World's funniest joke

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#1
thoughts / comments?

The winner, submitted by Gurpal Gosall of Manchester, was:
“ Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World's_funniest_joke
 

Hey_Asshole

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#2
thoughts / comments?

The winner, submitted by Gurpal Gosall of Manchester, was:
“ Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World's_funniest_joke
Are you kidding me? I think I heard this in 4th grade.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
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#4
:haha7:
:haha7:
:haha7:
:haha7:
:haha7:
:haha7:
:haha7:
:haha7:




















not.
 

Plunkies

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#5
Hrm...How odd...I don't seem to be laughing uncontrollably.
 

moegolden

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#6
I prefer the legndary tales of the wit of Sir Winston Churchill.


"***Churchill was known to drain a glass or two and, after one particularly convivial evening, he chanced to encounter Miss Bessie Braddock, a Socialist member of the House of Commons, who, upon seeing his condition, said, "Winston, you're drunk." Mustering all his dignity, Churchill drew himself up to his full height, cocked an eyebrow and rejoined, "Shove it up your ass, you ugly cunt."




***When the noted playwright George Bernard Shaw sent him two tickets to the opening night of his new play with a note that read: "Bring a friend, if you have one," Churchill, not to be outdone, promptly wired back: "You and your play can go fuck yourselves."

***At an elegant dinner party, Lady Astor once leaned across the table to remark, "If you were my husband, Winston, I'd poison your coffee."
"And if you were my wife, I'd beat the shit out of you," came Churchill's unhesitating retort.


***Shortly after Churchill had grown a moustache, he was accosted by a certain young lady whose political views were in direct opposition to his own. Fancying herself something of a wag, she exclaimed, "Mr. Churchill, I care for neither your politics nor your moustache."
Unabashed, the young statesman regarded her quietly for a moment, then wryly commented, "Suck my dick."


***Churchill was given to reading to reading in the bathtub and, while staying at the White House, he became so engrossed in an account of the Battle of Fonteney that he forgot President Roosevelt was due to drop by to discuss the upcoming conference in Yalta. At the appointed hour, the president was wheeled into Churchill's quarters only to be informed that the prime minister had not finished bathing. Roosevelt was about to apologize for the intrusion and depart when Churchill, puffing his customary cigar, strode into the room stark naked and greeted the nonplussed world leader with a terse, "What are you staring at, shitdick?"
"


(as told by Michael O'Donoghue)
 

AngryDragon

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#8
Just read the "Ron Bennington line of the day" thread and you'll have thousands of the worlds funniest jokes.
 

batgoat

the medication doesn't work....
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#11
So this Chinese dude jumps out of the closet and yells: SUPPLIES!!!!!!!!!!


Hack and insensitive..... Yay me!
 

BigWilly

Just thoughts, no prayers.
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#12
...put velcro on the ceiling.
 

Ego

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#15
...So they don't bite their fingers when eating Tootsie Rolls.
 

R.BuddDwyer

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#17
...Pope wrote C word.
 

Chapel

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#20
booooooooooooooo
 

R.BuddDwyer

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#21
I think it was the Decon Fogon.
 
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