme and my pet Loch ness Monster can't get to them.
I'll put my Jersey Devil against your Loch Ness Monster.
 
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