What "weird experience" stories do you have?

mills

I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness
Jan 30, 2005
13,849
638
628
Flea Bottom
#1
This Zimmerman story and all the talk about Neighborhood Watches etc has got me thinking. This douchebag was cruising around like a wannabe Bernie Goetz. I wonder if I've run into people like that before.

I used to hang out with a part-time crackhead. I didn't smoke or like crack, but I did like money. So when he mentioned the idea of going over to this one nice neighborhood and looking for something to steal, I thought, fuck it, let's go. We make the long trek and then look around for a while and he spots a bike in a garage he can grab, does it, and the homeowner must've heard and the door opens. We book - him on his conveniently newly acquired Schwinn, me on my 2 month old sneakers. I run maybe a block and then just start the long walk home. Night's over apparently.

About 6 blocks later, still in the heart of unfamiliar suburbs, a car pulls up and stops. Now, I must have been unbelievably dumb at the time (this is a recurring theme, that night and way beyond) because I didn't think anything of it. 3 guys a little younger than me - they looked like they just got their license - ask me if I need a ride. It just so happened that I sure as shit did need one. I get in and ask what are you guys doing tonight. Without hesitation the driver replies "looking for faggots". Don't ask me what I made of that at the time. I think the answer is nothing. How that's possible I don't know. Anyway I didn't ask a follow up question. But I specifically remember not being too worried.

They gave off a vibe which I later in life identified with wackers - EMTs or EMT wannabes who love to monitor police channels and head to the scene of an accident to observe any carnage that's available for viewing. In the same retrospect, I could see if these kids were wannabe police or neighborhood watch. I could also even see if they were faggots. What do you think? I mean aside from my complete cluelessness about the possibility that they were out looking for (and found, knowingly or unknowingly) something to do with the robbery that just happened in their neighborhood. Honestly neither occurred to me at the time, which is so baffling it burns a hole in my brain now.

They dropped me at home and I never heard from them again.
 

NikkorTheMonk

Registered User
Apr 26, 2005
1,524
54
473
#2
A weird experience is eating a bag of shrooms and going to one of those theatrical type haunted houses during Halloween. A stupid experience is shooting out street lights at midnight with a Crossman #766, 10 pump bb gun, at 14 years old. I will neither confirm nor deny either of these events.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
32,840
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Land of misfit toys
#3
This Zimmerman story and all the talk about Neighborhood Watches etc has got me thinking. This douchebag was cruising around like a wannabe Bernie Goetz. I wonder if I've run into people like that before.

I used to hang out with a part-time crackhead. I didn't smoke or like crack, but I did like money. So when he mentioned the idea of going over to this one nice neighborhood and looking for something to steal, I thought, fuck it, let's go. We make the long trek and then look around for a while and he spots a bike in a garage he can grab, does it, and the homeowner must've heard and the door opens. We book - him on his conveniently newly acquired Schwinn, me on my 2 month old sneakers. I run maybe a block and then just start the long walk home. Night's over apparently.

About 6 blocks later, still in the heart of unfamiliar suburbs, a car pulls up and stops. Now, I must have been unbelievably dumb at the time (this is a recurring theme, that night and way beyond) because I didn't think anything of it. 3 guys a little younger than me - they looked like they just got their license - ask me if I need a ride. It just so happened that I sure as shit did need one. I get in and ask what are you guys doing tonight. Without hesitation the driver replies "looking for faggots". Don't ask me what I made of that at the time. I think the answer is nothing. How that's possible I don't know. Anyway I didn't ask a follow up question. But I specifically remember not being too worried.

They gave off a vibe which I later in life identified with wackers - EMTs or EMT wannabes who love to monitor police channels and head to the scene of an accident to observe any carnage that's available for viewing. In the same retrospect, I could see if these kids were wannabe police or neighborhood watch. I could also even see if they were faggots. What do you think? I mean aside from my complete cluelessness about the possibility that they were out looking for (and found, knowingly or unknowingly) something to do with the robbery that just happened in their neighborhood. Honestly neither occurred to me at the time, which is so baffling it burns a hole in my brain now.

