I went to Dallas this weekend for the OU-Texas game (or as the awful stadium announcer called it, "The Red River Rivary." No, he wasn't Chinese. In fact, he sounded a lot like the spaceshullendevurrr guy), and it was really fun. However, something has to be done about its location. The "Red River Rivalry" is currently held at the Cotton Bowl stadium, which is in the heart of just a LOVELY part of Dallas and within the state fairgrounds. I hear they are moving the Cotton Bowl to a new stadium in 2010, but the OU-TX game is still going to be played at that shitheap until like 2015. Let's start by talking about the location. The state fairgrounds is located on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd, just down the road from Malcolm X Blvd. That alone should give you an idea of what kind of area this is. In fact, I'm not going to get into details about it; I'll just leave it at that. (By the way, kind of funny that the COTTON Bowl is on MLK blvd. Wocka Wocka) In order to get to the stadium, you've got to pass through the Texas State Fair. Why is this a problem? They don't accept cash. Nope. It's one of those COUPON fairs. Want a beer? Well you've got to stand in line for an hour to get coupons, and then weave through the crowd, the virtual wall of flab, this million man march of fat people eating greasy fair food, to wait in line for a beer. Beer is 10 coupons. How much is 10 coupons? $5.00. Thankfully I'm not legally old enough to drink yet, so I didn't have to deal with all that. Although I had a lot of water, and that's 5 coupons, approx. $2.50. I HATE fairs. Bunch of shirtless (yes, shirtless) fat sweaty slobs pushing and shoving, breathing on you, making you sweat yourself because of all the body heat around you. It was probably around 80 degrees in Dallas, but at the fair it was around 110 just from the fucking body heat and the piss vapors from the concrete. Not to mention it had just rained, so add that humidity and you've got yourself a great climate. The stadium is an old piece of shit. Hallways are narrow, the food is awful, but at least they accept cash. If you want a beer, though, you've got to exit the stadium and run out to the fair for more coupons. The bathrooms are awful, but then again, all stadium bathrooms are terrible. Someone could build a stadium with reclining cushioned seats and air conditioning and the whole works, and the bathroom would still be the same as every other awful stadium mens room. But the fair bathrooms as well as the bathrooms at the stadium were 5 times worse than the worst public restroom you've ever taken a piss in. The sinks didn't even work like proper sinks. You had to hold down a button for water to come out, so it is a pain in the ass to wash your hands. You know how when you go to a bowling alley or a bar and once you get home you just reek of smoke? Well, when I got back to the hotel from the game, I could actually smell the piss and shit vapors on my wet clothes (it rained after the game). That's how awful the fucking experience is. But, it was a good game. The Sooners won, and thankfully we didn't go into overtime, so it wasn't dark out when we walked back to our car on fucking Jesse Jackson St. or Tupac Blvd or wherever we were parked in that awful area. It's funny how people in the neighborhood were offering parking at their houses. Yeah, sure. Let's park our car at this gentleman's fine house with the barred windows and the Rotweiler out back. I'm sure nothing will get stolen and no one will get mugged.