Where do Birthdays go....when you die?

Friday

Fezzing Out
May 1, 2007
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#1
Do you think family and friends should commemorate the birthday somehow or should it just be another day, now that the person is no longer there to celebrate?

Today is my mom's birthday but she passed away last November. We never made a big deal out of the day - per her request. Usually just ordered in chinese and chatted away while the food network played in the background. On ocassion we would go out, if she was feeling healthy enough.

No pity party here please ... just seeking other views :)

Discuss!
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
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#2
If you want to do something for her, visit her grave site and lay down some flowers.
 

RobeSoup&Tears

Get 'em while they're hot
Aug 16, 2005
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Riverdale, New York
#3
If you want to do something for her, visit her grave site and lay down some flowers.
Good one....

Maybe you and other family members can do something that she liked to do…i.e. watch her favorite movie and/or go to her favorite restaurant.

Not to be too sappy but it would be nice to remember and even celebrate the Birthday of someone who’s really important to you although they’ve pass on.

Look what you've done now....Although I'm sure you'll be ok, I'm Sammy McSaddySadSad for you. :icon_sad:
 

Dopie Opie

Registered User
Oct 22, 2004
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#4
I told my mom that I would love to dance on her grave, but that was impossible...since I could not dance and piss at the same time....
 

izzy izkowitz

Chris Hansen is my hero
May 23, 2007
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#5
I have watched my wife try to be of the school of thought that doesn't celebrate the person's life or even acknowledge it after they are gone. She has never had closure and at times still gets upset several years later. I am of the thought that I would like to celebrate and remember the wonderful times that I had with the person. I think the suggestions of bringing flowers to the grave site or enjoying something that she enjoyed would be a great way to do that. I think your mother would be honored by suck a tribute to her life.
 
Apr 22, 2005
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#6
Do things that bring back good memories of her. Order some Chinese and put on Giada with some family members and reminisce of your mom.
 

Friday

Fezzing Out
May 1, 2007
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#7
tonight I am actually going up to my step-brothers to have dinner with the extended fam... my stepmom, sis and new 7 wk old nephew are visiting from Vegas and I am on nanny duty

thanks for all of the insight... we ordered chinese for lunch here :)

when i am dead i want people to play beer pong and twister on my bday that first year. even if they are all old and decrepid - just to remind themselves that life is fun.

wheeeeeeeeeeeee
 

martianvirus

READY THE ANALPROBES!!!!!!!!
Nov 20, 2005
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#8
More importantly, where will my birthday go when I move to Mars? How old will I be there?
 

MyKneeGrows

A Mean-Spirited Nothing™
Sep 14, 2006
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#9
My mom passed 5 years ago in march, 5 days before her 54th birfs. So birfday is too close to D day for me to have happy thoughts. But on mothers day is when I do all my happy thoughts and rememberances.
 

Friday

Fezzing Out
May 1, 2007
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#10
My mom passed 5 years ago in march, 5 days before her 54th birfs. So birfday is too close to D day for me to have happy thoughts. But on mothers day is when I do all my happy thoughts and rememberances.
I hear ya... I found my mom at her place post-seizure on Thanksgiving morning...and she died 6 days later. so yeah... that holiday is going to be a little skeery this year.
 

kloraferm

Humor is reason gone mad
Sep 6, 2002
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Staten Island, NY
#11
Today is my mom's birthday but she passed away last November. We never made a big deal out of the day - per her request.
Not trying to sound sappy, but I'm sorry to hear about your mom, but I think that if you all were just behaving the way she would've expected, then you're not really doing anything wrong.
 

martianvirus

READY THE ANALPROBES!!!!!!!!
Nov 20, 2005
19,062
134
268
Las Vegas, NV
#12
Birthdays never go away. I just try to ignore them, I'm much better off that way. But maybe that's not healthy. Even if humans leave this planet and the sun goes supernova, we will still have a way of keeping track of what earth-time would have been. So I'll say that birthdays never go away.

PS. Mother would have wanted you to go out and get some tacos. Or am I wrong?
 

Deadbent

You can go fuck.
Aug 19, 2005
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#13
I always commemorate their birth and deathdays if they've passed on.
I always will.

Speaking for myself, anything less than that is dishonorable.

Always remember, always commemorate it in your own special way.
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
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#14
If you want to do something for her, visit her grave site and lay down some flowers.
that's what I do on my grandparents' birthdays...my grandmother always loved when we made a big deal over her birthday so it's just a way of remembering her.

And, I'm sorry to hear about your mom....that must be an awful thing to experience.
 
Aug 10, 2007
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#15
Fuck I can't stand those "_______ would have been 26 today" conversations. Yeah, _____ would have been but he died... years ago.
 

CM Mark

The East is Ours!
Apr 13, 2005
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#16
After I die, on my birthday, people will celebrate by dancing on my grave, since I want my headstone to be a DDR machine
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
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#17
eh, dead is gone, this will be the second year my dad wont have a birthday, it doesn't bother me that much, but his death day does, i get drunk that day. well drunker than usual
 

Cha94

Open up your mind, pick up your brain
Aug 12, 2003
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Leesport, Pa
#20
My dad passed away 11 years ago. Usually my mom will put a little poem in the paper on his birthday and will also do one on the day that he died. Typically on both days I do a few shots of Southern Comfort in his honor, since that was his favorite drink. Usually spend a lot of time just thinking back to all the things that we did together and missed opportunities. Everyone has their own way of honoring someone and remembering them. Doing that in some form is better than not at all, which is a total disservice to that persons life.
 

flyerfan116

Fuckin savages
Apr 14, 2005
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NJ
#21
I don't think you have to do anything over the top, but a visit to the cemetary or just thinking about the person on that day makes me feel better, except of course my grandmother who died on her b-day still makes me sad 9 years later but it's nice to just remember the person. i think Chinese for lunch and spending time with your family was the perfect way to do that
 

MJMANDALAY

Registered User
Jan 26, 2005
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#23
I actually had to think about it. I realized that after the 1st anniversary of a freind or familys death I move on. Never recalled remembering a Birthday or anything.
The only person that I would remember is one of my friends who's birthday and day he died is inked on my arm.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,656
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#24
ive never seen my fathers head stone.