They dropped me at home and I never heard from them again.
Fuck you too!
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
Jan 23, 2006
10,385
419
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Land of hicks and rubes.
#4
When I was 7 years old my dad took all of us boys to Canada to go fishing. We piled into the family truckster, and headed north. While we were waiting at the border two cars ahead on the right of us I noticed a black guy standing by his trunk with a younger black guy. They had the trunk open, and the younger one reached in and pulled out a sawed off shotgun. He held it for a second and the older guy got pissed and stuffed it back into the trunk. My brothers didn't see it, and my dad had his head back and was cat napping. I never said a word. I was so excited about our fishing trip that I was afraid if I said something dad would get involved and we would end up in a motel room while dad had to do cop stuff and deal with the locals.

We got into Canada and spent the night in a motel. The next morning they reported on TV that a 16 year old black kid had been killed while attempting to rob a gas station, they said he had a sawed off shotgun. I always wondered if it was the same kid that I had seen at the border. I could have prevented that kid from getting shot, simply by telling my dad. I always felt bad about it. All I had to do was rat them out and dad could have done something.

I confessed to my dad about the whole thing a couple weeks after we got back. He used it as a life lesson. You know....doing the right thing no matter what and shit. This was by far the weirdest coincidence type of thing I ever dealt with.
 

Psychopath

I want to fuck your girlfriend.
Dec 28, 2008
18,722
3,554
393
Constant sate of misery
#7
Some friends and I were standing on the balcony of their apartment one summer night. This was a few years ago and I just started college. I remember we were yelling and screaming and acting like asshole when we heard a crash. The apartment we were at was right across the street from a school in the ghetto of Pittsburgh. Some drunk guy comes screaming around the corner takes out the fire hydrant that's right next to the school.

The fire hydrant gets stuck underneath the drivers side front wheel. The asshole drunk drives about a block and stops his car at the curb. The drunk and his drunk girlfriend try to dislodge the fire hydrant from the car they can't remove it. They both loudly walked away from the scene after a few minuets. To this day I regret not stopping the asshole from walking away. The cops showed up 20 minuets later and towed the car away.
 

Atomic Fireball

Well-Known Member
Donator
Jul 26, 2005
6,358
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#8
One time I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone
 

Lil'GlubGlub

You may call me Chef Glub
Sep 3, 2004
2,164
305
648
near philly
#9
About 2 weeks ago I was at a strip club with a buddy. I went to take a leak. I was coming out of the bathroom and noticed this chick hanging all over him.

I approached the bar and this woman is gyrating and telling him how much she wants to fuck. She then went on a tirade about how she loved to squirt. she said" When I am thirsty, I don't drink water, I rub my pussy and drink my squirt. When I need a shower I don't use water, I rub my pussy and bathe in my juices".

My friend looked over at me and mouthed out HELP. Being the prick that I can be I just took a sip of my beer and watched the trainwreck.

About 5 minutes of listening to her talk about spirits and supernatural shit, I figured she was either drunk, on meth, or both.

Finally she got up on stage and the bartender came over and started laughing. We promptly booked it out of there.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,222
12,972
438
Atlanta, GA
#10
A few months ago, I was walking up to the store when a guy stopped me and we had the following exchange:

Dude: Hey, man. No offense, but you look like you smoke pot. Do you know where I can get some?
Me: Naw. I don't smoke pot.
Dude: Good for you. [Said without sarcasm]

That was it.
 

Josh_R

Registered User
Jan 29, 2005
5,847
458
578
Akron, Ohio
#11
When I was 7 years old my dad took all of us boys to Canada to go fishing. We piled into the family truckster, and headed north. While we were waiting at the border two cars ahead on the right of us I noticed a black guy standing by his trunk with a younger black guy. They had the trunk open, and the younger one reached in and pulled out a sawed off shotgun. He held it for a second and the older guy got pissed and stuffed it back into the trunk. My brothers didn't see it, and my dad had his head back and was cat napping. I never said a word. I was so excited about our fishing trip that I was afraid if I said something dad would get involved and we would end up in a motel room while dad had to do cop stuff and deal with the locals.

We got into Canada and spent the night in a motel. The next morning they reported on TV that a 16 year old black kid had been killed while attempting to rob a gas station, they said he had a sawed off shotgun. I always wondered if it was the same kid that I had seen at the border. I could have prevented that kid from getting shot, simply by telling my dad. I always felt bad about it. All I had to do was rat them out and dad could have done something.

