What kinda douche shows up to pick up his paycheck on the day he calls in sick? I asked a girl what kinda man she liked - the bitch described a guy who looks nothing like me. Never ask a chick for sex. Just ask her if she wants a massage, it always works! Boys raised by women never learn how to fight: but they can always win an argument. I fucked a Chinese girl so hard it opened her eyes all the way. Walmart sells the worst off brand shit. It's the only store where you can buy an Oscar Meyer flat screen TV, and for only $80. I went out with a fat bitch and put a date drug in her drink but I shoulda put it in her potato salad...goddam, that broad can EAT. I dated a celibate stripper; she liked to sell-a-bit and give-a-bit away. Black chicks name their kids after things they cannot afford. They give the kids names like Lexus, Cartier, Mortgage and Rent. My grandma had a baby 5 years after I was born. I felt like an idiot having to pick up my uncle from kindergarten. Why do guys eat pussy then wear a condom? It's too late at that point, you already swallowed the disease. Have a good weekend. Free Opie & Anthony.