Welcome to the Chuckle Hut

umo

Registered User
Jan 27, 2005
4,018
0
0
#1
Hi Everybody! Thanks for coming:

My cousin showed up at work to pick up his paycheck on the day he called in sick.

I'm a ladies man. Last night a girl banged on my door for 45 minutes. I wouldn't let her out.

My grandma is 75 years old and dont need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle.

I asked a girl what kinda man she liked - the bitch described a guy who looks nothing like me.

Never ask a woman for sex. Just ask her if she wants a massage, it always works!

Boys who get raised by women never learn how to fight: but they can always win an argument.

I fucked a Chinese girl so hard it opened her eyes all the way.

Walmart sells crazy off brand sh!t. They had an Oscar Meyer flat screen TV on sale for only $80.

I went out with a fat bitch and put a date drug in her drink. I shoulda put it in her potato salad. Goddam, that broad can EAT.

I dated a celibate stripper. She liked to sell-a-bit and give-a-bit away.

My auntie Mabel names her kids after things she cant afford. Her 5 kids are named Lexus, Prada, Cartier, Mortgage and Rent.

My grandma had a baby 5 years after I was born. I felt stupid picking up my uncle from preschool.

Why do guys eat pussy then put on a condom? It's too late at that point, you already swallowed the disease.

Goodnight. I'll be here all weekend...try the garlic chicken
 

topher520

learnings for queers
Jul 5, 2006
1,862
19
198
Boston
#2
Hi Folks Hows everyone doin?(like I care)

Sir you in the front row...You are So Fat that I heard that you were the Only one that had a "MySpaces"

I once fucked a girl that had a huge Pussy. My friend asked me "How big her Snatch was" and the only thing to come to mind was that it looked like An exact change bucket at a tollbooth. (true story)

I got this friend who tells hack jokes all the time. He thinks that his witty remarks about everyday life make people laugh. You know the type right? "Hey did you get a haircut?" Noooo I got my ears Lowered (chuckle chuckle chuckle)

I was with this girl once who refused to go ass to mouth. She was like " Ewwww thats soooo gross!" But my sweaty all day workin dick inside of your Pussy then stuck in your mouth isnt? She was like " Nooo Its different." Oh Ok ....5 centermeters of skin makes all the difference in the world.(again true story)



Well thats it for now..My Hackness has Stunk up this room. I'll try again later.
 

topher520

learnings for queers
Jul 5, 2006
1,862
19
198
Boston
#3
I'm a ladies man. Last night a girl banged on my door for 45 minutes. I wouldn't let her out.

My grandma is 75 years old and dont need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle

I fucked a Chinese girl so hard it opened her eyes all the way.
Very funny and made me laugh. I stealing them by the way...Call me Ned
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,367
50,215
644
#6
So there was this treadmill...
 

topher520

learnings for queers
Jul 5, 2006
1,862
19
198
Boston
#8
So there was this treadmill...

And I ran and Ran and Ran, But the Aids kept catching up. Was it my Diet or the amout of Whores I picked up in China town??? Wheer Werr Weeeerrrr...Insert Crash here.
 

topher520

learnings for queers
Jul 5, 2006
1,862
19
198
Boston
#9
yup, it's vacation week
Speaking about vacations(sex from the city voice)


Car Crash WACKBAG this should be called. No prize here folks...Nobody wins shit and mostly get shit on.
 

topher520

learnings for queers
Jul 5, 2006
1,862
19
198
Boston
#10
BTW this is fucking around people. tell your lamest jokes here thread has begun.
 
Dec 9, 2004
18,504
231
528
Baton Rouge
#11
Looks like the Baha Men can go away now, turns out Mike Vick let the dogs out!
 

livebackwards

Proud Patron of Ted's Conglomerated Gasmaskery
Jan 29, 2006
755
0
166
Houston, TX
#13
My grandma started walking two miles a day when she turned 90... she's 96 and we don't know where the heck she is!!!

*honk honk*
 

Bit Wrecker

Too big to fail
Oct 10, 2006
616
0
0
#14
Hey how's everybody doin' tonight? Good.

So a Rabbi, a Nun, an Italian, a Mexican, and a Polack walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says, "What is this, a joke?"

Another bar. A skeleton walks in and says, "Bartender, I'll have a beer and a mop."

But I gotta tell ya, I love when I get down to the last trash bag. I take that last trash bag out of the container. Then I put the container in the trash bag. It's the cycle of life, folks.

And speaking of trashed, how about that Lindsay Lohan, huh? If she'd just switch from coke to pills, she could be the next Anna Nicole - without all the talent and charm.

But seriously folks, drunk driving: what's up wit dat?

That's my time. Thank you. You've been a great thread.

*bows*
 

umo

Registered User
Jan 27, 2005
4,018
0
0
#15
Dick Clark calls himself the World's Oldest Teenager so he can have a defense when prosecuted for molesting 16 year olds.

Abe Vigoda is the only man with a body completely covered by testicle skin.

When Roy of Siegfried & Roy got attacked by a tiger it was the first time his face was that close to a pussy.

Autopsy results will show that Phyliss Diller died from being really fucking old.

Courtney Love is the Yoko Ono of Grunge music. Courtney has two live-in paramedics plunge a needle full of adrenalin into her heart each morning.

If Lindsay Lohan dies at 23. Twenty-three will be her age and the number of illegal drugs found in her system.

Butter my ass folks...I'm on a roll
 

topher520

learnings for queers
Jul 5, 2006
1,862
19
198
Boston
#16
what do you call a girl who has the limb control of Christopher Reeve???

Mine.... without the struggle.

I ahhh Ok ...Ill stop