I confessed to my dad about the whole thing a couple weeks after we got back. He used it as a life lesson. You know....doing the right thing no matter what and shit. This was by far the weirdest coincidence type of thing I ever dealt with.
Dude, are you serious? You should feel great about that. The idiot got killed robbing a store! If you had ratted on him, he MIGHT have gotten a few years in prison and then returned to the streets to actually kill/****/rob someone! You did the world a service by letting him get killed early.
 

porch24

Registered User
Nov 20, 2009
124
0
76
Mass
#12
When I was 19, I was one of those "white van speaker scam" guys. This one guy I worked with liked hitting up the porno shops to try and get some sales. I think we were in RI when he saw one. He told me to go in and check it out. I go up to the one guy working in the place and do the whole speaker pitch. He gives me a smirk and tells me to check downstairs. I go downstairs and find myself with around 6-7 middle aged to elderly men just standing in a circle. Again, I do the whole pitch and one of the guys looks at me and goes "This is where you come to get blown, kid." I got the hell out of that place in a hurry.
 

lajikal

Registered User
Aug 6, 2009
16,184
3,900
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#13
Was about 3 years old, had chronic bronchitis and doctor visits weren't doin much. So.. my mom took me to a small old isolated farmhouse in mexico after taking multiple beatdown bus rides to get there (she was raised in mexico). An old wrinkly lady opens her screen door and lets us in. She tells me to lay on her kitchen table and to take my shirt off. She grabs a clear glass cup, puts it on my chest, gets 2 eggs, cracks them and puts them in the cup. She starts saying prayers and shants, and the eggs start turning black as i just look on freaked out but don't move. Ol' bitch cured my bronchitis. My mom never mentions that story to anyone because her family is religious and that stuff is frowned upon.
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
Jan 23, 2006
10,385
419
243
Land of hicks and rubes.
#14
When I was 19, I was one of those "white van speaker scam" guys. This one guy I worked with liked hitting up the porno shops to try and get some sales. I think we were in RI when he saw one. He told me to go in and check it out. I go up to the one guy working in the place and do the whole speaker pitch. He gives me a smirk and tells me to check downstairs. I go downstairs and find myself with around 6-7 middle aged to elderly men just standing in a circle. Again, I do the whole pitch and one of the guys looks at me and goes "This is where you come to get blown, kid." I got the hell out of that place in a hurry.
I have been approached twice by the speaker guys. The first time, if I would have had any money I would have likely fell for it. I got approached a couple years later at a car wash and told them that I wasn't interested. I found out later that it was a neat little scam that seemed to work pretty well on people.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,692
9,688
848
#15
when i was a kid (about 10 or so) the the shop i work for got a very bad accident in the impound lot that involved a "playboy" casino bus (yes i am that old) my dad and i were at the shop with a bunch of other lookie loos (it was a horrible accident, 4 or 5 killed) there was a bunch of guys that decided that they wanted to get onto the bus and they basically started looting it, a cop grabbed on of the shittys (a white guy actually) the guy pulls away from the cop and runs to a car and trys to take off, as the guy is pulling away the door of his car swings open and almost hits me, whacks my dads truck, and grazes my dad, mean while there is a cop hanging out of the other side of the car, the asshole behind the wheel then hits a pole in the parking lot, my old man runs over to the car and starts walloping the guy behind the steering wheel, drags him out buy his jacket and kneels on his neck till the cop gets out of the other side and cuffs him. i had never seen my dad get mad let alone thump someone (i knew he was a viet nam vet, and he had said he took advanced combat training, well i guess it kicked in) that was the first and last time i ever saw him get mad at anyone other than me.

had another weird one, got invited to a goth, BDSM "party" at a club in philly, there was a dude hanging from the ceiling wrapped up like a mummy a chick getting whipped (all kinds of kinky rockpup shit) i had a box of glass dildos and pipes i was trying to sell, didn't sell any, or get kinky with anyone (had no idea why i was even there and dont really remember most of it we didn't stay long and i was getting kind of weirded out because i was basically alone) but it was definitely a strange night
 

CousinDave

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
25,297
198
393
Ohio
#16
When I was 19, I was one of those "white van speaker scam" guys. This one guy I worked with liked hitting up the porno shops to try and get some sales. I think we were in RI when he saw one. He told me to go in and check it out. I go up to the one guy working in the place and do the whole speaker pitch. He gives me a smirk and tells me to check downstairs. I go downstairs and find myself with around 6-7 middle aged to elderly men just standing in a circle. Again, I do the whole pitch and one of the guys looks at me and goes "This is where you come to get blown, kid." I got the hell out of that place in a hurry.

