XM Commercials What Would You Do?

How Would You Re-write an XM Commercial?

  • Beat Harry's wife to death with an awning

    Votes: 42 77.8%
  • Keep Dave Graveline from ever seeing the future

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Brain the small business guy with a rock

    Votes: 4 7.4%
  • Piss in the faggy wine critics bottle

    Votes: 8 14.8%

  • Total voters
    54
#1
I think we all agree the commercials on XM have the entertainment value of a school play at the Waterhead Institute. If you could rewrite any XM commercial, what would you do?
 

Hoffman

Guess who's back? Hoffman's back
#2
Where is the obligatory;

Bagel Lord is a cunt
CM Mark must die
I hate Gally Dooly

???
 

USCowboy69

Excuse me Sir could you please pick up my piggies?
#3
Aside from Ziggy's XM radio commercials, most of them fill me with road rage fit only for convoy ops in Iraq. That damned Sunsetter Awning is the only one that really get's me every time. I think it's a law somewhere that you ad lib what Harry really said: "Alright! Stupid Cunt!"

I love Anthony's rendition of the MAN...grooooomer.
 
M

maniacdevnull

Guest
#4
No (E) All of the Above?


Also, I'd like to see the wine critic review wines I can afford. Like Mad Dog or Boone's Farm.
 

Baby Evil

Trading warriors for illegals works, right?
#5
How about all of the stupid XM Commercials? I would rewrite them for:

Dead Earth...A concert to encourage pollution and the overuse of the world's resources.

Welcome to the Church would be some hardcore racist backwoods white church with Snoop Dogg getting hung from a tree.

All of the XM racing commercials would have the sounds of horrific car crashes in the background.
 

USCowboy69

Excuse me Sir could you please pick up my piggies?
#6
How about all of the stupid XM Commercials? I would rewrite them for:

Dead Earth...A concert to encourage pollution and the overuse of the world's resources.

Welcome to the Church would be some hardcore racist backwoods white church with Snoop Dogg getting hung from a tree.

All of the XM racing commercials would have the sounds of horrific car crashes in the background.
Got anything for when XM "Fades to Black" to replay music for black music month? :haha7:
 

pnigga

hold my hand, dane
#8
no one deserves the business end of a ballpeen hammer more than Jim Blasingame

that being said, when the boys were on suspension, I was forced to listen to WJFK's feed of the CBS show from 10-1 every day. if you think XM commercials are bad, trying to listening to Joy Behar talking crime prevention with a grown man calling himself "McGruff the Crime Dog" sixty times a commercial break.
 

Baby Evil

Trading warriors for illegals works, right?
#9
Got anything for when XM "Fades to Black" to replay music for black music month? :haha7:
Before I give my commercial I need to rant:

Why the hell do blacks get two months? February and June. February is the history side, and music can't have historical roots I guess, and then June for the music...can we find another short month and give them Black Athetics month? How stupid is this shit? If there was white music month Rev. Al and Jesse Jackson would be all over TV trying to make people feel guilty. The more these racist pimps try to get themselves separate months, the more separate they will be from the rest of the population.

NOW....
XM Fades to Black, but there is a light in the distance with some special music...

 

Garyisajoke

I created FRED, fuckface. Show some respect.
#10
Are we going to ignore the O&A-produced spots? The one of Steve undressing, the WOW commercial about Travis on a bus to Canada, etc. - they're terrible. Granted, they dumped the hillbilly WOW ad (wooooeeeeeeeee I just got WOWed!!) but they're un-fucking-listenable.
 

Buster H

Alt-F4
Wackbag Staff
#11
I think most of the adds and promos wouldn't be too bad if we didn't hear them 2000 times a day.

I would love to hear about euthanasia being this week's theme for Bob Dylan's show
 

pnigga

hold my hand, dane
#12
Are we going to ignore the O&A-produced spots? The one of Steve undressing, the WOW commercial about Travis on a bus to Canada, etc. - they're terrible. Granted, they dumped the hillbilly WOW ad (wooooeeeeeeeee I just got WOWed!!) but they're un-fucking-listenable.
O&A aren't really surrounded by the most talented people in the world
 
#13
Before I give my commercial I need to rant:

Why the hell do blacks get two months? February and June. February is the history side, and music can't have historical roots I guess, and then June for the music...can we find another short month and give them Black Athetics month? How stupid is this shit? If there was white music month Rev. Al and Jesse Jackson would be all over TV trying to make people feel guilty. The more these racist pimps try to get themselves separate months, the more separate they will be from the rest of the population.
Even worse, "black history" is such fabricated bullshit. The people they celebrate are never the "first" to do anything, they are always the "first black." Hell lots of people could claim historical significance based on that standard.

And what about the relevant parts of black history they leave out? Like it blacks in Africa who sold slaves to the white people. It was a white guys who fought and died to free them and white people who built the country they live so comfortably in.

They want to be seperated because it entitles them to special rights. That's why Jesse and Al make a career out of fabricated racism. XM is playing up to this because there are a lot of special interest groups supporting the merger. They know it is them, not the general public, who dictate to the government.

XM and Sirius are promising more "diverse" programming after the merger so expect more of this shit and less freedom for O&A to make racially-based remarks
 

maz

TRueWDTer
#14
i'm no kin the the monkey no, no, no
the monkey's no kin to me yeah, yeah, yeah
 

maz

TRueWDTer
#15
no one deserves the business end of a ballpeen hammer more than Jim Blasingame

that being said, when the boys were on suspension, I was forced to listen to WJFK's feed of the CBS show from 10-1 every day. if you think XM commercials are bad, trying to listening to Joy Behar talking crime prevention with a grown man calling himself "McGruff the Crime Dog" sixty times a commercial break.
unfortunately i still listen to the end of the jfk feed
fuckin' brutal commercials
and they always cut off the end of the show
how's that helping the ratings
the vegas feed at 1 is muuuuuch better
 

Wally1985

Lil' Jimmy Makes Me LOL
#16
xm has the worst marketing department ever. i hope harry drops dead fuck him. and also you'd think they'd change up the traveling virus promos not the same steve fucking up the cities promo.
 
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