Worst Thing your significant other did to you in your sleep.

MilkmanDan

Uncontrollable Urge
Jan 13, 2003
15,588
24
683
Philly
#1
I'm not gonna say this is horrid, but I work midnight shifts, AND I like to listen to O&A and Ron and Fez which plays hell on my sleep schedule. 2-3 hours a night, used to it. Fridays, I pass out early.
This Friday I got woken up to a fork in my right hand to try to wake me up.
Just setting the bar low, no chicks ever done anything sick to me in my sleep but stabbing me with a fork is a good start.
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#2
Sickest thing the ex-abuser ever did to me in my sleep was a dutch oven. You wanna talk what he did while I was awake & boy to have stories to tell!!! ;)
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,938
6,974
763
F.U.B.A.R
#3
One gf woke me up with a hummer. Considering, she wasn't really into to giving them, I was surprised and blew a load down her throat for good measure.
 

WhiteHonkyDevil

El hombre de los moleculos!
Dec 8, 2004
10,929
959
628
Detroit, MI
#4
Worst thing? She figured if she just started punching me in the face that she'd kick my ass before I could wake up enough to fight back.

Boy was she wrong.
 

BaLZaC~308

ONE OF THE COOL KIDS
Sep 27, 2006
7,217
1
141
staten
#5
One gf woke me up with a hummer. Considering, she wasn't really into to giving them, I was surprised and blew a load down her throat for good measure.
I was gonna post the same thing... then I realized that hummers while you sleep aren't a bad thing. Akward but not bad
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
43,671
10,134
848
#6
mine loves to wake me up, we work odd schedules so she's a day sleeper, and refuses to get up in the morning when she doesn't have to work, i work days and like to sleep in, it gets ugly
 

cozzie

head retard
Aug 7, 2005
1,482
1
176
Norristown PA
#7
Never had anything bad happen to me while sleeping. But one time I got my ass kicked pretty good by a guy almost 3 times my size. I had a bruised kidney, and 2 black eyes, but nothing major, any way because of the bruised kidney I was told to drink like a gallon of water, koolaid , whatever, a day. One night I couldn't sleep , so I took a half of a muscle relaxer. Hours later my gf woke me up to let me know I had pissed all over us. She was madder than hell, and I laughed a little and said hey, what'd you expect.
 

JoeyDVDZ

Well-Known Member
Donator
Aug 20, 2004
30,166
6,043
763
#8
One gf woke me up with a hummer. Considering, she wasn't really into to giving them, I was surprised and blew a load down her throat for good measure.

x2. Although I guess this isn't technically a "worst" thing, it is worth being happy about! I, too, blew the load across the tonsils. Good times.
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#9
One gf woke me up with a hummer. Considering, she wasn't really into to giving them, I was surprised and blew a load down her throat for good measure.
Damn, if that's the worst thing she's ever done what's the best? That sounds like a pretty damn good way to wake up if ya ask me....which I know you're not :action-sm
 

Mags

LDAR, bitch.
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
35,856
12,349
763
Ill Repute
#10
"Worst Thing your significant other did to you in your sleep. "

Surrvive the night?
 
S

sycsix

Guest
#11
One of my ex's woke me up from a sound sleep by biting my nipple and clamping down. I almost punched her in the head just out of reaction. Worst part was that she wouldn't let go. Like that stunt in jackass when they put a baby gator on one of the guys nips and tugged on it.

Relationship didn't last long but she could fuck like a machine.
 

Creampier

I have to return some videotapes!
May 11, 2007
748
0
366
Somerville, NJ
#12
About 3 months ago, my girlfriend was having a nightmare and was thrashing around. I got a pointy elbow right in the cheek bone, bruising and massive swelling just below the eye.

She felt pretty bad about it and let me do dirty things to her that she wouldn't let me try before, so it wasn't so bad after all.
 

Glenn Dandy

THE ONLY WHITE PRESIDENT LEFT.
Mar 21, 2005
19,758
35
298
Wackbag Whitehouse.
#13
Painted my toenails pink.

I didnt even notice till i got home from work the next day and took my boots off... that bitch is lucky i wasnt in an accident that day. I woulda killed her.
 

PALLY

Registered User
Jun 28, 2005
1,580
0
36
jersey
#14
How about calling out someone else's name?? Not sure if it is the worst thing but it did bug me!
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
32,840
4,566
898
Land of misfit toys
#16
In college, passed out during a session of Cowgirl and the Bucking Bronco....woke up, showered, and went to practice with all sorts of nasty stuff written on me in marker.
 
Apr 22, 2005
3,988
0
261
Bucks Co., PA
#18
I sleep walk and talk. I had one of my typical aliens attacking dreams and grabbed my wife's arm and yanked her out of the bed onto the floor yelling "take cover!"
 
B

BreeZyBaBii187

Guest
#21
people usually don't do anything too bad to me but i will attack and feel pretty much zero guilt about it. my signature moves are anything involving the night creeper* and putting food in peoples mouths. seems like nothing but it's psychological warfare.


*the night creeper is a baby wipe fashioned into a vessel for anything i can find in the bathroom cabinets then attatched to the end of a curtain rod
 

Buster H

Alt-F4
Wackbag Staff
Dec 6, 2004
12,248
2,729
748
Lower Bucks Co, PA
#22
I sleep walk and talk. I had one of my typical aliens attacking dreams and grabbed my wife's arm and yanked her out of the bed onto the floor yelling "take cover!"
holy shit man, that is really funny