I bought a set of those speakers for my cousin, all he wanted were the cabinets - replaced the crossovers and drivers

2 times after that I just messed with the white van guys, making them think I was just about to buy (at a much higher price than they would have sold them for) and then couldn't find my wallet and was going to call the cops because I know one of them must have picked my pocket
 

CousinDave

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
25,297
198
393
Ohio
#17
When I was 19, I was one of those "white van speaker scam" guys. This one guy I worked with liked hitting up the porno shops to try and get some sales. I think we were in RI when he saw one. He told me to go in and check it out. I go up to the one guy working in the place and do the whole speaker pitch. He gives me a smirk and tells me to check downstairs. I go downstairs and find myself with around 6-7 middle aged to elderly men just standing in a circle. Again, I do the whole pitch and one of the guys looks at me and goes "This is where you come to get blown, kid." I got the hell out of that place in a hurry.

I bought a set of those speakers for my cousin, all he wanted were the cabinets - replaced the crossovers and drivers

2 times after that I just messed with the white van guys, making them think I was just about to buy (at a much higher price than they would have sold them for) and then couldn't find my wallet and was going to call the cops because I know one of them must have picked my pocket
 

VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
10,309
2,650
586
#18
Well, I got assaulted by a homeless man while on the Champs-Élysées once... And I guess I "assaulted" him back.

I was in the middle of a riot in China once. That was interesting, I guess. Back in '97 I was on a backpacking trip across China. It was before the 3 Gorges Dam was finished, so you could still do the 3 Gorges Ferry ride. Boring as fuck. Seriously. It was way over-hyped how beautiful it was. Think 1/100th of the height and expanse of the Grand Canyon, with more trees/moss/green stuff and a much, much slower river at the bottom (at that time of year, at least).

I was traveling with my sister and my cousin (female), and part of the ferry trip was a stop at the 3 Little Gorges, which had a least a little white water. Not enough to upset a powered canoe, but a little. The big ferry boat would stop off at these shitty docks and the ferry passengers would transfer to these little powered canoes. We were on a shitty local ferry, and about 5 minutes after we got there an American-owned ferry showed up. Their passengers got to go on the powered canoes first. Whatever, the tickets for the American-owned ferry were ten times as much. OTOH, the cabins were private staterooms with air-conditioning while ours were racks of bunks some of which had rat shit on them, but we were roughing it.

Well, after the passengers from the American-owned ferry went off in the canoes, some of the loudmouths from our ferry started talking shit to the longshoremen. Middle aged fat guys from Taiwan, talking down to young fit men from central China. Didn't go over well. Next thing we know, the middle aged fat guys and the longshoremen are fighting it out on the shitty docks we're waiting on. I herded my sister and cousin onto the American-owned ferry (we'd talked up that ferry's purser earlier) and got them out of the shit. We waited on there until the powered canoes came back for our glorious tour, by which time everything had gotten cleaned up/hushed up. Wouldn't want anyone to disparage the brilliant and beautiful tourist site of the Three Little Gorges, would we?
 

Dicktator

I need a Vacation
Feb 11, 2006
3,846
998
593
Michigan
#19
I was on a date with a girl who lived in the suburbs of Chicago. She had a lot of friends who lived in the city in some pretty nice places. She talked me into going to a party at one of her friends boyfriends place. I absolutely hate going to partys where I don't know anyone. And I'm super anti-social anyway. Anyways, it was a hot night and most of the 30 people there were outside on a second floor balcony chatting, drinking whatever. She wanted to go inside and and get some more ice for her drink (I made it strong so i could get her drunk and get out of there). I was not having a great time being there doing the small talk B.S. and wanted to get away from everyone for a few minutes so I offered to get it. While at the fridge I heard an ear piercing crack then screams I ran to the sliding door and the entire deck had fallen. Lucky for most they were only on a second floor. A couple of people still had some serious injuries. Now I'm glad i'm as anti-social .
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
49,324
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In a porn tree
#20
I was in Seoul Korea back when I was a young Navy scamp. I was with a friend of mine and I guess we wandered into a section of town where the 'round eye' weren't supposed to go. I guess the local dong heads hated the US Army guys(do you blame them?) who were stationed there and certain areas of the town were "off limits" to soldiers. I was a squidly didley sailor who had been in town for two days, what The fuck did I know? So me and my bud wander down this street and all of a sudden three Korean guys come up and they start giving us serious shit... like they were seriously pissed, No soldier! No Army! Korea guy only! We kick ass! We kick ass! I was all Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No need to be getting testy, gentlemen. Honest mistake. If you point me in the right direction, I'll tip my hat, say good morrow, and take my leave of you fine fellows. I was all smiles and sunshine, but the Chan Clan was having none of it, and they proceeded to start shoving and throwing hands at us... poorly. They were such incompetent fighters, that for a minute I seriously thought they were just fucking with us... like they were going to start laughing, and pat us on the back, and then buy us a beer and laugh at funny joke joke they make. But then one of them connected with a solid shot to my ear and I realized that they weren't just going pee pee in my Coke.

