Where the Steak-Umms at?

Creasy Bear

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#1


Used to love me some Steak-Umm sammiches when I was a kid. Can't find those delicious nasty-ass minced, pressed and die-molded frozen planks of meat-like material anywhere.

Been looking hard... can't find those those fuckers anywhere out her in middle America. They still sell thems shits near you?

Fry 'em up with some oinionks... pile 'em up on a bun... some melty guv'mint cheese on top... mayo... or Miracle Whip if you're a filthy uncouth beast like MotorHead.

Damn... now I'm starvin'.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

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#2
Asking baggers about food is a good idea, but you have the best source right down the street. The Ruiner will know. I'm sure she has made some sort of Steak-Umm and Oreo treat.
 

Creasy Bear

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#3
Asking baggers about food is a good idea, but you have the best source right down the street. The Ruiner will know. I'm sure she has made some sort of Steak-Umm and Oreo treat.
She's too busy. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Ruiner is a blur of activity planning her annual masterpiece... Liquified Oreo basted turkey ala Ruiner with Oreo stuffing smothered in Oreo gravy and served with a side of mashed Oreos.
 
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#5
They still sell Steak-Umms near me, but they are pretty expensive now conisdering what they are and the fact that you need at least 3 of them to make anything resembling a decent sandwich and they sell them in horrible quantities such as the 7-pack in your post.
 

Creasy Bear

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#6

Creasy Bear

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They still sell Steak-Umms near me, but they are pretty expensive now conisdering what they are and the fact that you need at least 3 of them to make anything resembling a decent sandwich and they sell them in horrible quantities such as the 7-pack in your post.
Where is "near you? Adjacent to the zoo somewhere?

As far as the expense... yeah, I'd hate to have to dig into my hot tub and European cruise budgets... but I think I can swing it.
 
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#9
Where is "near you? Adjacent to the zoo somewhere?

As far as the expense... yeah, I'd hate to have to dig into my hot tub and European cruise budgets... but I think I can swing it.
I'm in NJ. If they don't carry those by you then try looking in the meat dpeartment of your grocery store. They might carry shaved steak that is essentially the same thing but not frozen (although I've seen some labeled "previously frozen"). It's usually cheaper and probably tastes better.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

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#10
Most stores carry a different brand. Could they taste that much different?
 

Creasy Bear

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#11
Most stores carry a different brand. Could they taste that much different?
The answer is... yes. I found these "Authentic Philly Cheesesteak" bags containing sliced sheets of horse vagina in my local grocery store's frozen food dept.... just doG-awful. Not even close to the Steak-Umms of my yute.
 

OccupyWackbag

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#12
I'm in NJ. If they don't carry those by you then try looking in the meat dpeartment of your grocery store. They might carry shaved steak that is essentially the same thing but not frozen (although I've seen some labeled "previously frozen"). It's usually cheaper and probably tastes better.


Most stores carry a different brand. Could they taste that much different?
This and this. Just get the real shit and enjoy the better taste.
 

Jacuzzi Billy

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#13
The answer is... yes. I found these "Authentic Philly Cheesesteak" bags containing sliced sheets of horse vagina in my local grocery store's frozen food dept.... just doG-awful. Not even close to the Steak-Umms of my yute.
Fair enough. It does say "America's Favorite Sliced Steak." I guess they were telling the truth.
 

Creasy Bear

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#14
I'm in NJ. If they don't carry those by you then try looking in the meat dpeartment of your grocery store. They might carry shaved steak that is essentially the same thing but not frozen (although I've seen some labeled "previously frozen"). It's usually cheaper and probably tastes better.
I figured Steak-Umms are still available in and around Philly. The magic of Steak-Umms is that they're not shaved steak. They're pulverized shit meat, that's then pressed into a sheet and frozen. The delicious magic happens somewhere in the pulverization and pressing process. Shaved steak just isn't the same.
 

Creasy Bear

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#17
Prolly just available in the Philly area. How bouts Long Island? Anybody?

Gonna be on the Isle of Strong visiting my annoying, awful mother-in-law for Thanksgiving. Ugh... huggy, kissy old bat drives my glitch off the charts with her touchy feelyness *shudder*.

King Kullen? Waldbaum's? Might have to grab a coupla tree boxes of the Steak-Umms when I'm there. Hook up with brother Crater... get hammered and go balls deep in some Steak-Umm sammitches.
 

Stormrider666

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#18
I'm in NJ. If they don't carry those by you then try looking in the meat dpeartment of your grocery store. They might carry shaved steak that is essentially the same thing but not frozen (although I've seen some labeled "previously frozen"). It's usually cheaper and probably tastes better.
Yeah one of the supermarkets in my neighborhood carries the shaved steak and it is indeed quite tasty. The same goes for the shaved pork.

When I buy frozen though, I alternate between Steak-Umms and Pathmark's brand.
 

mills

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#19
I don't think I've been to a store that didn't have them. That said I haven't bothered with them more than once or twice in the last decade. If someone made me eat them I'd put them shits on a george foreman grill. Maybe just boil them and change out the water 4 or 5 times.
 
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#20
I don't think I've been to a store that didn't have them. That said I haven't bothered with them more than once or twice in the last decade. If someone made me eat them I'd put them shits on a george foreman grill. Maybe just boil them and change out the water 4 or 5 times.

Boiled Steak-Umms? That's madness, sir!
 

mills

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#21
I wasn't really serious. But the grease is way too much. Leave the grease concoction masterpieces to the professionals like NY pizza parlor dagos or Philly steak shop dagos. Do not try at home.

I can't even fry a hamburger anymore without half a roll of paper towels.
 

ruckstande

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#22
Asked my wife a while back to grab me some chipped steak from the supermarket. She came back with a box of Steakums. They were so fucking gross. Oh and one small box was approximately 16 servings.
 

Creasy Bear

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#23
Look... I'm not saying that those Steak-umm shit planks are ambrosia... they're just nasty shit that I loved in my childhood. Don't tell me you people didn't have a dog shit "comfort food" that you loved when you were a kid, and would just like to eat again for nostalgia's sake?

I also remember Kraft Spaghetti Dinner...




It was utter dog shit... a shitty dry spice packet that you mixed with a can of tomato paste and water, and poured the resulting glop over the shitty pasta that came in the box.

But... nostalgia is so strong that they started making the dog shit again... and I want to eat it!

 

LiddyRules

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#24
Look... I'm not saying that those Steak-umm shit planks are ambrosia... they're just nasty shit that I loved in my childhood. Don't tell me you people didn't have a dog shit "comfort food" that you loved when you were a kid, and would just like to eat again for nostalgia's sake?
Like Sevruga Caviar instead of Beluga caviar. My palette was so pedestrian when I was a lad.
 

Creasy Bear

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#25
Like Sevruga Caviar instead of Belugar caviar. My palette was so pedestrian when I was a lad.
My mother made my mid-morning tea canapes with duck liver pate instead of goose liver. We were utter white trash.