Your own personal douche moment

NortonsSTD

I'm a disease
Jan 6, 2006
137
0
0
Vegas
#1
I make my own skin crawl when I think back to this douche moment. It was right around the time that the Thriller album was at it's peak. I was I guess 11, or 12 years old. My uncle had a garage apartment behind someones house. He was into the hair bands, and smoked weed like most other 20 something uncles that lived in a garage apartment in the 80's. I was there alone one day, and thought the entire world should know just how great the Thriller album was. So, I put it on the ole turntable, and cranked up the system, and promptly opened the door and took a step outside. I was standing out in the yard, all proud, waiting for the masses to come rushing up to ask what that was, and how they could get one. A few seconds into the first song I heard someone from the neighbors house yell out the window to "turn that shit off" I immediately, and without hesitation, passed the blame along to someone else, and yelled back that I would go check out who put that on, and correct the issue right away. I turned around like an ass, and walked back into the stupid apartment, and turned the shit off, and felt like a complete douche.
 

nimsu

The Duck Goes Quack
Nov 14, 2004
358
0
0
#2
congrats. you were able to recreate that douche moment for the 2nd time in your life
 

SOS

ONA
Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
48,116
8,880
938
USA
#3
I once accidently said I was something similar to what I was and I had to go off and explain that discipline.
 

mr. sin

Registered User
Mar 30, 2005
27,229
14,031
643
RALEIGH, NC
#4
please say u wore the red or black mike jackson jacket also.
 

NortonsSTD

I'm a disease
Jan 6, 2006
137
0
0
Vegas
#7
congrats. you were able to recreate that douche moment for the 2nd time in your life
No, I've told that awful story to a few others over the years since because it was just such a douche moment. I'm never too good to put myself in the barrel, or under a bus.
 

meanmarv

"café con piernas"
May 26, 2005
1,693
1
218
Montana
#11
Has anyone ever jerked-off to Barney? The Purple Headed Monster.
 

meanmarv

"café con piernas"
May 26, 2005
1,693
1
218
Montana
#13
I was just fishing for a reply, by golly I got one.
 

theo

Registered User
Mar 9, 2005
415
0
0
#14
just remembered a big douche moment from childhood. I'm in the 6th grade and madly in love with Noelle Savage, I followed her around the halls, always keeping enough distance for her to not notice i existed, but staying close enough to look at her every move and attempting to work up the nerve to profess my undying love. this went on for a while, then through friends i found out she was a regular on the weekends to the little YMCA teen dances that were held, and since i lived across the street i started to stalk her there too. it was there that i bought her a coke, i was getting coke and pizza and she came up and wanted to get a coke, but didn't have any money and i was there to overhear this and offered her a coke..., then i went and hid in a corner in the dark and ate my pizza and watched her drink coke. the following monday i was at school and i went and dropped a note in her locker that basically said "you dont really know me, but i bought you a coke this weekend at the Y and i really have a thing for you, heres my locker number if you want to talk to me" at the end of the day a bunch of guys came up to me at my locker and called me out on it, after she had apparently opened the note in front of her lil boyfriend guy and his friends, i was quick to say i had indeed put the note in her locker, but that i did it for a friend of mine who liked her, it was not me who liked her, then named a random kid from my gym class as the true romeo..., that kid said i was full of shit and from there i was condemned to replay it all over and over in my head... for i knew i was a big douche.
oh, and i used to call her house all the time to try and talk to her, but her dad would always answer and id get scared and hang up, then i got to where i would ask for her and her dad would ask who was calling and... i'd hang up, after a while he eventually put her on the phone without questioning me.... she got on and said "who is this" in an angry tone.... and i said "nobody" and hung up never to call again....
sometimes i still wonder what ever became of her, maybe one day ill put on the old stalker gear and track her down and put her in a van and.... well never mind:D
 

chutzd

Registered User
Jan 24, 2007
569
0
101
Columbus OH
#15
A couple weeks ago I used the line "it'll cost you an arm and a leg" eeehhhhhhhhhhh
I quickly smacked myself in the face
 

CoalShoveler

Registered User
Jun 18, 2007
80
0
0
Midlothian, VA
#16
When meeting the boys after Jimmy's HBO special everything was going good. I wished Jimmy a Happy Birtday, told the guys how the suspention was shit, and got a picture. Then as I was walking away like a douche I said, "Keep up the good work." Blech.
 

SonnyForelli

The New Owner of the Original Wifflebat
Feb 4, 2005
3,496
2
218
Peabody Ma.
#17
:icon_redfOK, I just had a douche moment just an hour ago. I was wiring a bathroom job, and this job is a multi thousand dollar job, so its safe to say the woman who owns the home is one of those hoydy toydy type.

So Anyways, it was getting to the crunch time part of the rough wiring towards the end of today when my stomach started turning. I have been eating salad all day so I knew it was coming. All of a sudden, I let a very loud dry fart. since there was just an open frame in that part of the house, the sound just resonated through out the bathroom. All I said was, ooh that was a Salad Fart, sounding all proud and everything.