So then I started scrapping in earnest... now, I'm not a fighter by any stretch, and I certainly don't have any formal training or ninja skills, but still I wasn't going to just lay down like a punk. I started throwing haymakers and straight kicks and jamming my knee into any abdomen that came near me. What I lacked in skill I made up for in enthusiasm... I was all flying elbows and knees... I remember grabbing bodies and just tossing them like sacks of flour... musta been like the shanty Irish in my DNA channeling the generations of drunken Irish brawlers in my family tree. It was all a blur.

The next thing I know... I'm standing there and all three dongers are laid out on the pavement in front of me... looking like squirrels that had been shaken by a terrier. I hear my friend laughing hysterically behind me and I turn around and look at him... the fucker never threw a punch. He had just stood there laughing the whole time.

I was like, Holy fuck... we're in the forbidden zone, I just laid out three zipper heads, and now the whole neighborhood is going to pounce on me and tear me limb from limb. But I looked around and all of the koreans standing around were laughing their asses off too. I was like... The fuck?

My friend grabbed me and pulled me down the street and we just walked away... the crowd still laughing behind us. MY friend took me to a bar and explained what had happened. He said it was the most hilarious thing he had ever seen... I was like Andre the Giant in the ring with three midget wrestlers, at one point I had a dong hanging onto each arm and one of my legs and I kicked and threw them off one by one. He said that there were parts of the fight were the Korean dudes were lining up and coming at me one at a time... in single file... like they watched too many Kung Fu movies where the ninjas all wait there turn to get their asses kicked by Bruce Lee. At one point, I picked one dude up and tossed him and he knocked the other two dudes over like bowling pins... that was about the time when the entire crowd joined my friend in laughing hysterically.

Damn... from where I was standing it was an epic contest. A mighty battle for the ages. I guess for the onlookers it appeared more like a Three Stooges skit.

I like to think back on the weird experience and consider myself a total badass, but I think it was more a matter of those three dongs were either drunk as shit, or maybe Koreans are just useless in a fight. Whatever... that was wicked weird.
 

Off-White-Power

High maintenance, low tolerance
May 12, 2007
762
116
453
Shenandoah Valley, VA
#22
Got arrested on my wedding night, thrown in paddy wagon in a $5k gown. Spent most of night in jail. Remember looking out back of wagon window and seeing new hubby waving and laughing. Tried to kick out window, didn't work, plexiglass? Spent honeymoon money on a schiester lawyer who got me off in court. Arresting officers first night on the job and got teased so bad by his fellow officers that he was forced to quit. 22 years later and I STILL get teased about this every single year.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,516
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#23
Got arrested on my wedding night, thrown in paddy wagon in a $5k gown. Spent most of night in jail. Remember looking out back of wagon window and seeing new hubby waving and laughing. Tried to kick out window, didn't work, plexiglass? Spent honeymoon money on a schiester lawyer who got me off in court. Arresting officers first night on the job and got teased so bad by his fellow officers that he was forced to quit. 22 years later and I STILL get teased about this every single year.
Sounds like you got to have your honeymoon after all.:action-sm
 

Dicktator

I need a Vacation
Feb 11, 2006
3,846
998
593
Michigan
#25
Got arrested on my wedding night, thrown in paddy wagon in a $5k gown. Spent most of night in jail. Remember looking out back of wagon window and seeing new hubby waving and laughing. Tried to kick out window, didn't work, plexiglass? Spent honeymoon money on a schiester lawyer who got me off in court. Arresting officers first night on the job and got teased so bad by his fellow officers that he was forced to quit. 22 years later and I STILL get teased about this every single year.
Winner!