What reason have chicks given to dump you?

SOS

ONA
Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
48,116
8,880
938
USA
#1
Jimmy went off on how women are never satisfied after the story of how Prince Harry's former GF left him because he went to the world series of rugby games instead of her 22th birthday,

What reason have chicks given to dump you?
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,028
1,380
643
#2
Jimmy went off on how women are never satisfied after the story of how Prince Harry's former GF left him because he went to the world series of rugby games instead of her 22th birthday,

What reason have chicks given to dump you?
Twenty Seconth?
 

Razor Roman

Save the USH!
Aug 27, 2002
10,393
0
366
Sayreville NJ
#4
"You seem to be looking for a girlfriend. I don't want to have a boyfriend"


...oh. Why the ad on the dating site then, stupid?
 

HockeyHelmet

eugoogoolizer..you know one who speaks at funerals
Nov 24, 2004
4,305
1
0
Valley Stream
#5
Your dad mow's the lawn...hockey and I shut the sprinkler off and didn't bring it in the back yard...5 years that’s what I got..haven't talked to her since..good riddance.
 

BlackNinja

How'd your parents die?
Jan 25, 2006
1,200
0
0
Miami
#6
she told me she didnt think i was going anywhere with my life. this was right after high school, i took a year off to save up. I was actually the real smart one in my group of friends. a couple years later, she tried talking to me again when she found out i was in pharmacy school. what a clown she was
 

abudabit

New Wackbag
Oct 10, 2004
14,802
0
0
#7
"It just doesn't feel the same..."

"Uh, I don't know. I can't explain."


Women never give me answers, which suggests they feel sorry for me.
 

WhiteHonkyDevil

El hombre de los moleculos!
Dec 8, 2004
10,928
959
628
Detroit, MI
#8
Generally, my relationships end with a catastrophic meltdown, as I can only bag psychos.

That, or they start fucking my friends.

It's usually a combination of both, but it always boils down to one or the other...there's never been any other way.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,028
1,380
643
#10
Ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba
Ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba
Ooh, Ooh.

I'm wakin' up at 2 PM, my eyes are barely open
And my head is kind of poundin' from the drinkin' and the smokin'
And my whole apartment reeks, I haven't showered in two weeks
Things are lookin' kind of bleak 'cause I'm alone again

I used to have a girlfriend till I asked her for some money
And I spent it all on drinkin' which she didn't think was funny
Then I entertained her sister in a game of naked Twister
And I guess that pissed her off 'cause I'm alone again

I'm alone again and I really don't know why
I'm alone again, I'm a pretty decent guy
Why'd you have to say goodbye, I'll never know

I'm hangin' with my buddies hittin' all our favorite places
And I try to talk to ladies but the pattern never changes
First this boring conversation, then an awkward situation
Then it ends with masturbation, I'm alone again

I'm watchin' "Law & Order" while I wallow in self-pity
And I'm listenin' to music that I used to think was shitty
Like the theme song from "Titanic" or "The Wind Beneath My Wings"
Suddenly, it speaks to me 'cause I'm alone again

I'm alone again and I'm as miserable as hell
I'm alone again and I hope you are as well
Thinking I'm all by myself, it's wrong

Ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba
Ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba
Ooh, why?

I drank 1/5 a vodka, then I threw up in the sewer
Now the bars that serve me drinks are gettin' far between and fewer
Take another shot of Jack thinking how to get you back
Does anybody have some crack 'cause I'm alone again

I'm alone again and I don't know what to do
I'm alone again and it's all because of you
Thinking I'm all by myself, it's wrong

I'm alone again and I'm as miserable as hell
I'm alone again and I hope you are as well
Thinking I'm all by myself, it's wrong
 

CM Mark

The East is Ours!
Apr 13, 2005
27,472
856
513
Pretty Pretty Unicorn
#11
I once had a girlfriend
But then one day she dumped me
And everywhere I go people would ask me where she was
I don't want to talk about her
Someone always asks about her
So I tell them all: my girlfriend's dead
I say it's leukemia or sometimes bulemia
Or a great big truck ran her over and chopped off her head
I don't want to talk about her
But someone always asks about her
So I tell them all: she's dead
I guess there's a part of me
That likes sympathy
Or, the looks on their faces when I tell them
How she passed away
I don't want to talk about her
But someone always asks about her
So I tell them all shes dead
My girlfriend's dead [2x], you see
It's a total lie but it's easier on me
Than having to admit that she likes someone else
My girlfriend's dead [2x], you know
Please change the subject, I'm going to go
Jump off a building and join her in hell
I don't want to talk about her
But someone always asks about her
So I tell them all: she's dead
I once had a girlfriend
But then one day she dumped me
And everywhere I go people would ask me where she was
I don't want to talk about her ----
But someone always asks about her ----[2x]
So I tell them all: my girlfriend's dead -
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,676
9,148
768
#12
"you wont stop drinking"
you wont stop sticking your dick in my ass
you hit me
your a fucking slob
you cant get decent coke
i just wanted to ride in your car not suck your cock
i like women
you got drunk and pissed on my mothers white couch
i can go on and on

oh and the old stand buy "im pregnant, and its not yours"
 

Deadbent

You can go fuck.
Aug 19, 2005
13,047
3
443
Chicago, IL. Southside, stupid.
#14
All their reasons have been good and I'm glad they did it. Except one.
Don't have too many interesting reasons, same old bullshit. "too different" "its me not you". Probably not much I haven't heard.
Got a few humorous stories of breakups, though.

There was the girl in HS who called to break up, and in the process yelled at her dad. He stomped her nicely. Threw her into shit. Phone fell to the floor. I heard shrieks. Glass breaking. I heard THWACK. OW. THWACK.. OW.. and sobs. lots of sobs until I hung up.
Never saw or talked to her again, that was certain. Stupid Hubbard girls.


Then there was the chick who came over to break up, and parked on my street during street cleaning to do it. an hour later she finished doing whatever she needed to with me, and left. Went outside to find her car towed.
Guess how quick it took me to laugh and slowly close the door after she said
"I think my car got towed can I ... "

There was also time this gal was giving me the hasta la vista routine. and her guy on the side stopped by while she was in the middle of trying to convince me I'm a rotten human being.
It's okay. I probably was. You could've asked her younger sister.


(there's actually more stories where I turned out to be the laughing stock, but you get the idea, fuckers)
 

MJMANDALAY

Registered User
Jan 26, 2005
13,145
1
0
#15
A few before I was married said the cawk was toooo big for thier ass. :icon_mrgr
 
Nov 29, 2006
3,452
374
523
FL
#16
"you wont stop drinking"
you wont stop sticking your dick in my ass
you hit me
your a fucking slob
you cant get decent coke
i just wanted to ride in your car not suck your cock
i like women
you got drunk and pissed on my mothers white couch
[highlight]i can go on and on[/highlight]

oh and the old stand buy "im pregnant, and its not yours"
Please do go on, you're on a roll. Very funny stuff. :haha7:
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#18
I was dumped because she wanted to take it slow, but failed to tell me that while we were hanging out 24/7.

Apparently i was too clingy. :arrrh:
 
F

frrrrunkis

Guest
#24
"You're too perfect for me, really."

Uh-huh. Gladly though. I wasn't really broken up over that one, but it sure perplexed me for about 4 days.