What the F??!? Spider Mating Season

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
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#1
This is not a good time of year for an arachnophobic like myself.

I'm terrified of spiders. Every time I walk through a spider web, I'm paranoid for the rest of the day. Twitching, slapping myself, shaking my shirt in the middle of class, I'm like fuckin' Twitchels.

Well, lately the entire town is just being <po>Po'ned</po> by spiders. I opened my door this morning and there is no way to walk down the steps without going right through thick awful spider webs.

Apparently this is their mating season. All the female spiders are out fucking the man spiders and giving birth to a shitload of baby spiders. They are EVERYWHERE.

So I've been skipping class and locking myself in my apartment, drinking and smoking to ease my fear. I'm completely tense and paranoid, and I haven't been able to sleep well. This is how awful my phobia of spiders is.

Time for the "deal with it pussy, they are just bugs" comments. Fire away :(
 
Jan 6, 2006
9,655
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#2


Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
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#5
i effing hate spiders. if i would have known how bad they were here in Arkansas i would have never fucking moved here. I find Brown Recluse and Black Widows all the time, in the garage around the house and all over. Wolf spiders suck really bad because they can fucking jump.

Wolf spiders are really really bad in Oklahoma too. Especially around Norman and can be found in apartments everywhere. They like to hide in piles of clothes, shoes, kitchen cabinets, bathroom showers and tubs, in the corners of bedroom walls. Always shake out your beddding before going to bed to, because often times they will hang out under your covers as well. :D
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
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Jan 14, 2002
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Land of misfit toys
#7
Watch out for the Hobo Spiders...They chase ya! and have a nasty bite!
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
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#8
had one of these:
Chilean Rose
Grammastola rosea

This medium sized species from the drier regions of Chile, has a subtle beauty that is enhanced by its very docile nature. It is one of the most popular pet species of all times.
Want one of these:
Goliath
Bird Eater
Theraphosa blondi

This tarantula is indigenous to the rain forest regions of northern South America. This true giant of the spider world is the largest species on earth. Adults have been known to exceed a quarter of a pound in weight with an 11-inch leg span. These animals readily flick painful urticating hairs, and when provoked will bite with their one inch long fangs!
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
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#9
The fucking wolf spiders bite, but its nothing bad. Just itches a little. They genreally just bite you in your sleep so you never really see it or feel it. The lame thing is they get HUGE, the body alone can be the size of a 50 cent piece. Sometimes if you go to smash one with your foot it will jump outta the way. I had one jump on my mother fucking leg as a kid. :icon_eek: Talk about running around like a scared little bitch, but damn, when you see a spider jump 2 feet in the air, what the fuck else are you supposed to do?
 

MAV

Registered User
Nov 23, 2005
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Denver, CO
#12
you oughta see the size of the tarantulas over here shooter. some are bigger than my hand. you can see em crossing the roads everywhere.
 
Nov 29, 2006
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#13
Do you have banana spiders in OK? Those fuckers can spin a web from tree to tree, across a road.
 

MAV

Registered User
Nov 23, 2005
10,578
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368
Denver, CO
#14
Do you have banana spiders in OK? Those fuckers can spin a web from tree to tree, across a road.
not sure if thats what i had, but i had one that spanned two trees that were about 15 feet apart. complete with the zig zag pattern to keep birds from flying through it.


also had a spider on my back glass door that had a tunnel web. (no idea what it was called.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
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#18
My landlord said he has never had more calls from his renters about the spider problem. They are fucking everywhere...... rediculous.
 

NuttyJim

Registered User
Feb 18, 2006
14,154
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#19
are there ****** spiders?
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
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#20
My landlord said he has never had more calls from his renters about the spider problem. They are fucking everywhere...... rediculous.
Yes. The young have been released.

I was mistaken. It's not mating season, actually. Tuesday was the day the mothers release their young. So basically the country is being overrun by baby spiders.

Small ones...that you can't see...that are probably in my sheets, which is why I have been washing them every day. Jesus, I'm a psychopath.