When Your Husband Doesn't Like Cock....HE LOVES IT!!!!

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
140,933
49,530
644
#1
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/02/15/gay.spouse/index.html

When her husband of more than a decade revealed he was gay, Anna Marie Will was surprised -- but not shocked.


Jim and Anna Marie Will decided to stay together after he announced he was gay.

Her husband, Jim, had never fit her stereotypical idea of the sports-loving, macho, straight guy, and the two had even gone to gay bars with a friend who was gay. But that didn't mean she was prepared for the news.

"Neither one of us had a clue -- he didn't know what being gay meant for him. ... He needed to figure that out," recalls Anna Marie Will, of Sacramento, California. "I needed to figure out what his being gay meant for me, and whether I could incorporate that into my life and my marriage."

What they did know was that they believed in their marriage and wanted to make it work. Jim Will's revelation in 2001 began a three-year process during which they sorted out their feelings for each other. Ultimately, the couple, whose daughter turns 15 in March, decided to stay together.

"He had to learn to talk to me -- he had spent so many years not saying what was really on his mind, and not dealing with his true feelings," says Anna Marie Will, now 39, a worker's compensation program administrator. "We found out once we got past all that, our marriage was so much better. We still loved each other as people and partners."

Although Jim Will, 39, a secretary, had known on some level about his true orientation since he was 5, he didn't want to lose his deep bond with Anna Marie, whom he first befriended when they were in high school.

"When we married, and now still, we feel that we could spend the rest of our lives together," he says. "We want to be together."

An uncommon commitment

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The Wills' commitment to making their mixed-orientation marriage work over the long haul is more the exception for couples in this situation.

Nearly all couples decide to end their marriage by the third year of a spouse coming out, according to informal research conducted by Amity Pierce Buxton, a founder of and spokeswoman for the Straight Spouse Network, a support group that claims to reach about 7,000 spouses.

Even if the union is likely to end because one spouse is gay or lesbian, Buxton and her group try to help couples resolve their feelings in as positive a manner as possible.

The straight spouse is likely to feel that his or her sexual orientation has been rejected, says Buxton, whose first marriage ended in the early '80s after her husband came out. The straight spouse often also feels deceived and questions his or her beliefs about gender, as well as assumptions about the relationship: Wasn't I enough of a woman to keep him from straying? Wasn't I man enough to keep her from "turning"?

"After the initial shock, they gradually get to face the reality of the changes," says Buxton, author of "The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families."

"Once they realize they can't go back, only then can they start ... deciding what's best for them."

What Should You Tell the Kids?

Mixed-orientation couples like the Wills who also are parents must figure out what -- if anything -- to tell the kids about their relationship.

If the gay or lesbian spouse is not planning to act on his or her orientation, it may not be necessary to explain the situation at all, according to Shara Sand, a clinical assistant professor of psychology at the Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, at Yeshiva University.

For couples who agree on an open relationship, they may feel they have to broach the subject with their child. But Sand believes it's not advisable to do so before he or she reaches age 10, or the point at which they are capable of understanding abstract concepts.

"I might say something like, 'Mom and Dad still love each other very much... but we have a need to be close to other people. Some people have relationship where it's okay to live with someone and also be close to other people'," Sand suggests.

At no time should the couple discuss their sex life with their kids.

"I do think we've become a little boundary-less," Sand says. "I don't think it's necessarily appropriate for children to be led into the intimate part of their parents' relationship ever. Even if you have an open marriage, and you go out swinging, it's not something you necessarily tell your children."

One thing's familiar -- compromise

The Wills didn't talk much about their situation for about three months while Anna Marie Will began to come to terms with it. Then they started a series of discussions about the future of their relationship -- talks that were helped when she consulted the Straight Spouse Network and Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. The Wills set aside a time each week to discuss their feelings, rather than have the issue dominate their daily lives.

Eventually, they decided to have an open relationship, in which either could seek companionship from other people, and to continue their marriage on both an emotional and a sexual level. Nevertheless, Jim identifies himself as gay, not bisexual. Anna Marie is straight.

"Both of us are free to do whatever we choose," Anna Marie Will says. "I haven't strayed beyond the marriage because I'm happy with the marriage in a mental and physical capacity."

Jim Will says he has had encounters with men but has not pursued a full-fledged relationship.

"To this day, I have a very difficult time going out," he says. "It's not cheating because she knows what I'm doing, but something about it is not right for me, and then the experience doesn't seem worth it.