Well one of my two employees just turned to me and just gave me this look like I had done something wrong. I looked at him and said, whats the matter and the Woman who owns the house said, I'm right here! She was in the Bedroom that was right next to the bathroom and heard everything!:icon_redf
 

fkornre

Boogity Boogity Boogity...Let's go racing boys...
Nov 4, 2006
1,744
0
0
monroe twp, nj
#18
lol @ sonny and theo...


my douche moment came when i was a sophmore in hs (1992)...well it was gym class and the guys had to do the situps for the physical fitness test...well the girls got the chance to hold the boys feet so we could do as many as we could in 2 mins...well the hottest girl in school was holding my feet...i got to 15 when i just ripped one in her face as she is holding my feet....i couldnt have been more embarrased in my entire life...
 

Hoo Hoo Howie

ohhhhhh nooooo.... I earned that Caaaaake!
Dec 13, 2004
796
0
206
Congers, NY - Rockland County
#19
lol sonny (although I think you just had another douche moment by using the expression "Multithousand job" never heard that before.. tee hee), :action-sm

But here's mine. In 4th grade (1981) I had a crush on this girl Patty Martino and I asked my Dad how to go about dealing with it. So he said, well why don't you ask to hold her books for her(like it was still 1950). So I was in my math class with her, and as we were leaving to go back to homeroom and I asked "Can I hold your books for you?" And she said - nah that's OK. The class we were going to was 10 feet across the hall. Yes.. I was a douche.. and I felt like killing myself afterwards.
 

Capt.Caveman

Totally unlikeable
Jan 13, 2005
9,424
14
273
closer to a playground then allowed by law
#20
well I was in australia getting blown in an alley when this lovely girl says did you hear that. i say no. well she says i'm gonna check her out. well i never saw her or my wallet again......good times...yuck
 
H

Hot Flash

Guest
#22
I was walking past the YMCA on 14 street and I saw this very tall blond hair man being verbally and slightly physically abusive to his young son. I was sort of following them on my way to the Port Authority. I stopped at a red light while the tall man continued to abuse his son. There was an Asian woman standing next to me waiting to cross the street. I said to her "don't you think that guy is being a little rough with his son?" and she answered that it was her son and her husband and her son was rude and disrespectful. I thought I was going to die. I had to turn around an take a different route to the Port Authority so I didn't run into her again. My daughter thought it was hysterical.
 

Freese

Ramone and Frunkis-Since '83
Oct 1, 2006
1,912
33
218
Ottawa, Canada
#23
I was in Grade 10 French Class. There was this really hot piece of ass. Rebecca Tooke. What a smokin body she had. Anyways, since I sucked donkey balls as a human being I was just blatently staring at her ass as she wrote some stuff on the blackboard. You could see the outline of her panties through her skin tight jeans. The teacher asked me a question and I was all tounge tied. The teach knew what was up. I'm a creep. yeeeeech!
 

theo

Registered User
Mar 9, 2005
415
0
0
#24
i got another one, it was right after lil jimmy did his first hbo show, and i had watched it a thousand times over a few days, as i was trying to find a way to edit it cleverly and make something humorous, anyway..., it was that week that drove two hours up to DC to hang out with ron and fez at wjfk, they used to allow listeners to come hang for the thursdays shows or something... and i went. so im up there, and im nervous and im sweating, and everyone seemed to know someone, but me, i was all alone, so im trying to talk to ron and he's being polite, but im sure he hates me (in retrospect i think he was just generally bored), and i said something like "sorry to be all nervous... im all sweaty palmed and have the rapidly blinking eyes"... and when i said it, i wasnt trying to steal a jimmy line, it just came out from over exposure i guess, and he says in a tone that said 'your not impressing me' "like little jimmy norton, huh?" ... i felt like he thought i was trying to use jimmy line as my own, and he more or less ignored my presence for the rest of the night shy of being polite when i said my goodbyes... i still feel a cold cringe when i think about it...., my hero hated me :arrrh:
 

Oppoman

The Douche of Baggery
Apr 18, 2007
350
0
0
San Diego, CA
#25
I make my own skin crawl when I think back to this douche moment. It was right around the time that the Thriller album was at it's peak. I was I guess 11, or 12 years old. My uncle had a garage apartment behind someones house. He was into the hair bands, and smoked weed like most other 20 something uncles that lived in a garage apartment in the 80's. I was there alone one day, and thought the entire world should know just how great the Thriller album was. So, I put it on the ole turntable, and cranked up the system, and promptly opened the door and took a step outside. I was standing out in the yard, all proud, waiting for the masses to come rushing up to ask what that was, and how they could get one. A few seconds into the first song I heard someone from the neighbors house yell out the window to "turn that shit off" I immediately, and without hesitation, passed the blame along to someone else, and yelled back that I would go check out who put that on, and correct the issue right away. I turned around like an ass, and walked back into the stupid apartment, and turned the shit off, and felt like a complete douche.
Is this who you dreamed you would once be?



*Edit: for some reason my image didn't show properly, It was a picture of Adam Sandler's buddy in Wedding singer with his Red michael jackson jacket on. Not as funny w/o the picture.. I guess this counts as a douche moment for me. I suck.