"I feel like I need to find the balance somehow of living both sides," he says.

The Wills' relationship, albeit nontraditional, seems to be like most marriages in one respect: It's all about compromise.

"You can't help who you love," Anna Marie Will says. "I can't imagine sharing a sunrise or sunset, or good day or bad day, with anyone else.

"When you find that person, you know that's it."

Says her husband: "Your relationship can be different from everyone else's, and if it works for you in your heart, that's what you do."
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,216
3,547
558
philly
#4
As the wife, why the fuck would you condone going along to gay bars? Wouldn't you question that even a little bit?
 

WhiskeyWhispers

I Want To Kill You All
Mar 11, 2007
3,544
3
0
Jersey
#10
"Neither one of us had a clue -- he didn't know what being gay meant for him. ... He needed to figure that out," recalls Anna Marie Will, of Sacramento, California. "I needed to figure out what his being gay meant for me, and whether I could incorporate that into my life and my marriage."
I'll help these dummies out:

It means your husband likes to put his peepee where the poopie comes out, and likes to hear man moans as he's doing it. It ain't rocket science. Other than wiping down the poop deck when your husband and his gay lover are finished, I don't see how you can incorporate that into the marriage.

And ladies, if your husband has unnaturally white teeth, spends more than a minute on his hair, and a has a little twinkle in his eye, it means he wants to dip his peanut butter in another man's chocolate.
 

BCH

Doesn't need your acknowledgement on Twitter
Wackbag Staff
Jun 9, 2005
9,519
235
513
New York
#11
And ladies, if your husband has unnaturally white teeth
Nope.

spends more than a minute on his hair,
Nope.

and a has a little twinkle in his eye,
Nope.

I guess you have something there.


You have written this as an And-And-And statement which means it would take all 3 of these attributes to qualify I would suggest any 2 of the 3 should be cause for alarm.
 

WhiskeyWhispers

I Want To Kill You All
Mar 11, 2007
3,544
3
0
Jersey
#12
You have written this as an And-And-And statement which means it would take all 3 of these attributes to qualify I would suggest any 2 of the 3 should be cause for alarm.
True, true.

I would also suggest that instead of inspecting their husbands shirt collar for lipstick, women might want to check their husbands' pants for little smudges of shit, always a tell-tale sign that your beloved rides the Hershey highway.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,052
35,924
628
In a porn tree
#13
As ridiculous as their situation is... at least it's better than those religious jagoffs who think they can "pray themselves straight".
 

NotSoFast

Registered User
Apr 23, 2006
5,069
2,699
498
Thibodaux, LA USA
#14
he brings home the money and she doesn't have to put out. I bet 90% of women wish their husbands were gay.
 

wetandstickyjim

Drop dead retard!
May 25, 2005
5,927
20
553
Congers, NY
#16
Only Male Nurse would have been a bigger tip-off.
Gota diagree. At least a Male Nurse is in health care, makes a decent living and cares for people.
Male secretery? ewww. Man up faggot. Then you're answering to someone you could be a peer to instead of taking orders from. He might as well sell Mary Kay at the point.

If my wife told me she was gay I could deal with it better than her leaving me for another dick and I could move on with my pride (and Joy) intact.
 

Cybouncer

Not Fat, Big Boned!
Feb 26, 2006
1,651
0
216
Long Island, NY
#17
When her husband of more than a decade revealed he was gay, Anna Marie Will was surprised
<R. Lee Ermy> Well, no shit</Ermy>



Gota diagree. At least a Male Nurse is in health care, makes a decent living and cares for people.
Male secretery? ewww. Man up faggot. Then you're answering to someone you could be a peer to instead of taking orders from. He might as well sell Mary Kay at the point.

Not to mention that the few male nurses I know get a lot of puss.
 

Ren5150

Linger Longerer
Aug 1, 2001
1,105
1
748
#18
Did she not notice when he projectile vomited every time she hauled out her cunt?
 

In RON We Trust

We Trust In RON
Jun 12, 2007
340
0
0
NYC
#21
Only Male Nurse would have been a bigger tip-off.
I have to say male flight attendant, or steward, would be more gay and a bigger tip-off. You don't see too many of them nowadays, but if you do, he is gay.

It may be possible to be a straight male nurse, but agreed, it's not likely.

Don't ever tell a male flight attendant that you feel cold.